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Why an Eternal Perspective Changes Everything



We’re told that we are aliens and strangers in this world, and should be longing for a better country (Hebrews 11:13-16). However, that better country isn’t up in the clouds—it’s down on the New Earth.




Our needs as Christ followers right now are the same as they are in times of ease, plenty, and comfort. But suffering and difficulty can make our calling and purpose much clearer. Puritan Thomas Watson said, “God takes away the world, that the heart may cleave more to Him in sincerity.” Let’s not waste this difficult season, but instead use it to study and learn and grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior (2 Peter 3:18).




Throughout the ages, Heaven has played a dominant role in the thoughts and lives of God’s people. Heaven is the North Star by which countless Christians have navigated their lives. But have you noticed? Heaven today has largely fallen off our radar screens.





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Having an eternal perspective is in many ways the key to living a true Christ-following life. Scripture says in 2 Corinthians 4:18 , “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (NIV). If we let this reality sink in, it will forever change the way we think and live.
In our ministry, we encourage believers to look at life differently—like Elisha’s servant whose eyes were opened so he could see the angels surrounding and protecting them (2 Kings 6 ). It wasn’t that suddenly those angels were there. They were there all along. He finally had the eyes to actually see the invisible realities.
I’m not saying that we’re going to be seeing angels and demons if we have an eternal perspective! What I am saying is we need to ask God to open our eyes to what’s at stake—to the unseen world and the reality of Heaven, our eternal destination. 
Most of us see no further than the horizons of this world. To correct our shortsightedness, God prescribes a vision correction that allows us to look through the lens of eternity. Suddenly we realize this present life is but a brief window of opportunity to invest in what will last for eternity.
Knowing that this present world will end and be resurrected into new heavens and a New Earth should profoundly affect our daily behavior. “...You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God. . . . In keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him” ( 2 Peter 3:11-14, NIV ).
If we understand what “a new heaven and a new earth” means, we’ll look forward to it. (And if we’re not looking forward to it, we must not yet understand it.) Anticipating our homecoming will motivate us to live spotless lives here and now.
Joni Eareckson Tada writes in Heaven: Your Real Home ,
When a Christian realizes his citizenship is in heaven, he begins acting as a responsible citizen of earth. He invests wisely in relationships because he knows they’re eternal. His conversations, goals and motives become pure and honest because he realizes these will have a bearing on everlasting reward. …He gives generously of time, money, and talent because he’s laying up treasure for eternity. He spreads the good news of Christ because he longs to fill heaven’s ranks with his friends and neighbors. All this serves the pilgrim well not only in heaven, but on earth; for it serves everyone around him.
When we view today in light of the long tomorrow, the little choices become tremendously important. Whether I read my Bible today, pray, go to church, trust Christ through suffering, share my faith, and give my money—actions graciously empowered not by my flesh but by His Spirit—is of eternal consequence, not only for other souls, but for mine.
After all, what will last forever? God. God’s Word. People. Spending time in God’s Word and investing in people will pay off in eternity and bring me happiness and perspective now. This life need not be wasted. In small and often unnoticed acts of service to Christ, we can invest this life in eternity, where today’s faithfulness will forever pay rich dividends.
Not only will an eternal perspective change our actions, it will also change our attitudes. Living with eternity in mind will infuse us with a joy and purpose that can sustain us in daily life, even as we face hard things. Recognizing our future life on a resurrected Earth can help empower us to stick with a difficult marriage, to persevere in the hard task of caring for an ailing parent or child, or to stay with a demanding job. Moses stayed faithful to God because “he was looking ahead to his reward” ( Hebrews 11:26 ).
Christ-centered righteous living today is directly affected by knowing where we’re going and what rewards we’ll receive there for serving Christ. After all, if we really believe we’re going to live forever in a realm where Christ is the center who brings us great joy, and that righteous living will mean happiness for all, why wouldn’t we choose to get a head start on Heaven through Christ-centered righteous living now? Do we really want to miss out on the true happiness that Jesus offers us here and for all of eternity?
Father, you tell us not to fix our eyes on popular culture, not on fleeting accomplishments and wealth, but upon what is eternal, what will still matter a billion years from now. Give us the eyes of faith, and remind us to focus on you, our soon-returning Savior, and on eternity with you that awaits us.  
Browse more resources on the topic of Heaven, and see Randy’s related books , including Heaven .
Randy Alcorn ( @randyalcorn ) is the author of fifty-some books and the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries . 
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However, we’re here to serve everyone without cost, so please don’t feel obligated to give to us. Jesus said, “Freely you have received, freely give” ( Matt. 10:8 ). It’s our privilege and joy to share freely what God has so graciously given us.


