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There's an easy little tweak that makes the action you two have go from good to spank-bank worthy. Go on, scroll down...this sexy secret can't wait.
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When Jada Pinkett Smith said recently that she keeps things hot with husband Will Smith by being spontaneous — sexting, sending naughty photos, and having quickies — we rolled our eyes. Could they be any more TMI?! But we had to admit the woman must be onto something. After all, she and Big Willie have been married 12 years and are apparently still going at it like newbies.
"Even in good relationships, couples fall into the routine of something called 'scripted sex', doing the same thing over and over," says certified sex and relationship therapist Megan Fleming, PhD . It usually happens after two or three years, but can start as early as a few months in, according to her. And even scarier, scripted sex tends to turn into less sex. "It's important to be cognizant of when your sexual encounters are becoming predictable, and take action to make them more spontaneous," explains Fleming. You don't have to go all grand gesture on your guy; the idea is to keep him on his toes so he never knows what racy little move is coming next. Here are some ideas.
Print out these ways to turn typically mundane activities into naughty sex, and keep them with you at all times. You never know when inspiration will strike. Oh, and be a good friend: e-mail or Tweet the link to your girls. They — and their guys — will owe you big time.
1. Suggest bringing the car to the carwash . Once you're rolling through the tunnel on the conveyer, reach over, undo his pants, and go down on him. It's road head without the danger of crashing or getting pulled over by the cops. No worries if he doesn't climax by the time the wash cycle is over; just head straight home to finish what he'll now think of as the hottest foreplay he ever received.
2. Wear racy lingerie under ratty old workout clothes . Tell him you're heading to the gym and ask him to stretch you out first. Give him a little peek at what you're working with then wonder aloud if there's a more fun way to burn the calories than hitting the Stairmaster.
3. The next time you're grocery shopping together, pick up whipped cream . Say, "We'll be needing this when we get home." Then tell him he can choose a few more foods that he'll get to eat off of you later. The checkout girl will have no idea why you two are grinning.
4. Set your alarm 15 minutes before you have to be up, strip down (if you're not already naked), and take his hand in yours . Guide it over your body, lingering on your nipples and rubbing your naughty bits. It's a big bang way to wake him up, but less expected than doing it with oral. And remember, guys love a woman who craves pleasure and takes matters into her own hands...literally.
5. Call 267-SLYDIAL, a free service that allows you to go right to someone's cell voicemail without it ringing . Enter in your guy's number then leave a message of nothing but you moaning. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, pull up a porn clip and play the sounds of them moaning. Then say that you're looking forward to seeing him later. The surprise of getting such a dirty message will shock him in a good way. And since you don't know when he'll listen to it, you'll be in a sexed up, anticipating state of mind too.
6. Instead of fast-forwarding through the commercials on your DVR , toss the remote aside and let him know that during every break, you're going to take off one item of clothing and he has to kiss each area as it comes into view. Our guess? You'll be doing it right there on the couch by the time the "Save or Delete" option pops up at the end of the recorded show.
7. Leave a pair of underwear in his glove box . Then call him on his way home from work one day when you're feeling horny and say you think you left your sunglasses in there. When he finds your vickies, his mindset will go from zoned out commuter to horny instantly.
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Y’all, we’re busy. Every single one of us. And sadly, sometimes that means our sex lives fall by the wayside. It’s not intentional. It just kind of happens — and when we finally realize that we aren’t having sex with our partner as much as we should and start to seek out hot sex tips to get things going again, we’re a little less limber in the getting-it-on department.
There’s no way we’re going to be able to pull off all of the crazy antics and sex positions that a lot of articles suggest.
That’s why we’re bringing it back to the basics.
If you’re on the hunt for your lost orgasm, some simple and totally subtle sex moves are all you and your partner need to get back in the game. And you don’t even have to be a contortionist to pull these puppies off.
Sexy moments can strike when you least expect them. So seize the chance to spice up a night on the couch. Sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., suggests having your partner use their fingertips to slowly, gently caress your skin.
“The light, sensual touch creates a tingling sensation that will wake up your body while also relaxing you for sex,” says Dr. Brame.
