Everlasting Asshole

Everlasting Asshole
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Frequently Asked Questions about Everlasting Embroidery
“ After pulling 2 jobs from my old embroiderer, I am so glad I found Greg at Everlasting Embroidery. ” in 9 reviews
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1. “I couldn’t keep track even if I tried. Because it’s not just a horniness thing. I get boners, even when there’s nothing sexual on my mind. No women around. It just happens. It’s not always connected to sex, so if my girlfriend ever catches me with one, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Could just be a random one.” — Tyler, 19
2. “Okay, to be clear, I’m going through a severe dry spell. Haven’t gotten laid in over a year. So whenever I see a girl, especially in the warmer months when a lot of skin is showing, I instantly get hard. Even if I don’t find the girl all that attractive. It’s like I have an everlasting boner.” — Anthony, 20
3. “Well, I wake up with a hard-on every morning. And I get one whenever I have to pee really bad. So it happens at least a few times a day — not counting when I watch porn or anything like that.” — Aaron, 25
4. “It depends on the context. Like if my wife is cuddling with me in her flannel pajamas, I don’t get hard. Not because of the clothing. Because I know she isn’t in the mood. But if she’s being playful and has that look in her eyes, then cuddling gets me rock hard. Basically, it depends on whether or not I think I’m actually going to get laid.” — Trevor, 24
5. “Depends on how much free time I have. If I get the chance to masturbate in the morning, then my cock cooperates for the day. If not, then it’s up and down all the time. Can’t control it.” — Adam, 26
6. “Two or three times a day for me. It’s not as extreme as some women would think.” — Kenneth, 27
7. “I get hard the second my girlfriend kisses me. She’s so gorgeous. That’s all it takes.” — Ethan, 28
8. “Oh, man, when I was much younger I would get them at least ten times per day. But now I’ve calmed down a lot. Maybe three or four times? I don’t pay that much attention.” — Hunger, 30
9. “Not as much as I used to. I mean, I have to take a goddamn pill before sex now. Not a manly feeling.” — Austin, 44
10. “All a girl has to do is smile at me and I get half a boner — if I already have a massive crush on her, I mean. Doesn’t take much if I’m already thinking about her naked on a nightly basis.” — Jason, 20
11. “If my girlfriend rubs up against my dick, I get hard. Even if she does it on accident. But, then again, sometimes my clothes rub on me the wrong way and the same thing happens. Any little touch has the potential to trigger it.” — Ian, 22
12. “My girlfriend and I used to be long distance, so whenever I saw her, I’d be hard for the entire weekend. But now that we live together, I can watch her get undressed without getting hard. I still find her attractive, though. I guess I’m just used to her. I think of it as a good thing.” — Miguel, 25
13. “It really doesn’t happen a lot. The internet desensitized me, I think.” — Tanner, 27
14. “Hell, I don’t know. At least once per day, because I wake up with morning wood.” — Mason, 24
15. “It depends on my girlfriend. If she’s in a frisky mood, putting on her lingerie and taking out the sex toys, I’ll obviously get hard. If she’s not in the mood for the day, I won’t be in the mood. Almost like we’re connected. It’s probably because my body knows I’m not getting any unless she’s willing to give it.” — Douglas, 28
Ari has absolutely no interest in visiting the island resort where traumatic memories are repressed. She would much rather deal with her sister’s death the old-fashioned way. Booze. Even though her gut warns her to stay home, visiting the island becomes inevitable—and more dangerous than she ever could have imagined.
Forget Her is the new must-read sci-fi thriller by novelist Holly Riordan that will keep you on the edge of your seat!
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tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10

1. Melancholy
2. Rise Up
3. Double A Batteries
4. “What the fuck?”
5. Eraserhead Protection Squad
6. “…Whomst?”
7. Mistakes Were Made (how the fuck did we get here...
8. Tsurugi Kei
9. This Cannot Be Good

