European Guys Vs American Guys

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European Guys Vs American Guys
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Home Dating European vs American Men: Here Are The True Dating Differences
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Disclaimer: These opinions are based on personal experiences and research, so they’re not 100% accurate for everyone. 
Dating culture is as varied and complex as the number of people living on Earth. Everyone’s standards, requirements, wants, and needs differ, and they change throughout our lives. However, when you date someone from another country or continent, you may notice cultural differences in dating patterns. Here are some differences between dating in America and dating in Europe:
In the United States, people (especially Millennials) date. They go from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “being exclusive.” American men are typically goal-oriented. The outcome that they’re looking for can range from a hookup to a serious relationship, but they have a specific agenda from the start.
In contrast, “ dating” isn’t that popular in Europe. People hang out as friends, often in group settings, and that’s how romantic relationships develop. European men aren’t as goal-focused as their American counterparts, so they let the relationship develop organically. In fact, the boyfriend/girlfriend labels pop up naturally, without much discussion. Both parties just know that they’re together .
American men are also more likely to use online dating than European men are. This is likely because they’re clear about what type of encounter or relationship they’re looking for.
In Europe, as children grow up, there’s barely any separation of the sexes. There’s also no definite “pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys” norm, which allows them to express themselves and spend time with whomever they please. So when it comes to looking for a partner, this is why men from Europe end up in relationships with their friends or people they met through mutual acquaintances. 
In the United States, however, people rarely date people they’ve been friends with for a long time. This is because communities in the States are often larger than European ones, so it’s harder to be close with so many people. As a result, American men tend to seek out people they don’t know for relationships. 
More often than not, American men are sure of themselves so it’s easier for them to make the first move when approaching women. They have their go-to pick-up lines ready, and they know how to get what they want. But their European counterparts aren’t as outgoing. European men are laid-back, and they don’t always have the best “game,” but when they get comfortable with someone, they’re able to form deep connections. 
The confidence that American men emit also translates to their desire to have sex relatively early in a relationship. Since they’re goal-oriented, they often see sex as the number-one milestone in the dating process. On the other hand, European men generally aren’t keen on crossing that border early on — they usually prefer to develop an emotional connection before a physical one. However, there are always exceptions to the rule.
No matter which continent you’re from, dating is an individual experience. Everybody sees it differently, so the key is to find someone who understands your idea of what dating should look like. At the end of the day, even though it’s important to be aware of cultural differences, your connection with your date or partner matters more.
Featured image via Jep Gambardella on Pexels
It’s not true that people in the United States don’t date friends, or that we are gender segregated throughout childhood. Six boys came to my sixth birthday party, and I had close male friends throughout my childhood that I spent much one-on-one time with. It’s quite common for high school and college friends to hang out in groups and date different members of the group. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, the “most American” city. My parents and my friends’ parents were all college educated and/or immigrants from Eastern Europe/Asia/Latin America. I did see more gender segregation among less educated and low-income people. At any rate, people still date friends into their 20s and 30s, but it is more dangerous if things end badly because people become more dependent on their friends, especially if they move away from family as adults. (Eg, many young Chicagoans move to the coasts in their 20s.) The average American moves five times. The push for sex is problematic, however. But it is also a marker for someone who isn’t serious or doesn’t have much success with the opposite sex. So just take a pass on that person and find someone better.
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By
Marisa DeMarco ,
March 27th 2015



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Although I have spent the last 16 years in two long-term relationships with an American and an Italian, there have been intermittent periods of dating in two international metropolises—New York and Rome. I have also experienced the grey area of accepting dates from Europeans living in America, that provided the best of both worlds. Many stories of relocation have common threads in which people from all walks of life leave their childhood home and start anew in a big city for personal and professional goals and fulfillment. This can be true from someone who has picked up and taken off from the American Midwest or migrated from southern to central Italy. However, there are some unique, funny, cultural, and outright strange differences that really impact the experience of courtship from both sides of the Atlantic. This is certainly not meant to generalize as each person and situation is case-by-case sensitive, but rather it’s an account from my personal experiences and those of dear friends who have shared theirs, too. The next time a date is offered and accepted, here are some things to consider…
European men take great pride in dressing up and being well-groomed for a date. They select their clothes for the fit and neutral color palette and appreciate a warm smile at first glance based upon their effort and attractiveness.
