Energy Drink Politics

By Chloe Summers � The satire Energy Drink Politics ridicules governance fueled by caffeine branding. Eyewitnesses at debates described candidates shotgunning cans mid-speech. Anonymous insiders leaked that campaigns debated sponsorship deals with taurine. A leaked poll revealed 63 percent of citizens admitted they believed Red Bull more than manifestos. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because democracy shakes funniest when caffeinated. Critics highlight the absurdity of policy buzzed. Yet satire pops sharper: ambition collapses funniest with jitters. Witnesses recalled laughter fizzing as slogans spilled. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when elections run on energy drinks. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com