Embarrassing Male Nudity

Embarrassing Male Nudity

By
Lorenzo Jensen III ,
August 6th 2014

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I got a boner during my wedding ceremony. My wife was showing some serious cleavage, as were the bridesmaids. I’m talking diamond hard. Took almost the entire ceremony to go down. Thankfully, with the angle I was standing and my tux, it was mostly hidden.
I was on a trip one time which made me be in a car for 30 hours straight. I fell asleep, with my mom driving (I was in the passenger seat). When i woke up it was about 7 am, and as any other male, I had morning wood, which my mom happened to glance at. I covered it with a pillow, but it was rather awkward for a while.
Oh boy. I feel like this is one of those things that girls just can’t understand, like how a guy just won’t ever fully understand what it’s like having a period. Here’s my best analogy.
Imagine, if you will, that when an attractive guy talked to you, your boobs doubled in size. You can’t control it, they just do it all by themselves, like how you can’t control your heart beating.
Now imagine you’re sitting front-row, at your grandmother’s funeral. This is a sad day. You loved your grandma, and now Nana’s in a casket three feet in front of you, about to be buried. You’re wearing a black dress, very modest, when you feel a twinge in your chest. Oh fuck, not now! You look down at your chest, and there it is, they twitched, they’re expanding. Fuck me, why the fuck is this happening now!?!? You cross your arms, hoping to shield the fact that your boobs are steadily increasing, getting too big for your bra and dress, except you just know that people can notice it. I mean, you are doing the most obvious movements possible that every girl does when her boobs double in size, the arms crossed, the leaning forward in your chair, the narrowing of the shoulders. You’re feeling extremely uncomfortable and acutely aware of a thousand imagined eyes on you, since your top blatantly no longer fits you. In the front row, of Nana’s funeral.
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What is the most embarrassing moment faced by a male?
What is the most embarrassing position you have ever faced?
What is the most embarrassing moment that a boy might have had during puberty?
What is an embarrassing moment with a teen boy?
What was your most embarrassing moment during puberty?
What's your most embarrassing "guy moment?"
Historian and Spokesperson at FroCalc Destructions Inc. ( 2018 – present ) · Author has 55 answers and 1.2M answer views · 4 y ·
What is the most embarrassing position you have ever faced?
What is the most embarrassing moment that a boy might have had during puberty?
What is an embarrassing moment with a teen boy?
What was your most embarrassing moment during puberty?
What's your most embarrassing "guy moment?"
What is the most embarrassing moment for boys in front of girls?
What is the most embarrassing thing for a man?
This is for Indian boys. Until what age were you given bath by your family members? Any experience of people bathing you after puberty?
What was your most humiliating experience being bathed as a boy?
What is the most embarrassing moment of yours in front of a boy?
What is the most embarrassing thing you can tell a guy?
What is an embarrassing experience?
As an Indian teenage boy, were you made to bath in the open? Were you seen by others during your bath?
When was the last time you bathed naked or almost naked in the rain?
What was your most embarrassing moment in front of boys in school?
What is the most embarrassing position you have ever faced?
What is the most embarrassing moment that a boy might have had during puberty?
What is an embarrassing moment with a teen boy?
What was your most embarrassing moment during puberty?
What's your most embarrassing "guy moment?"
What is the most embarrassing moment for boys in front of girls?
What is the most embarrassing thing for a man?
This is for Indian boys. Until what age were you given bath by your family members? Any experience of people bathing you after puberty?
What was your most humiliating experience being bathed as a boy?
What is the most embarrassing moment of yours in front of a boy?
Something went wrong. Wait a moment and try again.
I was staying in a very upscale hotel in Asia for my work. I met a nice girl and invited her over to my hotel. I am not very experienced with women but we spent some time having sex in the dark. It felt a little bit wet but I did not pay attention. In the morning I could see that the bed and covers were completely covered in blood. I am not sure if it was because she was a virgin, or on her period, or both. The maid came and cleaned the bed and replaced the dirty parts the next day.
When I was checking out, there was an additional charge of $300 for ‘pollution’ which must be for replacing the c
I was staying in a very upscale hotel in Asia for my work. I met a nice girl and invited her over to my hotel. I am not very experienced with women but we spent some time having sex in the dark. It felt a little bit wet but I did not pay attention. In the morning I could see that the bed and covers were completely covered in blood. I am not sure if it was because she was a virgin, or on her period, or both. The maid came and cleaned the bed and replaced the dirty parts the next day.
When I was checking out, there was an additional charge of $300 for ‘pollution’ which must be for replacing the covers. I was very embarrassed and just paid the bill. Luckily I was on an expense account so I did not have to personally pay.
You’re talking to your crush, very very happy inside, but also worried.
Why worried? You feel a familiar feeling down there, something’s getting excited.
You awkwardly shift around, trying to hide this external appendage in the fold of your pants, but alas, you don’t succeed. Now, you’re really worried. It’s time to go. You try your very hardest to end the conversation, but you can’t.
All this time, this frontal extension of your body is still growing.
Finally, it stops. It looks like a little tent pole.
Right before you go, you catch her eyes drift down…and then quickly look back up.
You’re talking to your crush, very very happy inside, but also worried.
Why worried? You feel a familiar feeling down there, something’s getting excited.
You awkwardly shift around, trying to hide this external appendage in the fold of your pants, but alas, you don’t succeed. Now, you’re really worried. It’s time to go. You try your very hardest to end the conversation, but you can’t.
All this time, this frontal extension of your body is still growing.
Finally, it stops. It looks like a little tent pole.
Right before you go, you catch her eyes drift down…and then quickly look back up.

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10 Embarrassing Moments in the Locker Room
These guys will tell you that the locker room isn't only a place to freshen up after a gameÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½it's also the perfect place for your most embarrassing moment!
compiled by Amanda Lim and Vero Zamesa * illustration by Ben Deluyas
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That’s seen fellas on the Channel 4 show forced to take matters into their own hands in a bid to look their best when the cameras start rolling.
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“Though obviously this somewhat desperate measure has raised a few eyebrows among crew when they’ve seen it in action.”
Naked Attraction, hosted by Anna Richardson, marks six years on our screens later this month.
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Channel 4 declined to comment . . . they were probably speechless.
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