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I updated this Article to be more resourceful – I explain a little about Collars in general, how they are used, why they are used and also my personal experience with the concept and how I use them.
But in general, there is no real protocol, no real rules, and no way how ‘everybody does it’ – so take the things I explain here as inspiration and suggestions.
I also explain in the end why collars can be very important – if you choose to use them that way.
In the most basic form a BDSM collar is usually a necklace out of leather or metal with an O-Ring in it.
They are used as status symbols and meaningful jewelry like chockers and earrings – their power comes from psychology and the meaning the parties invest in them. That’s why it can be a big deal like a marriage proposal or commitment.
Collars are often a status symbol in relationships or on Events.
Good question – I personally think it is because there is precedent in slavery and it gives a wide range of possibilities without taking a lot of mobility away. Handcuffs or chains can be very restricting which is nice for play but not ideal for a normal working day.
It is also totally normal that we see people with necklaces and depending on the options you chose, you will be able to let your submissive wear it all the time without getting everybody suspicious.
It can be emotionally very powerful to have a reminder of your Dominant all day around your neck.
But there are other options if you are not interested in a collar – I have a whole section on that at the end of this article.
Materials can vary in a wide range and are not set in stone.
The ‘default’ is either leather (as you see in the picture above) or stainless steel. But I also did see collars in Gold, Silver, Bronze/Messing, Silk, and other fabrics.
Often but not always the material signifies some sort of symbol like how long the Submissive is in Service or what status she has in a relationship.
Some submissives, however, own their own collar just to show they are submissive when they visit play parties.
There is no real protocol on this – if you want one you can just get one in the next online store from the Internet. That said I like to list some things I heard or experienced myself and found interesting.
There are some Regions in the USA & Europe where it is common that the Submissive has to ask for her collar. In these circles, it is seen as part of a ritual and the submissive has to demonstrate that she wants to lose her freedom to the Dominant.
Often this involves the Dominant not giving a collar to a submissive until she asks a different number of times and/or there are some pre-requisite to earning the collar. In these Cases, the Dominant in question gives certain Tasks or Rules the submissive has to follow for a set amount of time.
A collar Trial is like an introduction and in 2 cases I know of a semi-public event.
In the Trial the Submissives have to accomplish multiple tasks successfully and at the end, they are ‘allowed’ to wear a collar. I know of one group that did this on a monthly basis and the winner got the right to be the Primary Submissive for the following month (with certain perks) and obligations for the group.
One of the most common things I believe is the Collar ceremony. It gives the decision gravity and can be a nice and special occasion especially for stable relationships. A lot of couples take this as a more important date then their wedding day and use it to celebrate their kinky side.
I personally did experience some collar ceremonies myself and had the fortune to plan some myself. They are very special occasions and can be a highpoint of the relationship.
This is my own way to differentiate the collars that different people are using – As there are no real rules around collaring these definitions are for understanding purposes only and you can not assume if somebody uses a similar name they mean the exact same thing!
Most Important information: Not every collar means the same! The definition is always up for the parties involved. Only they can tell you what a collar in question means! If you find yourself on a play party or munch don’t assume you know anything about a collar or the relationship!
A lot of people and a lot of submissives are having different collars because of different purposes. But to explain what collaring means to me personally and to bring some structure into it I need to make clear what types of collars there are and how they are different.
A Collar that is worn for the purpose of play, to signify a submissive status and to facilitate play like keeping a submissive on a leash. These Collars are usually very prominent and visible. Most of the time they are either black leather or steel. They are just worn for the evening or the scene and to have fun with them for play.
A Collar that is worn to show a submissive status, like the play collar more to symbolize the submissive status. A lot of dominants give these out after a couple of weeks/months of training as a symbol of trust or to show their affection.
These are collars that you normally can wear anytime, I’m not demeaning their use or symbolism and I used them often with play partners. [NG] for instance had her own Play Collar which she had to wear when she was with us. I also often suggest to newer submissives to get something that reminds them of their submissive status in their daily life. They don’t have the meaning and purpose of a “real” Collar, but they are still a nice aspect in play.
Usually made from something temporary like leather or a cheap metal, It can be just for home or also worn outside. It signifies something for both parties about their relationship. It is like a kinky version of a friendship sign. Training Collars are for the time a Submissive is Trained and when she learns how to behave and to react.
It is also for the time she and her Dominant is getting to know each other in every way.
Most of them are made from high-quality metal, they are often engraved and wearable at all times.
These Collars are for Submissives that are really dedicated and invested a lot of time in their submission.
Almost always there is a relationship that goes along with them and they have a deep meaning for the parties involved.
