Edging Myself

Edging Myself
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Feeling that “big O” can be a tricky little sucker. Sometimes it’s easy — maybe reading Literotica or a frisky bout of car sex made it happen — and you get to enjoy the delicious warmth that radiates through your body. Other times, though? Not so much. So, what’s a grown-ass woman in charge of her sexuality to do? One word: edging. Edging means coming super close to orgasm… and then stopping yourself from really going there at the last minute. Sounds bananas, we know. Who would do that? But learning how to edge yourself is a great little tool to keep in your sex tool belt when it comes to making your orgasms better.
While the term has become more trendy as of late, the technique has actually been around since 1956 when it was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine by James H. Semans (a very apropos surname). He introduced edging as the “stop-start method” to help folks last longer before reaching orgasm. Longer sex, better orgasms? Sounds like edging is a win-win situation.
If you’re curious about giving edging a whirl, here’s what else you need to know about this steamy practice.
Think of edging as if you’re juuuuuust about to jump off the edge of a cliff but then, right before you pull the chute, you stop. Essentially, you get yourself to the point where you’re about to climax and hit the brakes. In keeping with the car analogy, imagine you’re driving. At 0 mph, you’re unaroused; 50 mph, you’re aroused; 100 mph, you’re having a full-blown orgasm. With edging, you want to be cruising around 80 mph.
Now, again, why on earth would you do this? Because when you’re able to perfect this practice in succession — meaning you edge, you pull back, you edge, you pull back — you’re preparing yourself to have one heck of an orgasm. Think of edging as the definition of anticipation when it comes to arousal.
While edging makes for a more satisfying orgasm for women, it serves a different purpose for men. As reported initially by Mr. Semans back in the day, edging for a man helps him avoid pre-ejaculating. If your partner is male, this is a plus for both of you — it not only helps him last longer in bed but also allows him to get in tune with his body. Think about it: If a man can control when and how he orgasms, he will be more present and confident in the sack. And that, well, it will only elevate your sex life.
Let’s not forget as well that edging is a fun and exciting exploration of your body, whether you’re with a partner or self-pleasuring.
Before you start learning how to edge, it’s important to know what it feels like when you’re aroused and ready to have an orgasm. Of course, orgasming is different for everyone, but it will generally look and feel like this:
Now you’re ready to edge yourself. It’s suggested that before edging with a partner, you first start practicing with yourself. That way, you’ll get to know your body’s rhythm more intimately (no pun intended) and can figure out what exactly your edge feels like.
No one wants to touch themselves and get all sexy when the kids are screaming, the fan is blaring, and you’re not feeling, you know, sexy. So, make sure to dedicate some alone time in a secluded area that is peaceful and makes you feel sensual AF.
Masturbating (or even learning to masturbate ) is an excellent opportunity to be intentional about your body. How does it feel when you touch yourself? In what ways do you like to be stimulated? How does your body respond? What subtle shifts are happening and when? These are good indicators of what to pay attention to when it comes to your state of arousal and how close you’re edging towards orgasm.
When you feel like you’re about to orgasm, stop yourself. We know, we know. But that’s the whole point of edging, remember?
Here comes more fun stuff! Now you get to pleasure yourself again and, again, get yourself to the point of coming before — you guessed it! — stopping.
After one or two times of the above, now you can go all the way and let yourself go for that big O.
Congratulations! You’ve just learned how to edge yourself. When doing this with a partner, it’s a good idea to take turns because our edging can’t always sync up with each other. Oh, well! It will still be an o-mazing experience for both of you!
Edging has several benefits and doesn’t really pose any health-related threats to the body. However, it can cause epididymal hypertension in some cases. This is when a person’s testicles feel soreness or aching caused by sexual stimulation that doesn’t end in an orgasm. It can also cause heaviness in the testes. But contrary to popular belief, edging does not cause erectile dysfunction.
This article was originally published on 6.8.2021

