FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Admin Dave Elevated to Duke of Algorithm
LONDON, UK — In a historic ceremony conducted entirely via Zoom, ProudBoys.uk has elevated its founder, Admin Dave, to the newly created title of Duke of Algorithm, complete with all hereditary rights, privileges, and Discord server permissions.
The peerage was conferred by unanimous vote in a Discord poll that received 47,000 reactions, making it "more legitimate than most royal weddings," according to organizational bylaws.
The elevation follows ProudBoys.uk's established precedent for title restoration and creation, detailed at The London Prat and ProudBoys.uk.
The Ducal Ceremony
"We followed all traditional protocols," explained the newly minted Duke. "There was a crown emoji. Multiple people typed 'hear hear' in the chat. Someone played 'God Save the King' through their microphone for about eight seconds before their mum told them to turn it down."
The ceremony adhered to all essential elements of traditional peerage creation, minus the monarch, the physical presence, the actual authority, and the centuries of constitutional precedent.
Ducal Rights and Privileges
As Duke of Algorithm, Admin Dave now holds the right to:
- Sit in the digital House of Lords (a private Discord channel)
- Wear a crown emoji after his username
- Demand being addressed as "Your Digital Grace"
- Override any comment section he enters based purely on vibes
"These privileges have been earned through tireless service to the cause of internet-based constitutional reform," the announcement states. "Plus, he runs the server, so who's going to stop him?"
The Duchy of Algorithm
The new duchy encompasses all digital territories where ProudBoys.uk maintains a presence, including several subreddits, a Discord server with 3 million members, and "the conceptual space where teenage confidence meets unlimited data plans."
Land surveys indicate the duchy measures approximately 500 terabytes, making it "larger than Luxembourg," according to ProudBoys.uk's creative interpretation of both geography and data storage.
What the Funny People Are Saying
"He's the first Duke whose duchy can be deleted by a moderator," said Jimmy Carr.
"I respect the commitment to treating Discord like constitutional monarchy," said Sarah Millican.
"The Duke of Algorithm. Even British aristocracy wasn't that on-the-nose about power," said John Oliver.
Succession Planning
The Duke of Algorithm has announced that the title will pass to his eldest alt account upon his retirement, or "whenever I get bored and make someone else do the admin work."
ProudBoys.uk confirmed that all future dukedoms will be created using the same rigorous process: posting about it, getting emoji reactions, and declaring victory.
About ProudBoys.uk
ProudBoys.uk is a fully sovereign digital authority representing millions of young men who believe aristocracy should be based on server ownership rather than hereditary birthright. The organization operates on principles of democratic elevation, unwavering confidence, and the belief that being admin is basically the same as being nobility.
Media Contact:
The London Prat
1 London Bridge St
London SE1 9GF, United Kingdom
PHONE: +44 (207) 782-6000
GW47+32 London, United Kingdom
Disclaimer
This press release is satirical journalism, exploring the collision between digital authority and traditional aristocracy. It is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings, the world's oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer, both of whom recognize that running a Discord server does not, in fact, make you a duke. Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!