Easter Date Confusion Causes Global Panic
Is Today Easter'SHOCKING REVELATION: Is Today EASTER? Millions Left Confused by Date Dilemma!'
By: Tabloid Tina
BREAKING NEWS – In a twist that has left egg hunts in chaos and chocolate bunnies melting in uncertainty, people across the globe are frantically asking: Is today EASTER?!
The Great Easter Mystery
Every year, Easter Sunday hops around the calendar like a hyperactive bunny, leaving even the most devoted churchgoers scratching their heads. This year, whispers spread like wildfire after a viral TikTok claimed, 'EASTER IS TODAY—DID YOU MISS IT?!'
Panic ensued.
The Truth Unscrambled
We consulted Reverend Bill Blessington, who assured us, 'Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox—or, in layman's terms, it’s complicated.'
So, is today Easter? NO! (Unless you're reading this on March 31, 2024—then YES!)
Conspiracy Theories Run Wild
Some skeptics claim Big Calendar is behind the confusion to sell more planners. Others blame a shadowy cabal of Peeps manufacturers. One thing’s for sure—millions of kids are now demanding double the chocolate to make up for the scare.
What You Need to Know
Next Easter: March 31, 2024 (Mark your calendars—or don’t, and live in blissful ignorance!)
This Just In: A man in Ohio allegedly ate an entire Easter ham 'just in case.'
Stay tuned for more breaking holiday drama—and remember, if you see a bunny with a clipboard, RUN. 🐰🔥
#EasterGate #CalendarChaos #EggEmergency
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