Erotic Edging

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Erotic Edging
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Edging 101: a Beginner's Guide to Orgasm Denial
Unfulfilled orgasms could be the best thing for your sex life since, well, orgasms. And for your relationship too.
Don’t believe me? Well, then, chew on this. How could you master the art of bringing your lover to the brink of orgasm, only to cut it off right as they’re about to soar — unless you knew their body (and mind) really well ?
And how can they do it for you without the same level of unabashed intimacy and vulnerability at play?
Orgasm denial, aka edging, is a type of sexual play often associated with BDSM. But it's not just for kinksters.
The point of orgasm denial is to reach peak state of arousal, yet not have an orgasm. The orgasmic release is withheld to build up the pressure and pleasure potential over time .
The basic idea: one person stimulates and excites the other as they see fit, but the excitee (new word) is not allowed to fully climax . One person gains sexual control of the other and chooses when (and if) they can have be rewarded with sexual release .
If you’re wondering why someone would skirt something many spend so much time and effort chasing, you may have answered your own question . At least, in part.
Some people find that purposefully delaying orgasm, which translates to prolonged arousal, can lead to stronger, longer, and more mind-shattering orgasms . This enhanced pleasure happens on a physical level as much as it does on a psychological we-want-what-we-can’t-have level . Some people also find the dominance and submission (D/s) aspect highly erotic. After all, there is a high level of control implicit in this experience. And deep trust is required to get there.
Edging penis-owners can enjoy increased testosterone levels, better endurance during sex (hello), and greater control over when they cum . This can help with premature ejaculation with practice. It’s all about training the brain to be comfortable achieving a high level of sexual pleasure without going over one’s edge .
And for the vulva-owners in the room... Well, even if there haven’t been studies devoted to it, there's a good chance that stockpiling those pleasure chemicals in the body is healthy for us too .
All in all, the most overarching benefit is a deeper, more robust sex life, free from the usual urgency of needing to have an orgasm, but with much more attention to and respect for the orgasm than ever before . In its absence, it is honored through and through.
Have a conversation with your lover about what you both want before you start exploring. For example, decide whether an eventual orgasm will be allowed or not. Some people will deny their partner an orgasm altogether, while others will stave off the orgasm for, say, an hour, or two, or three, bringing them to the edge again and again and again, until the sexual energy reaches a maddening height, before finally allowing them to explode .
If you ask me, that’s love. I had a lover once who did just that. It’s really too bad that even sex like this does not a relationship make, but you know what? It might increase your odds. While some people may experience something like “blue balls” if they aren’t eventually allowed to cum, others prefer the sweet torture of being completely denied now and again .
Anything can be used for orgasm denial as long as it creates sexual stimulation that can be controlled enough to prevent an orgasm . You could have sex and stop when you or your partner comes close to orgasm. Your partner could use a vibrator and/or dildo on you. Or stimulate your G-spot with their hand, if they happen to know you inside out. It could be an oral adventure.
No matter what body parts are involved , here are a few more techniques to either try with your partner.
Maybe the easiest way to perform orgasm denial is to use physical restraints. If your partner restrains you, say with handcuffs, in a position that allows them full access to your pleasure centers while you are unable to touch yourself, that can be some hot shit .
If you’re on the restrained end of things, you might find it helpful—particularly if your partner doesn’t know your buttons perfectly well—to let them know when you’re about to cum, so they know when to cut you off . A learning process, but a very exciting one.
In the “tease and denial” method, there are no restraints. And whoever is the one being toyed with is trusted to not interfere or touch their own body. This can be all kinds of fun because you have to listen to your partner’s orders, reinforcing a playful, kinky dynamic, or even a D/s type of relationship .
When the excitee gets close to orgasm, the exciter can either remove stimulation completely or slow down to prevent the orgasm . This requires getting to know a partner very intricately . Indeed, simply realizing that you have a partner capable of mastering your body this way can be deeply arousing all on its own .
If you want to get even kinkier... Particularly if you want to try long-term orgasm control, AKA chastity, one partner might tell the other not to orgasm until they next meet to build anticipation .
The “dom” (top) may give the “sub” (bottom) tasks, telling them, for example, how many times a day they should bring themselves to the edge of climax and stop . If the sub orgasms, either accidentally or on purpose, the dom can then “punish” them. Catching on? Get as creative and freaky as you want. Sex should be an art, lovelies.
Single? Loverless? All the more reason to experiment on yourself. Our natural instinct is to keep going when something feels good, but learning to slow down and flirt with the edge can teach you a lot about your own body . When you know where your own personal edge is and what it feels like, you will be able to better harness it with a partner. Knowledge is flower power, after all.
© 2022 Bellesa. All rights reserved.
This is about the prevention of any genital stimulation. The exciter might instead stimulate your neck, nipples, thighs, ass, feet. This is a devious alternative that can create a different kind of build-up—but no less intense! Restraints may or may not be used . In the absence of rope or leather ties, barking orders can go a long way toward restraining a person psychologically (but only in the best way) .