Back in high school, you probably had rules for how far you’d go: under the shirt, over the pants, and so on. Well, the teenage you was on to something. “It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other over your underwear, teasing and stroking through the fabric,” says sex coach Patti Britton, Ph.D. “You’re building up the anticipation, so when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it’ll be that much more explosive and exciting.”
Let’s be honest: Most people are just grateful to be getting a oral sex . But that’s no excuse to rest on your laurels. Rather than simply moving up and down, use your tongue to slowly wind around his member or her clitoris.
“Swirl up the shaft with the tip of your tongue . When you’re at the top, slide your whole mouth down and then up, with a sucking motion,” suggests sex therapist Carole Altman, Ph.D., author of Don’t Have Sex Again Until You Read This Book.
Rather than simply making a beeline for your partner’s below-the-belt region, create a slow burn with featherlight kisses. Start by kissing eyelashes, then the corner of the mouth, the jaw, and the collarbone. Next, kiss your partner’s nipples, chest, down along the treasure trail and over to one hip bone, then the other.
“You’re building up anticipation as you make that slow, seductive crawl,” says Altman. “And the randomness of your kisses keeps nerves on high alert as his/her brain and body try to figure out where you’re going next.”
For greater stimulation in missionary position, try this: “Hook your knees over your partner’s shoulders,” suggests Britton. “The angle puts more pressure on the clitoris, giving you a better chance of achieving orgasm.” Clench your butt and lift your pelvis to create more friction and make your climactic moment even more mind-blowing.
Give a jolt during sex by gently nipping your partner’s shoulders or earlobe. “When you’re in the heat of passion, you may go more into your head than your body,” explains Brame. “A little pain snaps you both back to the moment.”
You love you-on-top because you can control the speed, angle, and motion; your partner loves you-on-top because he/she can just lie back and watch. But what lazybones might not realize is that sitting up can enhance the pleasure even more. “Not only can you both do more with your arms and hands, but the sex is also more intimate with your torsos pressed together,” says Britton.
A little unpredictability during sex can make the experience even more intense for you. “While in missionary, have your partner tease you by mixing up the movements: slipping in just a little, going in halfway, and thrusting deeply, in random order,” suggests Britton. Two short strokes followed by a long one, three deep ones in a row followed by two quick teases…you get the point.
Although your inner bad girl may get off on the idea of being caught in the act, the real you may not feel right about sneaking off to a bar bathroom. But you can feed any secret exhibitionist appetites by doing the deed in front of a window with the lights out. “Stand up against the window, facing out,” says Britton. You’ll get a rush from just the possibility of being watched.
No matter what position you’re in, you can enhance the experience by gently exhaling on each other’s skin. “You’re already feeling pleasure in your genitals, but this move adds soft, steamy heat to other sensitive areas like your neck, your nipples, or the inside of your wrists, giving you tingles from head to toe,” says Britton.
“In order to orgasm from oral sex, you need him/her to use consistent, steady strokes,” explains Britton. “The easiest way to do that is by licking up and down.” But you’re more likely to orgasm when his/her tongue is running across your clitoris. The solution: Your partner should be perpendicular to you (in a “T” shape), lying on his/her side. Working the tongue will be easier, and it’s an angle that’s optimal for your pleasure.
Put a spin on oral sex by getting a third party in on the action — a sex toy .
“While your partner is pleasuring you, have him/her lay a vibrating bullet against the cheek,” suggests Olivia St. Claire, author of 302 Advanced Techniques for Driving a Man Wild in Bed. “It creates a hum that’s not too intense.”
You can put an extra-special twist on intercourse just by clenching your pubococcygeus muscle (the same muscle you use to stop and start the flow when you’re peeing).
“Squeeze the muscle tight around him and then let go as more of his length moves in,” says St. Claire. “Squeeze again as he pulls almost out. Then repeat with each thrust.”
This creates a tight pressure around his penis, as though you’re massaging it. The benefit for you: Your clenching motion creates pleasurable tension in your G spot and clitoris, making orgasm easier to achieve — and more explosive.
Who doesn’t love getting naked? Still, there’s something so primal about clothes-on sex. While wearing a skirt or dress, get on the edge of the bed.
“It’s a spontaneous, must-have-you-now move,” says Britton.
Try this hands-on approach to increasing sensation during intercourse: Form a ring with two fingers and your thumb and gently hold down the skin at the base of his penis.
