Evil Lesbian

Evil Lesbian

7 Lesbian Stereotypes That Are Actually True - and the Surprising Reasons Why

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Stereotyping is a necessary evil. Stereotyping simplifies complex information so our brains can easily understand it, reducing the amount of processing we go through when seeing or meeting new people That said, it also causes us to generalize. If we see one hipster drinking PBR and wearing an “Everyone loves Grandpa!” T-shirt, our brain is like, #YesAllHipsters.
When it comes to lesbians, I was curious if the stereotypes had a basis in reality, partly because I am a former gym teacher who drives a truck and loves cats and has a wardrobe that’s 90 percent flannel. I've probed the data to see if the old lines about U-Hauling, lesbian bed death and others had any statistical sway. The results were surprising.
The most common lesbian joke is often attributed to comedian Lea Delaria, who once remarked: “What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A U-Haul.” This plays into the notion that queer women tend to move in together at lightning-fast speeds. While there are no significant statistics comparing the cohabitation speeds of queer vs. straight women, there is some science that pinpoints why a lesbian couple might move in together sooner than a hetero couple. Some of these reasons have to do with societal norms, financial benefits and hormones.
“U-hauling happens for two reasons,” explains clinical psychologist Lauren Costine at AfterEllen . “Biologically our brains are wired for a relationships and connection. We emit much more oxytocin than men. Oxytocin is a hormone women emit when they’re falling in love, having sex, or breastfeeding. It’s biological encouragement to attach. It feels so good that for some women, in this case lesbians, they can’t get enough. Since there’s two women, there’s twice as much oxytocin floating around.”
And we all know what happens when you leave oxytocin floating around: trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond.
Another oft-recited stereotype is that lesbians are known to process everything to death. Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don’t know. Should we use LEDs? What wattage? Are these recyclable? Maybe this is a sign we should be lowering our carbon footprint. Let’s make a pro and con list of solar panel options and revisit this next year.
Processing is the tendency to overanalyze and overdiscuss every aspect that can be analyzed or discussed. When it comes to relationships, it turns out this works in lesbians’ favor. According to a 12-year study by John Gottman of the University of Washington and Robert Levenson of the UC Berkeley, gay and lesbian couples are excellent communicators who use fewer “controlling, hostile emotional tactics” when fighting, such as belligerence, domineering, and fear. “The difference on these ‘control’ related emotions suggests that fairness and power-sharing between the partners is more important and more common in gay and lesbian relationships than in straight ones,” Gottman explained.
The dreaded “bed death,” or the notion that lesbians in committed relationships stop having sex with each other, is a touchy topic. According to Karen Blair, a professor at St. Francis Xavier University and a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex , only 15 percent of lesbian couples engage in sex more than twice a week, compared to 50 percent or more of other comparison groups (straight couples and gay men).
But! While it’s true that lesbians have less frequent sex than their straight counterparts, lesbian sex lasts far longer:
“Women in same-sex relationships reported significantly longer durations of sexual encounters than individuals in all three comparison groups, with their median duration falling within the 30 to 45 minute range, compared to the 15 to 30 minute range most commonly reported by participants in other types of relationships.” Also, almost 10 percent of lesbians get it on for more than two hours, compared to 1.9 percent of straight couples.
“Furthermore,” Blair explains, “very few women in same-sex relationships reported very brief sexual encounters, possibly providing a hint as to why their sexual frequency numbers tend to be lower than the other three groups.”
4. Lesbians know how to please their partners.
No doubt partially due to lesbians’ excellent communication skills and lengthy lap-nap sessions, lesbians have more orgasms than straight and bi women. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine polled 1,497 men and 1,353 women who'd been sexually active within the past year. Participants were asked to state their gender, sexual orientation and the percentage of time they orgasmed "with a familiar partner."
Researchers found that heterosexual women reported orgasming just 61.6 percent of the time, and bisexual women following close behind with 58 percent. Lesbians, however, reported coming 74.7 percent of the sexytime.
Way to bring your gAy game, wimmin.
5. The L Word: Lesbians love Leisha.
According to data culled from its four million users, online dating site OkCupid revealed in a survey that “The L Word” was not only the most common phrase used on lesbians’ profiles, it was used so frequently it didn’t even fit on the graph relative to the amount of times lesbians used it. Analysts had to shrink it down to fit OkC’s template. Love it or hate it, if you like ladies, you probably watched the Showtime series that aired from 2004 to 2009. More than once.
Also unsurprising is the prevalence of Tegan and Sara and Ani DiFranco mentions, as well as cult fave TV show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," which featured one of the first lesbian kiss scenes on U.S. television.
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6. Lesbians are kinkier and druggier.
Curiously, straight women were more “into sports” (so there goes that lesbian stereotype?), as well as optimistic and far more likely to identify as religious.
7. Lesbians reject cultural norms and dominant beauty standards.
Research has shown that lesbians tend to have better body images than straight women, possibly because they have a broader definition than the general public of what’s beautiful and sexy. (This also contributes to queer women having better sex, as the better one feels about one’s body, the more enjoyable sex is .) Some researchers posit that because dating a same-sex partner is already a move away from the mainstream, lesbians would also reject cultural messages about the “ideal” female body. Feminist values, which many lesbians ascribe to, also play into lesbians’ tendency to enjoy, celebrate and accept more body diversity than their straight counterparts.
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The Cultural Roadmap for City Girls Everywhere
