Edging Session

Edging Session

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Health

By

Ashley Laderer

This article was medically reviewed by Sara Rosen , LMSW, MEd, a certified sex therapist at the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy.

Our stories are reviewed by medical professionals to ensure you get the most accurate and useful information about your health and wellness. For more information, visit our medical review board.

Ashley Laderer is a freelance writer from New York who specializes in health and wellness. Follow her on Twitter @ashladerer

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For many people, the goal during foreplay and sex is to orgasm as quickly as possible. However, for others, delayed gratification might be more of a turn-on than rushing into orgasm. Enter: edging.
Edging is when you intentionally stop stimulating yourself or a partner right before the point of orgasm, and then start up again and repeat the process until you're ready to have or give an orgasm.
Here's what you need to know about edging as well as how to do it either alone or with a partner.
Put simply, edging is the intentional delay and control of orgasm, says sex therapist Aida Manduley, LCSW , who practices at The Meeting Point . While to some people the concept may seem foreign and confusing, there are multiple reasons why you might want to engage in edging.
Depending on the situation and personal preferences, the duration of edging can vary.
"For some people, edging does end in orgasm in the same sexual session, while for some, the delay can span hours, days, months, or longer before an orgasm is achieved or allowed," says Manduley. Typically, the longer delays are a part of kink with power dynamics.
Despite all these benefits, edging may not be right for everyone. "For some people –– especially those who experience inconsistent arousal, difficulties staying present, or erectile difficulties –– edging can be tricky and lead to a 'lost orgasm' or 'ruined orgasm,' or getting out of the mood," says Manduley.
In and of itself, edging is safe, Manduley says. However, it depends on what methods someone is using for edging. If you're simply just stopping and holding off on stimulation, this is totally safe. But if you're getting kinky and doing something that meaningfully cuts off blood flow or numbs the genitals, for example, this could be dangerous.
It's a myth that people with penises can experience harm from being "backed up" with ejaculate due to edging. "Any sexual fluid that is produced but not expelled will get reabsorbed and/or broken down as needed," says Manduley.
The only other safety concern to consider is psychological. Manduley says you should never edge someone without consent. Always discuss edging with your partner first before doing it.
The overall concept of edging is not too complicated, and you can go about it however you'd like. "Think of it like driving around a house before pulling into the driveway. You can keep circling the house, you can pull a little bit into the driveway, then pull out, circle the house some more, and whenever you're ready, you can pull the car fully in. Or you can decide you just want to entirely drive off and not pull in at all," says Manduley.
It's a bit easier to edge during masturbation than it is to edge with a partner since there's no communication gap. Manduley says to follow these steps:
First off, make sure edging is consensual before diving in, and remember that communication is key. Our partners aren't mind readers, Manduley says. Follow these steps to edge with your partner:
Edging is an exciting and generally safe way to switch things up in the bedroom either solo or with a partner. There are multiple ways to go about it, and you can tailor the situation to your personal preferences for the most pleasure. If you're edging with a partner, remember that consent is key.

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