“Pulling his loose skin taut brings the nerve endings closer to the surface, making him more sensitive,” explains St. Claire.
Here’s another way to make you-on-top more interesting: Squat over your partner rather than straddling him.
“By supporting yourself on your feet, you get better ease of motion,” explains St. Claire. “You can bounce higher and have more control of your movements, so your pleasure is intensified.”
There are a million ways to adjust to achieve the perfect, er, fit.
“If you want more friction during missionary, slide your legs together so that they’re between your partner’s,” suggests Brame. “You’ll have to start out with your legs flat on the bed, outside of theirs.”
For deeper penetration, spread your legs wider with your knees up.
When it comes to his below-the-belt area, you’re probably more focused on the star than the supporting players. But you can make sex a heightened experience for him by stroking his testicles. “Softly massaging the area increases blood flow to his pelvic region, increasing his arousal and sensitivity,” says Brame. “Then, as he’s about to orgasm, gently tug on the loose skin around the ‘boys’ to amplify his big finish.”
Call him/her your prisoner of love and they’ll laugh. But pin him/her to the bed and they’ll know you mean business.
“You can take a fun and playful approach to the whole domination thing by pinning hands down while you’re on top,” says Brame. “It’s a delicious tease because all he/she wants to do is touch you, and you’re not allowing it.” Of course, if you’d prefer that your partner take control, just ask!
You already know that the neck is a sensitive spot — little shivers and moans when you nibble at your partner’s throat should clue you in. Still, there are a few nooks that will elicit even more of a “yowza!” reaction.
“The line that runs from behind his/her ear down to the crook where his/her neck meets his shoulder is especially sensitive,” says Britton. “You can lightly kiss other lesser-known hot spots as well, like along the jawbone and even the back of his/her neck.”
Your partner may think they have seen every trick in the book, but show that you’re still full of surprises with this oral sex move: While down south, slip your finger into your mouth and stroke him.
“The unexpected texture makes it a pleasurable treat for him,” explains St. Claire. The creativity alone will give him a rush since it’s something he’s probably never experienced before. For women, your partner can create a similar sensation by using their fingers and their tongue at the same time in different places.
Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc. Originally Published: 21 Little Sex Moves That Will Rock Your World (and His!)
Originally published January 2008. Updated August 2019.
Before you go, check out our 69 (nice) sex positions to try before you die:
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by Alisa Hrustic Published: Aug 28, 2020
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Alisa Hrustic Deputy Editor, Prevention
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For when missionary and doggy style just ain't cutting it.
After the thousandth time, missionary position may no longer cut it for you and your partner. The same might go for doggy style and its many variations. This doesn't necessarily mean your sex drives are waning, or that you and your partner need to call it quits. It could just be that you need to switch things up! Yes, even, sex gets boring after a while if you keep having it the same exact way.
There are two simple ways to update your sexual repertoire when things start to grow stale. The first is to incorporate sex toys into your sex life. The second is to try some crazy sex positions . This piece is going to focus on the latter. (But if you are interested in sprucing up your sex life with toys, head here to see our top sex toy recommendations for couples.)
Don’t worry, even though we say “crazy” sex positions, we included positions that most couples can do. (Excluding The Maypole. You’re going to need hella strong quads and glutes to pull off that bad boy.) But as for the rest of the positions, you should be fine. Yes, they require some strength and flexibility, but if you take your time entering the position, there shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
So without further ado, here are 12 wild sex positions you and your partner can try out the next time you go at it. And of course, don’t immediately skip to full P-in-V/B penetration. Make sure to start with some heavy-duty foreplay and get your fingers involved if you want your partner to enjoy the experience.
Why it’s awesome: This twist on missionary position increases clitoral stimulation for your partner, says sex researcher Nicole Prause, Ph.D. In fact, past research has found that women who had trouble reaching orgasm during missionary position were more likely to orgasm using the coital alignment technique.
How to try it: Start in missionary position and shift your body up and over to one side. Rock forward and back instead of thrusting up and down to help you maintain direct contact with her clitoris, says Prause.
Why it’s awesome: It’s versatile, says sex counselor Eric M. Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex . She gets to control the depth and speed, but it allows you to thrust at the same time, which can be hard to do with a bed fully underneath you, he says. Plus, both of your hands are tot
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