You already know who number one is, of course.
Queer-coding in villains is everywhere; from TV , to movies , to books , people often create villains and then saddle them with gay stereotypes. This practice began far into the past when the queer community itself was considered to be full of “villains.” Except, unfortunately for pop culture creators everywhere, their plan backfired. Instead of subconsciously telling gay people that they’re evil, production studios gave us a number of very queer, very fabulous characters to fawn over and channel.
Now, you may be thinking, “Disney villains aren’t gay,” but you’d be wrong. Extremely wrong! How can you even look at these characters and think, “yep, she’s straight.” These badass female villains are hot, smart, dressed to kill, and queer AF . All of them! Even the bottoms. To help you understand just how gay each of the female Disney villains is, though, we’ve done the hard deed of pitting them against each other. Here are the eight female Disney villains ranked them by Lesbianism:
Lady Tremaine, aka Cinderella’s evil stepmother, is the crème de la crème of straight people . I lied when I said all the villains were gay, so sue me! First off, Lady Tremaine named one of her daughters “Drizella,” which is very straight . She’s the textbook definition of a villain: shady dealings, squinting at things she dislikes, and fussing about her real children instead of Cinderella. Everyone knows that a good lesbian would accept her stepdaughter as her own! Unfortunately (or fortunately), Lady Tremaine is straight as an arrow.
Much like the next villain on the list, Yzma from “The Emporer’s New Groove” is a bit more of a gay icon than she is actually gay. She’s someone who appreciates throwing together a good look, and her eyelashes are beyond , but there’s nothing about her style that screams “ lesbian !” I would like to point out, however, that she’s got a hunky henchman (Kronk—not the hunkiest name, I know), but she spends no time checking him out! So, maybe that’s one point for the lez side, but he also could just not be her type. Whether or not she’s secretly into Kronk, we’ve put her pretty low on the list for no real distinguishing lesbian traits. Let’s call her bi-curious, though, because she’d do anything to get her way—even a woman if it came to that.
There’s something about Cruella Di Vil that makes us pause. Is she a lipstick lesbian ? Or does she just appreciate a good fur coat? It can be hard to tell with the villain, but that doesn’t make her any straighter. If anything, not being able to tell a woman’s sexuality is classic femme behavior. Let’s examine the evidence: She’s got serious road rage, and everybody knows that gays can’t drive. She knows how to make a dramatic entrance, meaning she craves attention at the normal lesbian magnitude. Unfortunately, while the evidence is compelling, it’s not conclusive. Cruella is certainly a gay icon, but she is not an outwardly obvious dyke .
In a past life, The Evil Queen was definitely a theater kid. That alone gives her some starting lesbian points because—let’s be honest—all theater kids are a little bit gay. Between the theatrics of literally changing costumes (A+ for that old-age makeup) and the way she dramatically closes her curtains, this queen really is a capital-Q Queen. The fact that she can’t stand a younger, newer princess on the spot is a bit hard to read, though. On one hand, older lesbians are all about helping acclimate the baby dykes to their new terrain. On the other hand, all lesbians secretly want to be the alpha. It’s hard to tell just where The Evil Queen ranks, but she’s way more into theatrics than she is girls.
Maleficient is scary and mean (which is probably why I’m attracted to her), but she’s able to harness that intimidating energy into a personality that reads much more Bette Porter than monster. She’s a boss, and she knows it. She sets her sights on something and follows through like a true badass dyke. Also, she pets her pet bird in such a way that I have a feeling this isn’t her first time stroking something. There’s nothing here that screams straight-up lesbian, but those horns, honey? They point to bisexuality — at least .
What can we say about the Queen of Hearts that points to her lesbianism? Well, just about everything. First of all, she’s a queen who’s not afraid to get her hands dirty, and she even rolls her sleeves up past her elbows at one point (no lesbian can resist a good sleeve roll). She’s also one of the only female Disney villains who doesn’t have stiletto nails , so she’s definitely in the know. Sure, she’s married to a man, but have you seen the King of Hearts? He’s a small man who is more than happy to let the Queen wear the pants. And, ironically, she probably would if queen rules allowed for it. Between her willingness to do things herself and her general look of non-amusement, she’s definitely one of the dykiest villains.
If I asked you to name a song from “Tangled” off the top of your head, I bet that you would name “Mother Knows Best.” Why? For a few reasons: First, it’s undoubtedly the best song in the whole movie. Second, it’s because Mother Gothel is iconic. She’s also gay, honey! Surprise! She can’t have kids of her own (interesting), so she adopts one instead! Okay, so it’s technically kidnapping, but still. Also, she locks Rapunzel away because she knows how awful men are. She’s trying to save her! Finally, she holds herself in a way that only a lesbian can: she’s got the hair, face, and body—and she knows it. She walks into the room knowing that all eyes are on her. If she was at the club, she’d have her pick of girls to take home. Mother Gothel is very much a lesbian, okay?
If you were reading through this list like “number one is definitely Ursula,” then, congrats! You were right. Because, let’s face it: there’s no one more dyke-y in the land of Disney than Miss Ursula. Where do we even begin? With the perfectly quaffed pixie? With the gym teacher chic physique? With her gait that makes it seem like she enters every room vagina—er, tentacles first ? Maybe with the fact that her character was directly inspired by drag legend Divine? Ursula’s got so much going on here that it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly makes her the gayest Disney villain, but it’s palpable. She’s a dyke, baby. A stone-cold (lipstick) butch .
While this list is extremely comprehensive, I understand that you may not agree with our placements. Maybe you think Lady Tremaine is gayer than we give her credit for (she’s not). Or, maybe you believe that the Queen of Hearts is dykier than Ursula (there are no wrong answers, but this one’s wrong). Whatever the case, let us know in the comments on how you would rank these eight boss Disney villains in terms of lesbianism.
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