Euphemisms For Vagina
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Euphemisms For Vagina
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There are so many pet names we give our vagina (and its environs) that it's often hard to know if a woman is talking about her vulva or her miniature poodle. I'm not talking about the grown-up slang we like to throw out to make each other blush.
Oct 27, 2014, 03:02 PM EDT | Updated Dec 27, 2014
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Poonie, private area or . . . My Little Pony enthusiast?
Tweenie, private area or . . . the middle part of a Twinkie?
Remember folks, it's a world full of mystery. Don't let the proper terms for your pubic parts be one of them.
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by Nicole Leigh Shaw for In the Powder Room
There are so many pet names we give our vagina (and its environs) that it's often hard to know if a woman is talking about her vulva or her miniature poodle. I'm not talking about the grown-up slang we like to throw out to make each other blush. I mean the infantilizing names for parts that only come with two X chromosomes.
I blame parents. Kids don't come with a cutesy vocabulary already installed. It takes an adult to teach a child to refer to her vulva as her "la-loo." And I'll tell you what, I bet that girls who think their private area doubles as a name for a Lalaloopsy doll are more likely to accept candy from strangers in windowless vans.
But that sounds judgy. Because it is. I don't like fake names for private parts. I'm a grown woman. I can say clitoris without giggling (usually). I use the correct terms for vaginal bits. I think you should, too. At least at first. Start with vagina, let the schoolyard bring your kid around to "foo-foo" the same way it will inform her that the Tooth Fairy is not real and that Justin Bieber is a Canadian. Side note: Justin Beaver is a great nickname for a vagina.
There is one clinical term I can't get behind. (PUN ALERT.) Buttocks. Buttocks is too silly a word to begin with. It holds equal ground with all the other terms -- buns, bottom, behind, booty, even the muscular gluteus maximus -- are no less laughable.
In the meantime, until the world can come up with a name for "butt" that imparts the appropriate level of gravity for an area that pushes out solid waste from our digestive system, let's try to get a handle on saying "labia" aloud. Because when you say things like "my bitsy," I'll always think you're talking about your grandmother.
Here are some other popular nicknames that confuse me every. damn. time:
Originally published In the Powder Room . Follow In the Powder Room on Facebook and Twitter .
Nicole Leigh Shaw blogs at www.nicoleleighshaw.com . Follow her on Facebook and Twitter .
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A linguist unpacks the English languageâs squirmy repertoire of vagina slang.
âCall it sushi . Another woman's sushi ."
Ten points for anyone who can clock this iconic TV quote, immortalizing just one of hundreds of vagina euphemisms that English-speaking society has concocted to avoid uttering the actual word. (For the answer, youâll just have to keep reading.)
Hundreds of slang terms for one single body part might seem excessive (after all, how many euphemisms can you think of for, say, your earlobe?), but considering the innate taboo of human genitalia , it makes sense that weâd come up with so many nicknames, metaphors, and slang terms for it, and presumably people have been doing so since our ancestors first opened their mouths and started chatting.
There exists an actual record of this: In 2013, a British slang lexicographer named Jonathon Green published the single most exhaustive catalog of euphemisms for the vagina ever assembled. Green and his team of researchers unsheathed hundreds of vagina terms dating back centuries â ranging from classics like âbeaverâ and âsnatch boxâ to the more flamboyant âcarnal mantrap,â âringerangeroo,â âmossy doughnut,â and âdry-mouthed widowâ â before organizing them on a nifty NSFW timeline .
Whether itâs out of shame, humor, sexiness, or a combination of the three, we English speakers will take any excuse to avoid referring to vulvas and vaginas by their most straightforward labels⊠and evidently, we always have. Even the very first âprivate partâ terms we learn as children are euphemistic: pet names like âhoo hoo,â âgi-gi,â and âtootieâ were some of the code words I heard growing up in the â90s, in addition to dessert and botanical-themed terms like âflower,â âcookie,â and âhoney pot.â Though doctors agree that using accurate genitalia terms â helps children develop a healthy, more positive body image ,â and countless articles have been published over the past 25 years encouraging parents not to be so squeamish, puritanism and patriarchy run deep, and terms like âvagina,â âvulva,â and âlabiaâ are still not quite normalized (in fact, children sometimes get in trouble for using direct language like this at school).
