Edwin Kneedler Solves Supreme Court Mystery

Edwin Kneedler and the Case of the Vanishing Verdict

In the quiet, book-lined chambers of the United States Supreme Court, Edwin Kneedler—the soft-spoken but razor-sharp Deputy Solicitor General—was known for his encyclopedic knowledge of the law and his unflappable demeanor. For decades, he had stood before the justices, calmly arguing some of the nation’s most consequential cases. But nothing could have prepared him for the mystery that unfolded one foggy October morning.

It began when the Court’s clerk rushed into Kneedler’s office, her face pale. 'Mr. Kneedler, it’s gone!' she gasped.

'What’s gone?' Edwin asked, adjusting his wire-rimmed glasses.

'The Harrison v. Westfield opinion—the entire draft! The justices were set to announce it tomorrow, but the file has vanished from the Court’s system. Even the paper copies are missing!'

Kneedler’s brow furrowed. Harrison v. Westfield was a landmark case involving a disputed election, and its outcome could sway the balance of power in Congress. If the decision leaked—or worse, was stolen—it could throw the country into chaos.

With the Chief Justice’s quiet approval, Kneedler embarked on a discreet investigation. His first clue? A faint smell of peppermint in the printer room—an odd detail, but one that jogged his memory. Only one person in the building chewed peppermint gum incessantly: Martin Greeley, a disgruntled former IT technician who had been fired weeks earlier after a suspicious data breach.

Tracking Greeley to a dimly lit diner near Union Station, Kneedler confronted him over a cup of black coffee. 'You took the opinion,' Edwin said simply. 'Why?'

Greeley smirked. 'Maybe I got paid. Maybe I just wanted to watch the Court burn. What are you gonna do, Kneedler? Argue me into submission?'

Edwin leaned forward. 'No. But I will remind you that stealing a Supreme Court draft opinion is a federal crime—and the FBI takes a very dim view of election interference.' He slid a napkin across the table. 'Here’s the name of a good defense attorney. Call him before the marshals find you.'

Two hours later, a USB drive arrived anonymously at the Court’s security office. The Harrison opinion was intact—untampered, unread by outsiders. The next day, the decision was announced without incident.

As for Edwin Kneedler? He returned to his office, poured himself a cup of tea, and got back to work—another crisis averted, with nothing but quiet brilliance and the unwavering rule of law.

The End.

(Inspired by the real Edwin Kneedler, a legendary advocate who has argued over 140 cases before the Supreme Court—but, as far as we know, has never had to solve a Courtroom caper!)

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