After being beaten down and told he couldn’t be a hero, Izuku Midoriya decides that, no he can’t be a hero.
But, by law, he can’t really be a vigilante either. Can he?
Well, not without some outside help at least.
You know what they say about rock bottom?
Welcome to my new story! Be prepared for shitty writing, fucked up update schedules and more shitty writing!
Izuku knew from the young age of twelve that not all men were created equal. Well, he knew that long before twelve but that was when the fact really sunk in.
He was walking home from school with fresh burns and a bloody nose, at the time he had been living alone for a few months. His mother had been paying the rent and other expenses ever since she ran away with her new boyfriend to America, leaving Izuku to fend for himself in a world where he was already doomed for failure. All because of that one extra toe joint.
Izuku climbed the stairs to his apartment only to pause a few feet away from the door, eyes drawn to the piece of white paper hanging threateningly.
‘ Eviction Notice ’ it read. Izuku stood there, dumbfounded, yet not surprised. He knew all too well that it was only a matter of time before his mother stopped caring. Everyone did eventually, after they learned just how useless he truly was. He guessed Kacchan was right, he was nothing more than a worthless, quirkless Deku.
But maybe…maybe that was okay. Izuku sighed and turned back down the stairs, not even trying to enter the house knowing that the door would be locked.
He couldn’t remember how long he walked but before he knew it he was in a part of Musutafu he didn’t recognise and the sun had already set. He collapsed against the wall of an alley, the kind his mother used to warn him away from when he was little.
He leaned his head against the damp wall and sighed. He isn’t sure how long he just sat there in a pitiful trance, but he was eventually knocked back to reality when he heard heavy footsteps approaching from further down the alley.
A man, roughly six foot, sauntered down the dark path, a drunken sway to his steps. The man’s eyes found Izuku’s and his face bore a manic grin. The stranger pulled a knife from his back pocket and waved it threateningly in front of him.
Izuku slowly rose to his feet and began to back away, cautiously, not taking his eyes off of the looming threat before him. He bumped into something as he tried to exit the alley and he turned around to find yet another tall stranger wearing a similar manic expression to the other guy.
Izuku - now sandwiched between two weirdly beefy grown ass adults - is, frankly, scared shitless.
The two men seem to notice as much, but that doesn’t seem to deter them as they only smile wider. And if that isn’t creepy - and slightly pedo-y - then Izuku doesn’t know what is.
But luckily some strange, demented deity had apparently gotten enough enjoyment out of his shitty day as a figure in white jumped from one of the buildings, effectively taking out the guy with the knife and then pouncing on the man at the entrance of the alley.
Within the blink of an eye, both men are knocked out cold. Izuku turns to face his saviour as they reach into a pocket on their…costume? Izuku notes, now more clearly, that the person across from him is dressed in a white, flowy, long-sleeved crop top with a skin-tight black bodysuit underneath. They also have matching loose white shorts, a utility belt and black, knee-high combat boots. Pale hands with thick, fingerless black gloves tie up Izuku’s attempted assaulters with zip ties and then Izuku is standing before the hero (?) and staring at a red, white and yellow mask.
“Ya holdin’ up there, mate? They didn’t hurt you did they?”
“Apart from the remaining remnants of my pride, no.” And god , where did Izuku learn to talk like that . He opened his mouth to apologise but quickly shut it when the person started laughing.
“Well, that’s fair enough, but anyway! I’ve done my job here and I’ll let the police handle it from here, they should be here in a few minutes so I should skedaddle.” Just then Izuku heard the faint sound of sirens in the distance. That was when it finally clicked, he knew he had seen that mask somewhere before but he’d just assumed it was that of a hero’s. Now looking closer, Izuku remembers where exactly he had seen it before.
Not too long ago a news station had reported on a new vigilante that had started patrolling round the streets of Musutafu. A vigilante by the name of Arctic. The vigilante that was standing before him, getting ready to run from…
Arctic pulled out a grappling hook from their belt and pointed it at the building behind Izuku.
“Wait!” Izuku shouted as he grabbed onto Arctic’s waist as they began to retract the grappling hook. They let out a surprised squawk as they noticed the extra weight, but otherwise didn’t protest.
As they rose further up the building, Izuku looked down to see police cars pulling up on the street. He sighed with relief as his feet touched solid ground and detached himself from the vigilante’s waist, falling flat on his ass.
“Well, I didn’t know that me trying to run from the cops warranted a fucking tag along !” They shouted, disgruntled.
Izuku rose to his feet, electing to ignore Arctic’s rant as he peered over the edge of the building.
There, where he had been only moments before, were two police officers scanning the scene. That little run-in had been too close for his liking.
Arctic stood beside him and followed his gaze. They then hummed in understanding. “You a runaway or something?” They muttered.
“Sort of.” Izuku replied, carefully stepping away from the edge.
He turned his gaze to the night sky. It was a beautiful, clear night. The sky looked better from the top a building.
Izuku heard a sigh and suddenly felt a presence beside him.
“Got a place to stay?” Arctic asked with a controlled apathy that Izuku decided not to comment on.
“Not anymore…” Izuku murmured. Another sigh followed his statement.
“Just…follow me.” The vigilante commanded, whatever persona they had conjured now gone, leaving an odd vulnerability in its wake.
Izuku did as he was told and followed Arctic as they carefully led him across the rooftops.
They eventually came to a stop in front of a tall block of apartments. Arctic looked to the street below and then turned to Izuku. “This is my place. Now, you’ve got two options. One - you turn around, forget you saw me, and deal with your own shit. Two - you take up my offer and live with me, the place is insulated and has running water and electricity. It’s also completely abandoned, yet the government still supplies it with access to all the usual necessities ‘cause it was never fully registered. So, what do you say?”
Izuku looked to Arctic, this random stranger who had a reputation amongst heroes, civilians and villains alike for being ruthless and efficient in their takedowns. He then turned to this weirdly convenient apartment building, with luxuries that he hasn’t had since his mother left. He then turns his gaze out to the street, weighs the pros and cons and inevitably decides fuck it.
“Well I’d be fucking stupid to say no, so yeah, sure. Fuck my life.”
And even from behind the mask, Izuku could tell Arctic was grinning.
( The world wouldn’t know what hit it. )
( Neither would the two who, once, stood upon a roof, ready to change society as they knew it. )
Because, death may be a constant threat. But life wouldn’t be worth living without a little danger.

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