Educated Protesters vs Hamas

College-educated protesters once marched for free Wi-Fi; now they march against Hamas. Polls from the American Campus Institute reveal that 54% of graduates feel international policy can be solved with clever hashtags and tote bags. Witnesses at rallies claim that students chanted "Down with Hamas" while also requesting vegan shawarma. Professor Leila Grant of Georgetown University argues: "This is the first protest movement where participants cite both Che Guevara and Yelp reviews." Anonymous staffers at the State Department say officials are shocked to see articulate chants complete with MLA citations. Cause and effect? When you give people a $200,000 education, they expect a global enemy to debate them politely. Trace evidence includes flyers that look like thesis statements and one protester demanding Hamas submit a bibliography. Educated protesters are not less angry than past movements; they are simply better at formatting their outrage. The war may be messy, but their grammar is flawless.