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This is beneficial for men who experience premature ejaculation. You will have better control over your orgasms and be able to stop yourself from climaxing in certain cases.
The name edging was given because you are taking yourself to the very edge, and then stopping all stimulation so that the orgasm is never reached.
This method is more effective with men due to their longer refractory period. Women can try this too, but it will not be as beneficial.
Before starting, one must learn about the different stages of arousal in order to know the best time to pull back.
For beginners, it is recommended to pull back at level 7. However, the goal of edging is to be able to pull back at level 9. After about 6 months of edging correctly, you will be able to skip PONR and experience dry orgasms.
Before you begin edging, you will need a quiet place, lubricant, and a timer. This can also be performed during masturbation or foreplay.
Step 1. Edging is best done while lying down with your eyes closed. Stimulate yourself until your penis is hard. Make sure to focus on how you feel so you are aware when you reach a certain level of arousal.
Step 2. Stroke your penis similar to masturbation. You may use a lubricant to do this. In this step, avoid touching the penile frenulum (the skin located under the center of the head) and the entire head. It is important not to stimulate them too soon as they are the most sensitive parts of the penis.
Step 3. For beginners, you may stop stimulating yourself when you reach level 4. This is when you start to feel really aroused but still feel it is easy to hold back your orgasm. On your next sessions, your goal is to stop yourself beyond level 4, gradually reach level 9, and still be able to stop and hold back your orgasm.
Step 4. If it becomes too difficult to hold back, stop completely and think of something different. It is helpful to inhale and exhale a few times to help yourself cool down. Make sure you are feeling all the sensation and not ignoring them (unless you are at your edge avoiding an orgasm). This is the key to becoming better at edging.
Step 5. When you start to feel that you are no longer going to orgasm, you can start stimulating yourself again. Some men are more sensitive, and will need to take a longer break. Repeat these steps for at least 20 minutes in every session. In some steps, you will be closer to orgasm than in others.
Step 6. It is up to you if you want to let yourself ejaculate. When you are ready to ejaculate, it is ok to stimulate the frenulum and head. Your orgasm will be much stronger and longer than usual. You will also more force when ejaculating (be careful not to take anyone’s eye out ). This can lead to cramps, so make sure to eat something and drink water before hand.
Every session, keep in mind that the goal is to be able to reach a higher level of arousal before stopping yourself.
It is okay not to reach level 8 or 9 in your first few weeks. Edging at a higher level may take more time for some, and becoming better comes with a regular practice.
When you feel that you have mastered edging, you may start doing the exercise by stroking the head as well.
When stopping right before an orgasm, you may experience strange orgasm variations. You may ejaculate without feeling the orgasm or you may feel the orgasm without ejaculating.
Those are normal and will allow you to learn more about yourself throughout the process.
Kegel is a pelvic floor muscle exercise that is very helpful when holding back your orgasm. This exercise involves flexing your pelvic floor muscles as if you are holding back your urine.
This article discusses the steps on how to perform Kegels properly.
Ballooning is a more complicated exercise where you stimulate yourself without ejaculating. It is also helpful with premature ejaculation.
With ballooning, you are supposed to stroke a specific part of your penis while doing reverse Kegels, then do some Kegels when you feel like you are about to orgasm.
This exercise must be done for 30 minutes to one hour. Not allowing yourself to ejaculate will result in a bigger flaccid penis and a much harder erection.

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Climax (Expulsion phase of ejaculation)
PONR (Point of No Return). A phase where it is impossible to hold back an orgasm.
Extremely aroused, close to ejaculation (Emission phase)
Aroused, but still able to hold back orgasm easily

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This article was medically reviewed by Sara Rosen , LMSW, MEd, a certified sex therapist at the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy.

Our stories are reviewed by medical professionals to ensure you get the most accurate and useful information about your health and wellness. For more information, visit our medical review board.

Ashley Laderer is a freelance writer from New York who specializes in health and wellness. Follow her on Twitter @ashladerer

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