I personally don’t like quick things and with collars, it is the same way. If you expect a Collar after I played with someone 2-3 times I have to disappoint you for quite a while.
I consider a “Training Collar” after around 6 Months and the submissive has to be dedicated and willing to work on herself and our relationship.
A Training Collar is nothing my submissive wears permanently but for the time around at home. It’s a promise of openness and honesty. It signifies that my submissive understands her obligations, her place in the world with me and the basic definition of what I call a relationship. Its a promise of her to care for me and a promise on my side to guide and protect her. It comes with the promise that I will be always there to help even after the relationship ends in most cases.
Don’t let the description fool you – this is a big honor (in my personal opinion) and there is a ceremony involved giving this collar. I don’t give them out like “tic tac’s” and the occasions are very special and rare.
Submissives that have that collar can call me in the middle of the night and I answer, they can stand before my door and get a place to sleep and a warm meal, there is very little they can not demand within reason.
A Training Collar also requires a bare minimum of Sexual & BDSM knowledge and that the submissive goes to her absolute limits with me. She has to show that she is willing to go against her fears and against her own interest in play.
Collaring someone with a Training Collar is a big deal for me – it means I trust that Submissive, I can be myself around her, I can and even feel obligated to share my inner-thinking and the private part of my life with her as long as she is in my service and often beyond that.
It is somebody I can share my feelings with and maybe I don’t ‘love’ that person like my wife, but I always have deep and fundamental admiration and respect for her.
In some strange way, it is my way of showing that there is an understanding that I trust her so much that I open up in a way she can harm & hurt me. If I collar somebody I am not guarded anymore and I show my feelings.
All this comes obviously also with a lot of responsibility for the Submissive.
Made from high-quality metal, engraved, wearable at all times. It symbolizes unity and my deepest trust in that person. Such a submissive has fully understood what I expect from her in play and life, she embraces her submission and our relationship as part of her way to happiness. She has understood and shown over time that she can be trusted beyond all doubt and is invested in the well being of the people around herself and me.
Earning an Eternity Collar with me has no time limit, if it costs some years that’s totally fine with me and it should be fine with her. It is something very special that evolves out of our relationship and I only do it with very important people in my life.
It is not always a Collar that I use. With [C] for instance, it was first a necklace and today, of course, it is her wedding ring. It has the time of our wedding day engraved (in a special format) and is the symbol of our unity. That said my beloved [C] has also other accessories that are linked to her submission and devotion to our relationship.
As of this writing, our Submissive has also a Trainings Collar that she earned over the last year. It symbolizes her service for us when she is at home or on Events. It means a big deal to us and to her that she is allowed to wear it and we all enjoy that she does.
I actually collared only 3 Submissives in my life with a meaningful collar and in retrospect, I am very conservative and meaningful in that regard.
Getting a collar is also only half of the equation, I make a big point these days of keeping it – that means that submissives can lose it if they don’t hold up their end of the bargain. Expectations are not just for fun but for reaching them.
One day in the future we hope that our Submissive will earn a version that she can wear when she is with friends or on her job. And maybe we are all so lucky that we feel a permanent collar is a good way to symbolize our growing relationship.
I also want to mention three other Submissives I had:
Let´s start with [JP] that got a Training Collar from me – a fact I feel very problematic about in today’s time. On one side I was sure I wanted to open up and make a promise at that time and I will stand by it even if it is overshadowed of her behavior – on the other side I don’t know if I should regret doing it…
In any way, I feel very fortunate that I discharged her from my services before we moved on.
Although never officially collared I would have done it in a heartbeat at the time if I already had understood the concept.
Submissive [MR] did teach me so much about women and in a way love at a time I understood nothing compared to today and she didn’t even do that on purpose… I’m not sure she would have accepted it but she did fulfill my personal requirements for the time we played together.
Submissive [SD] was and still is such a great friend and she had definitely deserved to be Collared.
Her insight in her mind and also the revelations I had with her are Priceless and I do think she would have accepted it.
There is no worldwide accepted Protocol. That said, most people that invest in the mental idea get a lot out of some kind of test and private ceremony.
To me personally, a collar means that the submissive is bound into service to me as her Dominant and that I am bound to use, train and protect the Submissive.
Yes, there are – some Submissives are unable to wear a prominent looking collar in public, so there are discrete options like detailed or delicate jewelry. There are also totally different ways to represent the same meaning of a collar. A ring, a special chain around the ankle or something similar is possible – just play with your imagination and you will see it is easy to find little alternatives.
As I stated numerous times in this Article there are no general rules about collars so my advice for this is to tell your Dominant why and how you would like to get your collar. It can be a good idea to exchange ideas, make a plan and then work on it for your relationship.

The Roses ceremony is essentially a BDSM wedding. It is the ceremony when a Dominant formally collars hi
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