Erotic Monkey Review
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Review Pros
Easy to use and
Many escort listings nationwide
Mobile friendly
At first read, a site titled erotic monkey may give off the wrong impression. Trust me, there aren’t any real monkeys, or any other type of animal, involved on this site. Erotic monkey is a website that connects people who may be looking for some late night (or daytime) sexual encounter with local professionals. It’s more or less a bulletin board for you to see who in the area is willing to meet up for a sexual encounter. You may be thinking of alternative adult dating apps such as Tinder, Grindr, and Bumble, there may not be a use for this service. You could not be more wrong, and I’ll give you some information to prove it.
Erotic Monkey is a classified site that posts reviews for escorts pertaining to the service they provide. It’s very similar to classified sites such as AdultSearch but offers the added bonus of having reviews for the escorts you’re considering. Think of it as being an erotic Craigslist. You are able to look through different ads based on your location, so you have a good sense of what’s around. This is especially useful if you’re in an unfamiliar area and are looking for a quick hook up. It allows you to select the person of your erotic dreams, and literally order them to your front door.
Review sites like Erotic monkey, and classified sites, are by far the most efficient way to arrange a hookup online. If you’re on a business trip or are traveling alone, chances are that at some point, you’re going to need to find an outlet for a sexual release. Let’s face it, there’s only so much excitement that your hand or toys can provide.
It's also incredibly time-efficient. Apps like Tinder require you to swipe through seemingly endless profiles of users in hopes that you find a match. It can take hours, or even days, to arrange a Tinder hookup.
Erotic Monkey lays everything out for you at once. You simply select your location and find someone who piques your interest. Erotic Monkey is exceptionally beneficial to the average guys. Let’s face it, if you are an average or below average looking person, it can sometimes be an extremely lonely place on services like Tinder, who cater more to the sun-kissed model and chiseled chest types. Not too much room for success with a beer gut.
Of course, one of the first questions that one asks when experimenting with a new site is how much of an impact using the service will have on their wallets. The free tier of Erotic Monkey offers you access to the site, giving you the ability to view different escorts that have been reviewed. If you’re looking for the ability to actually view the reviews, however, you will have to couch up a bit of cash. The bright side is you can use Erotic Monkey has a fully functioning classified site free of charge. You can connect with escorts and arrange a hookup all for free! If that’s all you’re looking for, then you’re in luck.
What differentiates Erotic Monkey from other classified sites are the reviews it leaves on the escorts who are posting the ads. If you want to have an idea of what to expect, this can be a very useful piece of information.
If you want access to these reviews, you’ll need to sign up for the premium membership. How you choose to purchase the membership determines how much you’ll pay. A full yearlong membership will set you back $279. You can also choose to spend $200 for three-month access, or $100 for two months. It’s up to you and your budget to determine which price point works for you.
Of course, this does not include the cost of the actual meetup, which would be determined by the escort. If you’re iffy about the idea of putting a monetary figure on sex, don’t be. 99% of all sexual encounters require some form of money to be spent. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, drinks at a bar or even movie tickets, first-time sex with someone rarely comes for free. Using an escort is simply taking the middleman out of the equation. It saves you both time and small talk. Remember, this isn’t a service for people looking for love, though that’s not impossible. It serves primarily for hookups. Remember to stay safe when finding a kinky match online.
If you wish to cancel yor erotic account you can easily do this by scrolling to the header and clicking on the cancelation link:
Click on this link to cancel your account: Cancel Erotic Monkey Account
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Prior to arranging a meetup with an escort, you’re able to view detailed information on who will be arriving, right down to their shaving preferences and their cup size. This information is included free of charge and is extremely helpful in determining if they’re a fit to your preferences. This is really just scratching the surface of the search capabilities of Erotic Monkey.
Once you get used to using classified sites such as this, it makes it so much harder to go back to services like Tinder for casual hookups. They offer you relatively no search capabilities and waste your time by forcing you to swipe through singular profiles at a time.
If you’re in the market for escorts that is facilitated online, Erotic Monkey is an awesome choice. Of course, you should keep in consideration all of the precautions that come with the world of arranging online hookups. Whether that’s by meeting up at a hotel so your address isn’t divulged or by insisting on a FaceTime before you actually come face to face, make sure your safety isn’t compromised.
However, with the robust search capabilities that this service offers, combined with its extensive reviews of the escorts, Erotic Monkey provides all of the information you need to have an eventful, exciting experience. Most of these features are available for free as well. Erotic Monkey will help you find the perfect companion for your lonely Friday night. There’s no reason for anyone to have to suffer from sexual deprivation in the age of the internet.
