Escort Agency Review

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Escort Agency Review

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Miranda Kane Wednesday 20 Sep 2017 8:00 am
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Black, tall, slim, long legs with a white shirt, glasses, hat and roller… You had floppy brown hair, a beige macintosh with a thin puffer…
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This week, I have been sacrificing my time – and sanity – to bring you something that has tested the limits of human endurance.
Running marathons? No. Saving flood victims? Not even close. Battling trolls on the internet? Nearly…
This week, I have been updating my best and worst sex work reviews!
That’s right. In case you missed, it’s not just pink lady-pens and dodgy hotels that get scathingly criticised on the internet, it’s sex workers too.
Feeling mildly uncomfortable about that? Well, you should. And it’s only going to get worse.
However, I’ve noticed a little change in our reviewing Romeos.
In my last blog , there was an overwhelming sense that all these keyboard sex-pests were out for was a sense of Value For Money. Now the overall complaint, by far, is that ‘it’s getting harder to find good punts in these parts’.
So I’m going to let you read some of the best – and worst – reviews that I’ve found for this week, and just see if you can guess why stunningly sexy sex workers may have become a little thin on the ground for these loving lotharios.
Basically, this was a £50 pump and dump. With two showers I probably got out in 20 minutes.
Why would I give it a negative? Well the whole experience just felt like a chore. I felt quite s***ty afterwards despite that this only set me back £50.
Even though we did not ‘click’ (or what the hell that even means between punter and WG [working girl] there were also no service and I don’t feel welcomed at all.
Aww, poor thing. Our first culprit left a negative review because he felt no ‘click’. Is that possibly because you only paid £50?
Still, he got two showers out of it. Anyone with Thames Water will know that’s bargain at half the price.
Where are you from OP (original poster)? I’m assuming not from the UK based on your spelling.
In future if you post reviews it would be better to structure them properly rather than having them be a big unreadable ball of gunk.
Other than that thanks for the info, you are probably going to be treated with some suspicion based on some details regarding you and your review but I’m not going to start anything.
The reviewers review a reviewer – this is where it all starts to get meta.
How many of us ladies have said, ‘What I like in a man is someone who wants value for money in the bedroom, and literary skills when reviewing prostitutes!’
It was so bad I filled my pockets with toiletries on my walk out as I passed a housekeeping trolley just so I felt I hadn’t been robbed lol ironic I know. But hey 15 pens, 10 shampoos, 11 conditioners and 17 bars of soap make me feel a bit better lol
This Romeo complained the pictures did not match the lady, which is where you can politely excuse yourself and walk away.
He, however, decided to go through with the booking, and make up for it in £5 worth of tiny hotel shampoo bottles.
Oh, and then complain about it afterwards. What a catch.
(Also an amateur. Every friends fan knows you take the lightbulbs, batteries and apples in reception.)
The dirty talking was very fake and over the top. I know dirty talking is fake with escorts, but hers was so polarising. It was such a weird and distracting.
It’s strange that, innit? Someone doesn’t give you ‘real’ dirty talk when you’re a complete stranger and they’ve known you all of five minutes.
As has already been mentioned the location is a boat. Not a big boat, a little boat. A tiny little f***ing boat.
Of course a sex-worker works from a f***ing boat! What other kind of boat would it be?
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‘Left feeling physically satisfied, but ripped off… not sure I’ll return until sensible pricing returns.
Shame as there are limited true massage shop options now down that neck of the woods.
It’s heartbreaking, isn’t it? To see that your local knocking shop has raised prices in line with inflation. It’s almost as if everyone else has grown tired of cheapskate attitudes and closed their doors, leaving you with very limited options.
The totally dire state of the availability of good talent in Brum continues, so I have been on the lookout for touring girls.
She seems almost oblivious to the fact that I am standing there, now 20 mins late whilst she is doing this. After a slow shower (to allow her time to get ready) I re-enter the bedroom. I have now been there nearly 15 mins.
Positives: She was friendly and very chatty
We all know there’s a fine line between being ‘friendly and chatty’ and ‘too chatty’…
I was pinning my hopes on the actual sex as I was a bit brassed off by now.
I began by preparing her for some doggy style ramming. She was loud as I slid my stiff dick in and out of her pussy but she was a bit too slack for my liking.
I wanted to try her in the missionary position so that I could see her facial reaction as I nailed that pussy hard. But she looked as bored as I was. A very average hour all round.
Oh no! Did your ‘nailing’ and ‘ramming’ just leave her bored? And with such a ‘stiff dick’ too.
But yes, that was her fault. All your pent up toxic masculinity – how dare she!
Reviewers like these ones on UK Punting are a maze of contradictions and counter-intuitive criticism.
They long to get the most amount of sex that they can for as little money as possible, then cry when it dries up because – frankly – we have better things to do than to live up to their lofty expectations.