American men are more casual and will show up wearing anything ranging from their favorite band’s tee-shirt from 1999 or a pair of loose jeans and a polo. Only if coming from work, perhaps a suit without the tie. They are more concerned about comfort yet will maybe joke that they are too dressed down.
European men have a strong sense of cultural and historic pride. A first date may be to stroll along the cobblestone streets on a Saturday afternoon while recounting stories of the country’s past—spanning back thousands of years while perhaps reciting a famous citation from an opera or poet. They also value the woman’s insights and impressions of her surroundings.
American men have a strong sense of degrees earned and career related pride. A first date may be to meet up for drinks or a mid-week dinner and reciprocally discuss university studies, internships, promotions, and the workday.
European men are charming with their words. This is because they’ve had centuries to practice the art of making a woman feel beautiful, desired, and adored—and that’s just on the first date. However, be aware. It’s not the first nor is it the last these affections come out of their mouths and ring into the ears of their love interest (or said to other women).
American men are sweet yet more reserved with the outpouring of compliments. They may point out something that they like about what a woman’s wearing or enjoyed something that she said. If they make her laugh, they are working hard to win her over.
Although European men value a woman’s strength and intelligence, they want to be caring and protective of her during the date. Most men will be insulted or put off if she reaches for the check, offers to split it in half, or emasculates him by overtly shooting down what he has planned for their enjoyment together. It’s his goal to create a beautiful experience and initiate the courtship. In return, he sincerely wants to be met half way with simple kindness and attentiveness.
Although American men also value a woman’s strength, intelligence, and have the natural inclination to be caring and protective of her, they tend to be more passive if a woman reaches for the check or offers to pay half. With women making equal or even more money, a power struggle or blurred lines can occur anywhere from making plans, initiating communication, and determining the direction of the courtship.
European men love the chase. From boyhood they have learned to convince, persuade, hunt, negotiate, and develop skills of being persistent and clever—as passed on from their fathers, grandfathers, and so on. Women who gently resist, make them work to win over her heart, and present a playful challenge will make him feel successful that he has conquered the heart of his treasure.
American men tend to be more direct, straight talking, and relaxed. If they want to court a woman, they will let her know through actions and words without much fuss, but will still hold her to standards of being too willing and eager to give to him without rightfully earning her affection.
6.) The beauty of doing something vs. the beauty of doing a bit of everything.

European men may think up interesting, stimulating, and amusing dates but it tends to be one outing or activity per meeting. This is because Sunday lunch can last for four hours followed by a walk. Going dancing means you start the night at 11:00 p.m. and dance at a locale until 4:00 a.m.
American men are thoughtful in their planning, yet also have spontaneity to see how the date is progressing. It may start out as a Sunday brunch and if all goes well, an early evening movie at the theatre, followed by catching a bite and a drink afterwards.
Europe is known for its healthier and farm fresh cuisines, active lifestyle of frequent walks around the town or city square, along with valuing the importance of taking a daily dose of fresh air. However, smoking is still quite predominant within many countries. A “dream man” may show up, but every so often takes out his pack. However, a glass of wine is sipped and enjoyed for its flavor and accompaniment to conversation or the meal, not for further recreation.
America is known for it’s heavier cuisine and fast food culture along with a more sedentary lifestyle in the office or at home. Yet there is less interest in smoking as people choose to protect this aspect of their health. Only rarely will a “dream man” show up with a pack and if he does, he may even go as far to conceal it to eliminate judgment or a long lecture. However, anywhere from a glass to four of alcohol may be enjoyed during the course of dinner along with some under-the-influence behaviors.
European men will gaze at a woman of interest until she senses it. He will not back down until their eyes meet as he’s determined to catch her attention. During courtship, a language of the eyes develops as looks, stares, and glances speak volumes of appreciation, interest, flirtation, and comfort.
American men will wait for a woman to stare at him first and give him the go-ahead to approach once their eyes have met. During courtship, he relies more on gestures and words rather than eye contact to demonstrate his affection.
European men are hot blooded and passionate about life, love, politics, economy, family, sports, and their interests. They are more emotive and expressive yet retain their masculinity. However, when they want to cherish and pleasure their woman, they will treat her with delicate care; taking the time to enjoy intimate moments spent together without rush because it’s meant to be savored.