With the emergence of pop culture and the internet , even more vagina euphemisms have exploded onto our vocabularies. Sex and the City gave us âsushiâ (10 points for everyone); Superbad popularized the ever-so-blunt âVADGEâ; Borat put the exotic and vaguely edible-sounding âvagineâ on the map. Just a cursory search of vagina slang in the Urban Thesaurus produced so many cringe-inducing vagina nicknames (from âwhisker biscuitâ to âlady caveâ to âvelvet buzzsawâ??), merely scrolling through them rendered me cross-eyed. Earlier this year, a TikTok went viral for describing the difference between women who have âinniesâ and âoutiesâ (the latter referring to vulvas with inner labia that extend past the outer labia). The videoâs 20-something speaker commented on how sheâd always felt ashamed of having an âoutie,â growing up with unflattering, fast food-themed genitalia slang like âburger,â âbeef sandwich,â and âmeat wallet.â âEvery panini is beautiful,â she told the lens, cheekily, adding, âIâve only ever had compliments on my lil Arbyâs roast beef.â
Now, when Green compiled his genitalia slang timeline, it wasnât just for giggles â he was aiming to identify what our history of vagina terms might reveal about our cultural attitudes toward bodies and sex in general. Perhaps the starkest pattern he spotted was how consistent, and how perturbing, the themes of our genitalia euphemisms have remained over the decades. As Green told the press shortly after his study was published, âThe penis is often going to be some kind of weapon, the vagina some kind of narrow passage [âbutcher knife,â âsword,â âpocket rocket,â etc.], intercourse some way of saying âman hits woman.ââ
In 2019, I published a book about sex, gender, and language called Wordslut , and during my research, I spoke about the relationship between genitalia slang and feminism with Lal Zimman, a sociocultural linguist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. âOverall itâs really clear that the way we talk about genitals is a super concentrated representation of how we think about sex and gender,â Zimman told me. âThe research that people have done on heteronormative gender naming really shows that our worst cultural values are reflected in the ways we talk about genitals. Like penises are always weapons that exist for penetrating, sex is always violence, and women and vaginas are passive and absence, just a place to put a penis.â
The language used to describe vaginas in TV shows and movies plays a profound role in reinforcing these âvalues.â Actually, one of my favorite feminist language stories to tell (we all need one, donât we?), detailing the origins of the term âvajayjay,â takes place on the set of the hit T.V. series Greyâs Anatomy . According to an interview with the showâs creator , the legendary Shonda Rhimes, it was about 15 years ago when an early episode featured the word âpenisâ 32 times in its script. Thatâs a lot of penises, but since this was a show about anatomy and all, nobody flinched. Then, in the same episode, the writers tried to work âvaginaâ into the text just twice. Again, this was a medical show about human bodies. But suddenly, network higher-ups were squirming. The word âvagina,â as it happened, made the (mostly male) TV overlords nervous.
It was around this time when Shonda Rhimes heard an assistant use the word âvajayjayâ on set, and to deal with the whole âvaginaâ drama, this cutesy alternative was written onto the show. Instantly, America fell in love with it. Soon, everyone had worked âvajayjayâ into their vocabularies: gynecologists, Oprah Winfrey, and (Iâm displeased to report) my own high school health class teacher.
Some of why people appreciated âvajayjayâ was that, unlike so many other vagina slang terms, this one was female-invented and felt like it belonged to women. Plus, the sound of the word was friendlier than âvaginaâ (and certainly friendlier than âtwatâ and similarly vulgar alternatives). That repetition of âjay-jayâ is reminiscent of baby language, like âgoo-goo ga-ga.â It made it sound cuter and more welcoming ââitâ being both the word itself and the general concept of female sexuality, which has a long history of censorship, linguistic and otherwise.
At the same time, not everyone was totally on board with precious, adorable âvajayjayâ ( Rhimes herself was salty that they had to come up with it in the first place). After all, why must the idea of female sexuality only be palatable when itâs branded as cute? Not to mention, technically, the vagina is just the part of the vulva connecting the uterus to the outside world â the canal itself. The âplace to put a penis.â Nicknames from âvajayjayâ to âsushiâ to âvadgeâ certainly sound catchy for television, but ultimately, even innocent-seeming slang terms for the vulva can perpetuate taboo, shame, straight-up confusion, and problematic misinformation about gender and genitalia.
How we talk about our bodies is a deeply personal choice that we often take for granted, and the truth is that if one decides that âvajayjayâ or âhoney potâ donât really represent sex or their bodies as they experience them, then they donât have to use this terminology just because taught us to. Our language can be as personal and customizable as our bodies themselves, and we can come up with our own entirely new terms if we so desire. A few years ago, I asked a bunch of my female friends if they could rename their equipment anything they wanted, what would it be? Their responses ranged from silly to saucy, my favorites including âgalaxyâ (vulvas are intricate and otherworldly, after all) and âVCVC,â which stands for the delightfully comprehensive phrase vaginal-cliteral-vulval complex .
Of course, one cannot expect the complete, overnight dissolution of our existing vocabulary of problematic vagina slang. But Iâm into the idea of inviting women and genderqueer folks to name their bodies on their own terms, regardless of what TV shows, porn, or even doctors tell them to say. For example, if youâve always secretly hated the slippery phono-symbolism and feline implications of the word âpussy,â maybe try coming up with a word that sounds bolder and stronger. Have fun with it. (Tumblr has long since provided safer spaces for queer folks in particular to experiment with and share inclusive genitalia slang.) We could start by using our words of choice just with sexual partners, then move on to using them with our friends, then bring them to the internet, and eventually, who knows? Maybe, little by little, the intention behind them will sink in, until one day, we wonât feel cringed-out by vagina euphemisms (or our bodies in general) at all.
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