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Our articles are written by health experts and qualified contributors.
Lucas Owenby (the CEO) and Marko Hallinan (the Editor) review and edit all the submitted content to meet our quality guidelines.
This is beneficial for men who experience premature ejaculation. You will have better control over your orgasms and be able to stop yourself from climaxing in certain cases.
The name edging was given because you are taking yourself to the very edge, and then stopping all stimulation so that the orgasm is never reached.
This method is more effective with men due to their longer refractory period. Women can try this too, but it will not be as beneficial.
Before starting, one must learn about the different stages of arousal in order to know the best time to pull back.
For beginners, it is recommended to pull back at level 7. However, the goal of edging is to be able to pull back at level 9. After about 6 months of edging correctly, you will be able to skip PONR and experience dry orgasms.
Before you begin edging, you will need a quiet place, lubricant, and a timer. This can also be performed during masturbation or foreplay.
Step 1. Edging is best done while lying down with your eyes closed. Stimulate yourself until your penis is hard. Make sure to focus on how you feel so you are aware when you reach a certain level of arousal.
Step 2. Stroke your penis similar to masturbation. You may use a lubricant to do this. In this step, avoid touching the penile frenulum (the skin located under the center of the head) and the entire head. It is important not to stimulate them too soon as they are the most sensitive parts of the penis.
Step 3. For beginners, you may stop stimulating yourself when you reach level 4. This is when you start to feel really aroused but still feel it is easy to hold back your orgasm. On your next sessions, your goal is to stop yourself beyond level 4, gradually reach level 9, and still be able to stop and hold back your orgasm.
Step 4. If it becomes too difficult to hold back, stop completely and think of something different. It is helpful to inhale and exhale a few times to help yourself cool down. Make sure you are feeling all the sensation and not ignoring them (unless you are at your edge avoiding an orgasm). This is the key to becoming better at edging.
Step 5. When you start to feel that you are no longer going to orgasm, you can start stimulating yourself again. Some men are more sensitive, and will need to take a longer break. Repeat these steps for at least 20 minutes in every session. In some steps, you will be closer to orgasm than in others.
Step 6. It is up to you if you want to let yourself ejaculate. When you are ready to ejaculate, it is ok to stimulate the frenulum and head. Your orgasm will be much stronger and longer than usual. You will also more force when ejaculating (be careful not to take anyone’s eye out ). This can lead to cramps, so make sure to eat something and drink water before hand.
Every session, keep in mind that the goal is to be able to reach a higher level of arousal before stopping yourself.
It is okay not to reach level 8 or 9 in your first few weeks. Edging at a higher level may take more time for some, and becoming better comes with a regular practice.
When you feel that you have mastered edging, you may start doing the exercise by stroking the head as well.
When stopping right before an orgasm, you may experience strange orgasm variations. You may ejaculate without feeling the orgasm or you may feel the orgasm without ejaculating.
Those are normal and will allow you to learn more about yourself throughout the process.
Kegel is a pelvic floor muscle exercise that is very helpful when holding back your orgasm. This exercise involves flexing your pelvic floor muscles as if you are holding back your urine.
This article discusses the steps on how to perform Kegels properly.
Ballooning is a more complicated exercise where you stimulate yourself without ejaculating. It is also helpful with premature ejaculation.
With ballooning, you are supposed to stroke a specific part of your penis while doing reverse Kegels, then do some Kegels when you feel like you are about to orgasm.
This exercise must be done for 30 minutes to one hour. Not allowing yourself to ejaculate will result in a bigger flaccid penis and a much harder erection.



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Climax (Expulsion phase of ejaculation)
PONR (Point of No Return). A phase where it is impossible to hold back an orgasm.
Extremely aroused, close to ejaculation (Emission phase)
Aroused, but still able to hold back orgasm easily

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