‘It wasn’t the Girlfriend Experience I had hoped for!’ – because we are not your girlfriends, we’re complete strangers. So no, there won’t be any ‘click’ when you’ve paid a minimal amount for 52 positions in 30 minutes.
Of course, there are many reasons why they might be feeling like the bubble has burst, but I for one am glad it has.
It’s always the way – you just don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

I am really only passionate about two things in life, Porn and Escorts, When I first discovered Backpage I felt a sense of freedom and opportunity. Everybody deserves that feeling of finding a chick with a banging body, bust a nut and go on with their day with no BS attached.
Let me tell yeah how it works, I put the escort sites with the most popularity at the top. Youll find the most babes posting ads on these sites, Then i added some specific sites for rub & tugs, TS trannies, 40$ whores, high end prostitutes and heck even virgins. I then went out of my way travelled the globe and found the most popular escort sites from all over the world. So no matter where you are on this planet, I got your back!
Unlike other dudes on the web I only find the best and list the best escort sites. Escorts are one thing that i am really passionate about. I put in the work to study and find all the top escort sites in the world. I only listed the ones with the highest traffic from the most credible sources. At the same time i threw in a few specialty niche escort sites. Like for specific regions, shemales, virgins and even just strictly rub and tugs.
Yeah there is obviously a risk but hey the world is ending so who gives a fuck right ? On the other hand if you kind of give a shit then maybe check out some of my no strings attached Sex Dating Sites (Found at the top right corner of the screen under “dating") In my opinion its a pretty sweet way to go. You pay like 30-50 bucks for the month and you can find a side chick or two to smash for free with no rubber. And trust me those girls are down!
Well unless you live deep in butt f***K nowhere , i am pretty sure there are escorts near you! Keep in mind this is the oldest profession in the world. (Little known fact) Jesus was born just 1 block away from a brothel. If you cant find a escort near you from my list then you have to move your hick ass to the city because where i live there are tons of escorts near me!
If you aren’t looking for your average call girl, or maybe female escorts are just not for you, then i have your back my friend! The truth is there is most likely a variety of local escorts near you. TS escorts are becoming widely popular now a days given the demand . Pornhub is proving this TS escort fetish is getting some serious traction now a days! If you want to go get a dick in your ass then your not alone! You’ll find a few good shemale escort sites to choose from in my escort directory.
Escorts in North America anywhere from $100-$400+ per hour. On some of the more popular escort sites you will see an average of about $200 per hour and about $130 for a half hour one nut session. Some escorts even do 15 minute quickie sessions where you could get service for as low as $40. Down in South America you could get escorts for as little as $20 an hour on some of the local escort sites down there.
In most countries around the world and in the USA, prostitution is illegal. Sexual services cant be discussed or paid for. However the act of sex between 2 adults is totally ok . Keep in mind when you hire an escort its for “companionship". But trust me she’ll probably be the freakiest and most satisfying companion you have ever met, who’ll put your wife or GF to shame in the sheets.
Hold your horses there cowboy! A lot of these chicks don’t like to talk heat shit over the phone for obvious legal reasons. If you directly talk about sexual services she will most likely ignore you or hang up the phone. You need to learn your self some common acronyms when discussing anything sexual with an escort… Ok this one is on me; “rim play"
As you can imagine I’ve been with tons of local escorts and escorts all over the world. I’ve hired these calls girls from various agencies, right out of strip clubs, rub and tugs, bathhouses, massage parlors. You name it. Getting an escort is really a beautiful experience. Imagine a nice new beautiful moist flower in front of your face just ready to get pounded until you blow a load in it. One commonality is when you arrive to see an escort they will do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable and like a king, Sure different escorts have different personalities, but their aim goal is always to please you.
If your bored ass is asking me… Get An escort! For what !? ….Well, just stay tuned, I will try to get my hands off my cock and devote some attention to making an explanation. Say, you are in a new city or a familiar one and want to spend time with some of the prettiest and sexiest girls to be had. Then you simply check out Porn Guy’s top escort sites page, pick any one of the reliable escort sites in my stash and start dialing digits!
These babes will usually be dressed to kill and can show you all around the city, with you both having enough fun to fill up several lifetimes. You can fuck your escort till she’s nearly comatose, but not all escorts offer sex, so remember that and ask first before putting your hand under her dress and twiddling with her moist twat!
Escorts come in just about every imaginable shape, size, and color, plus all types of physical attributes. You can book some on the streets, while for others you need to make arrangements with an escort agency. And yes, an escort is not a prostitute, as she is hired mostly to keep you entertained, rather than to fuck your brains out of that Mandigo that freely and rather menacingly swings in your shorts!
For you businessmen, escorts provide an opportunity to hire a pretty lady and show her off to everyone that matters, including your boss. Even better, nothing stops you from hiring these babes when you go to visit your parents in another city and have them pretend to be your new girlfriend or lover. That comes in useful when your parents have been pestering you for long to date and produce babes like mad!
