Emo Sperm

Emo Sperm
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A sperm extractor from China went viral online recently. The machine promises a hands-free solution for donation and diagnosis alike.

[Updated] The Minister of National Security Michael Weeks advised “that the Emergency Measures Organisation [EMO] has been closely monitoring Tropical Strom Earl” and tomorrow morning [Sept 7] he will chair an EMO meeting.
Earlier today, the Bermuda Weather Service issued a Tropical Storm Watch, and said that Tropical Storm Earl is a ‘threat to Bermuda.’
A Government spokesperson said, “The Minister of National Security, Michael Weeks advised today that the Emergency Measures Organisation [EMO] has been closely monitoring Tropical Strom Earl.
“And the Minister confirmed that tomorrow morning [September 7] he will chair an EMO meeting to get the latest update on the storm and to assess member agencies’ preparedness. According to the Bermuda Weather Service [BWS] Tropical Storm Earl is considered a potential threat to the island. The public can review the 6.00 p.m. storm update from the BWS here: Bermuda Weather Service .
“The Ministry notes that TS Earl will likely bring a rapid onset of conditions as Earl’s forward speed is expected to be increasing as it approaches and passes the island.
“Of particular note, the Parks Department’s lifeguards have been extremely active today with multiple rescues on the south shore beaches, where hazardous surf and rip currents continue to build.
“In that regard, the public are urged to exercise caution should they venture into the ocean on the south shore.”
This evening Minister Weeks said, “I am reiterating my previous messages about preparedness. We know we are in the peak of our hurricane season, and Bermuda is no stranger to serious storms. Bermuda will certainly feel the effects from Earl, so we must guard against complacency. As a country, we’ve been successful in managing through hurricanes by being ready and prepared. Following tomorrow’s EMO meeting, I will provide a further update to the public.”
“To assist residents in getting ready, homeowners and business should consider doing some of the following:
“For the latest updates regarding this storm system, visit http://www.weather.bm.”
Update 9.20pm: Earl has strengthened and is now a hurricane.

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