American men have more of a cool reserve that certainly illustrates strong work ethnic, intelligence and interest in both world concerns and academic education, along with making time for hobbies. However, they express themselves conversationally and with more tranquility. However, when they want to be intimate with a woman, they tend to speed up the process from 0-60 and within a blink of an eye, it’s over.
European men like to live in the moment. They of course have work and familial obligations that require advanced organization, but they value letting their life’s process unfold day by day. If they feel good in the presence of their woman, they will come back for more and once they decide to commit they won’t let her go. However, there is a lot of external factors regarding economic crisis and strong family ties that impedes the path of marriage sooner rather than later.
American men are more future oriented and value organization, hard work, and planning to reach both short and long term goals. If they feel good in the presence of their woman, they tend to commit and marry sooner because they see the value of wanting her to share life together side by side. They also strike more of a balance between family and their personal lives.
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So far on my adventure in Europe, I have tried vegan gelato, wine straight from the heart of Chianti, and some delicious Italian men. Yes I have fully embraced my Lizzie McGuire moment and allowed myself to be swept away by some pretty enchanting Casanovas and you know what? I’m not sure if I want to go back to America anymore! Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being an American guy but based on my experiences abroad I do have to say that the grass is greener on the other side. Here’s just a few reasons why American guys have some serious competition in the dating world. 
Just because we don’t have Queens in America, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be treated like a Princess! Never in my life have I met an American guy who treats me like the men in Europe and I can attribute this to the differences in our two cultures. Men in America and men in Europe are both raised very differently, and being a total gentleman is expected in the European dating game. Often times upon visiting the states, European men are astonished by the ways that American men ‘pick up’ women and the kind of laissez-faire romance that we’re used to doesn’t fly over seas. In order to pursue someone in Europe, you have to charm her with your manners and show her that your mother raised you to treat a lady with chivalry and courtesy. Best part is, these guys don’t just pull out all of the stops to get something sexual in return. This is because European children are raised with stronger family values and expectations than children are in America, meaning they are taught to acknowledge the needs of others before serving their own. 
When they tell you that Europeans dress to impress, they mean it. There is a societal expectation within most European cultures to look your best at all times and lucky for us ladies, this includes the men! European men care about fashion and looking polished for every occasion and will even go above and beyond by doing things that American men would never even dream of doing, like getting their eyebrows waxed. Being put together doesn’t emasculate a man in Europe, it elevates them to a higher status of masculinity. 
This one goes without a lot of explanation but an accent can make something as pedestrian reading a grocery list instantly sexy. English, French, Italian, Dutch, we don’t care just say our names and we will melt like Belgian chocolate on a hot day.
Unlike American guys, European men aren’t raised on the same porn-crazed, hookup expectations that we have sadly become accustomed to. Sexual education is taught extremely differently in Europe than it is in America and honest communication is not see as taboo. European guys are much more likely to be honest with how they feel in a relationship and they don’t have the same qualms about commitment that we see in the states. This goes along with the way that they are raised but manners and respect are very important to European men and they will don’t need to play games to see if a girl is interested. They keep it simple, the way it should be 
They Don’t Have The Same Standards of Beauty
One of the best parts about dating European men is that European men don’t hold you to the same standards of beauty that we see in the United States. Sure, we’ve all seen waifish European women strutting the runways but European men understand that not every girl looks like a model from a magazine. They realize that some women have curves, a flat butt, acne on their periods, but overall are more interested in dating a real girl as opposed to some porn fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, European men still like a woman who is put together but in Europe with the way that the media portrays the modern woman, they are used to seeing beauty in a much less superficial manner than we are. 
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I just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, and let me tell you, it truly was the most magical, amazing experience of my entire life. The French countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the world.
You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. Well, think again! European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you are. They really know how to make a woman feel special over there. Unlike the so-called men here in the States, European men know how to treat a woman right.
For one thing, European men aren't afraid to come up and talk to you. And they know how to start slow, with a nice cup of Italian espresso or a long walk on some historic street. They know the places you can't find in any tourist guide. They know the whole history of the cities in which they live—who the fountains are named after, who the statues are.
I remember one unforgettable night in Athens, I sat and listened to a Greek sailor for hours as he told me about the countless men who fought over Helen back in ancient times. Afterward, he told me he loved his homeland even more now that he'd seen it through my eyes. I ask you, would an American man ever say something as deep and beautiful as that?
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