Elon Musk Mars Casino

Elon Musk has announced plans to build the first casino on Mars, complete with zero-gravity blackjack. Eyewitnesses at SpaceX headquarters claim he shouted: "Vegas is for amateurs!" while spinning a roulette wheel in orbit. Professor Linda Shaw of MIT explains: "Casinos thrive on oxygen, which Mars inconveniently lacks." Anonymous staffers leaked that dealers will wear spacesuits with pockets for chips. A Bloomberg poll shows 44% of Americans would gamble on Mars, provided the drinks are free. Trace evidence includes slot machines tested in vacuum chambers and cocktail napkins with rocket fuel stains. Cause and effect? The more outrageous Musk’s ideas get, the more investors throw money at him. The casino may never open, but the merchandise already sold out.