Escorts entertain and keep you company. If you are the gambling type they can go with you to your favorite casino and make you feel less lonely as you battle with Lady Luck. If you are a more laid back type, you can take one or two escorts with you to a luncheon, or picnic and there have fun under the sky. Yes, escorts have a lot of uses, with new ones being discovered all the time.
If you are the wild type, then escorts are perfectly what the doctor ordered. You can take them chicks clubbing, go on vacation with them and have them give you the kind of erotic massages that makes you feel so heavenly you could flap your wings and fly! If sex and very mind-blowing sex at that interest you, escorts are fully ready for that too and know just about every trick in the trade, plus lots more they haven’t written about yet!
It turns out that if you have a phone you can hire a call girl. Depending where in the world you are you might have to go on a escort website represented by an agency to hire a girl. Unless your min US , Canada or really most first world countries escorts typically are independent. At the end of the day the routine is the same! Pick the perfect girl for you, pay for her, and have her meet you either at your place or wherever she is staying. The whole thing is very discrete too.
The escort agencies are usually a little more pricey but they are aright! Less chances of getting robbed or scammed. I know if i was in a third world country somewhere i would go with an agency all the way.
See, most escorts are very highly trained and skilled and speak multiple languages. They are perfect in every way too and could give any top supermodel a run for her money. Their skills range from twerking to dancing, strip teasing, and giving sublime massages and all are entertainers who can converse with you on most topics and flatter you so well you feel like the biggest and most wonderful man in the world. And when you do get them in the sack, you will find them so tight you almost lose your mind and so expert at hard fucking that it is all you can do to hang on and not go crazy!
At the end of the day there’s no doubt at all in my mind that I would sell my soul for most of the sexy escorts I have seen, So yes, escorts are assuredly worth it, at least the ones I have hired so far. But better don’t tell my wife about that!
Well, I don’t really have a favorite escort site right now, as each offers something special that the others try to but fail to match. Just read my reviews, view the girls in the different escort sites, and let your dick make your choice for you. Yes, it is that simple!
And oh, if you do manage to find yourself cock-deep in one escort or the other, your wife or significant other is going to be royally pissed if you scoop up one STD or the other. So, be sure to use a condom and keep that good dick properly protected!
Ranked #1 Most popular sex hookup site in America – This site is just one big orgy fuck fest. This is where horny ladies, married women, milf's, nympho's and sugarbabies go for straight up sex. Visit Ashley Masdison I have banged a few chicks off this site, The only difference from an escort site is that it didn't cost me to bang them (Except buying booze) Its totally worth checking out.
The #1 most popular escort site in the US – Escort Babylon aka Escort alligator aka ListCrawler is super packed with escorts listed all over the US. This site has some serious volume of escorts posting ad's making it the most popular – Read Review
America's second most popular escort site – If you want to skip the BS then hit up skipthegames, Here you'll find female, male or TS Escorts. Body rubs, Phone sex, Dom, Strip clubs. Basically anything to do with busting a nut – Read Review
The best all around adult entertainment directory guide – Adultsearch is a revolutionary adult search engine. Find escorts, local sex shops, bath houses and even strip clubs all on one site – Read Review
The top high-end escort site with detailed profiles – Eros is a higher end escort site that lists sexy babes from all over – Read Review
Most similar to backpage – BedPage is a one stop shop for all pussy, Check out this new up and coming backpage replacement – Read Review
Top TS Escort Site in the USA – Finally! a site for straight up TSEscorts.  Read Review
America's #1 massage parlor review and listing site – Rubs maps is probably the top massage parlor review site on the net. With a huge ass community of rub and tug enthusiets posting real reviews of parlors around the globe – Read Review
The legend of Backpage continues! – YesBackpage is a backpage.com alternative site since 2018. Like backpage, find escorts ads, adult jobs, body rubs, strippers, dating services etc – Read Review
100% USA based escort site – United States escorts, phone nubmers, reviews, pictures and videos – Read Review
Largest escort site directory for escort sites world wide – EscortSites.org is the world's largest escort site directory which lists, ranks and reviews the most popular escort sites from all over the world
Widely popular escort review site – Erotic monkey is the #1 source for free quality escort reviews. This site can really help you out if you want to see if an escort is real, not a cop and not out to burn you – Read Review
No BS, just an escort profile and phone number aggregator – Find phone numbers from around the world with SumoSearch, the most powerful search tool for phone numbers. – Read Review
Most similar to CityXGuide – Harlothub is a free classified site like cityxguide. There are tons of features on the site similar to cityxguide. – Read Review
Top Escort Forum in the USA – The USASexGuide Forum is a FREE forum for dudes to talk about their experiences with escorts sites, escorts, rub and tubs and even street corners for hookers . – Read Review
Clean, fast and crisp escort site. This site is another up and coming escort site. It only lists female escorts, Its straight to the point and easy to use – Read Review
America's top rub and tug masseur site – This platform has chicks offering body rubs and se
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