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PornDude likes Erotic Monkey's Reviews system Plenty of info on the girls Great advanced search Great site design Safe mode Plenty of features PornDude hates Erotic Monkey's Expensive! No way of contacting the girls directly through the site
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Escort reviews at "The Erotic Monkey", aka "Escort Monkey"? WTF? Is this some bestiality site, or what? Anyways, first things first; let’s face facts. There is a 99% chance that all you were going to do tonight before reading this article was jack off, eat something, and go to bed alone. It’s sad, but it’s true. I mean, that would be the easy thing to do, right? A hell of a lot easier than going out and trying to actually bang a chick. That takes time, probably money (to buy her drinks, etc.), and effort. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if a sexy slut could just show up at your door within the hour, willing to do anything you command her to do?
Well, lucky for you, we live in the information age. Not that most guys use the internet a whole lot for learning. Luckily, it’s never been easier to find an escort in your city than it is today, which means that you – yes, even a fat, lazy slob such as yourself – can get laid pretty much on demand any day of the week. If you have a little bit of money to spare, that is.
You might be thinking that ordering an escort is below you. You know, paying for sex gets a bad rep and all, but have you ever stopped to consider why, or whether or not that rep is warranted? What is so shameful about it paying for sex? Don’t we all kind of pay for sex, in one way or another, when it comes down to it? Think about it; whether you’re paying a girl directly for sex, or you’re taking her out on dates and paying for dinner and drinks, you’re still spending money with the end goal of getting some pussy, right?
Why not cut out all the extra hassle and extra steps and just give a girl money directly without having to cross your fingers about whether or not you’re going to get some ass out of it? It’s much more honest and direct. Quit being such a pussy and just get over the fucking stigma already. Plus, it saves you a whole lot of time and energy, since you won’t have to try and woo her or seduce her into fucking you. If you’ve never done it before, I say fuck it, just give it a shot!
As you probably could imagine, there are a fuck ton of escort ad and escort review sites out there to choose from. And, just like with any website, not all of them are created equal. Some are awesome, really easy to use, have convenient search engines with tons of filters to help you find the perfect girl, and provide all the information you’ll need to get ahold of the girl. Others will be lacking in one or more of those features, and some are just straight-up shit and should be avoided like herpes.
You won’t even have to go out of your way to find girls in your area. Erotic Monkey automatically detects your location and immediately provides you with beautiful pieces of ass within 50 miles or so of you, making your life a hell of a lot easier. After all, by the time you think to yourself, ‘hey, maybe I’ll order myself an escort,’ chances are you’re already extremely horny. Erotic Monkey gets that, and it wants to help you get straight to business – fuck all the bullshit!
But forget the reviews for now. Because if all you’re looking for is a great site to help you find escort ads and get in touch with the girls, Erotic Monkey can help you out completely free of charge. That is actually how I would recommend using the site. At least at first. Once you become a little more experienced and actually have racked up some girls to review, then it may be worth considering a paid membership.
At the very top of the site, you will find a quick access toggle button, allowing you to switch between safe browsing and the full site. Quickly censor the site if you’re browsing in public or at work. Toggling safe mode “on” will take away all the pics and switch the funny little monkey character into an alternate logo that just reads “EM” in a bold font. I wouldn’t advise searching for escorts in the office anyway, but hey, maybe you want to get fired!
Now that we have all the essential functions and site design quirks out of the way, it’s time to take a look at some girls. Although I can’t really speak for the quality of the girls themselves (it’s going to vary quite a bit depending on your location), I can say that they seem to consistently provide all the information you could ask for in the girls’ profiles. And if the profile is missing anything, they always give some means of contacting her directly, so that she can speak to you about prices and screening (if she does that … most of the good ones do, by the way).
Not only can you find the perfect paid companion to ease your lonelier nights on Erotic Monkey, but you can also read the latest escorting news. Just check the discussions, the site’s blog, and the forums section. Some of the girls even post in the forums, explaining where they will be traveling. Plus, it can be helpful for you to brush up on your escort etiquette before you spend the night with one. Learn how not to be a piece of shit!
All in all, Erotic Monkey, just like Eccie and USASexGuide , has developed quite a name for themselves as far as escort ad sites are concerned. And they have earned it. Between excellent site design, some awesome features, an amazingly detailed advanced search function, rigorous reviews, and plenty of posts of sexy ladies willing to make you cum for a price, you really can’t go wrong. Well, aside from draining your bank account along with your dick…but that comes with the territory.
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