Dwindle Beam: It Shall Never Fade

Life must have treated them unfairly ever since their parents died from an accident ten years ago, keeping the soaked socks and broken shoes on by themselves now. Nicholas, Kanya, Marceline, also the adopted middle child— Reve, have been leaning on each other's shoulder to feel the safe. An eldest sibling could not get a choice but hammering over thousand piece of metals to maintain their lives, Nicholas—with small help from Reve—indeed did a good job saving their little twin birds. Not much yet enough, living under a roof without being scared of storm already had them kneeling over gratitude.

Kanya and Marceline went to the same high school, they are in the same grade also. Almost everyday, Reve will pick them up from school after his college course— never think of using fancy truck, but three of them are going to walk way back home, it feels better when we are doing it together, they said. Priceless laughter and big smile adorning the busy sidewalk, people were in their own world and so are they.

“What the hell did you guys go through?” Nicholas welcomed his three siblings who just arrived home with a death stare.

Marceline swallowed her own saliva before answering, “Kanya accidentally fell down inside the gutter...”

Dirty and stinks, those two are the only words that can describe Kanya's condition once she came home right now. Gladfully her uniform will not be used again tomorrow, if it does, they would rather drop out of school.

“Hehe...” Kanya smiled shamelessly.

Nicholas sighed heavily, “You all, wait here,” with his forefinger pointing at each of them.

After few seconds, Nicholas came back with an old camera in his palms. He quickly took a photo of them altogether like a criminal mugshot, they cannot escape the eldest brother who ruled their whole house, unfortunately.

“27 of July 2021, I have written the date in my memory so you, little kiddos, better not let this happen again in the future,” He said with a cold tone as usual, keeping the old camera inside his pocket,

“Get yourself cleaned up, now!”

Not even a second after Nicholas finished his sentence, Reve, Kanya, and Marceline have disappeared from his sight. The eldest shook his head disbelief, letting out the old camera again from his pocket while walking towards nearby chair, sit down for a while.

A broad smile slowly curved upon Nicholas' tired face as he pushed the small left-and-right button on his old camera, showing off every picture it has taken these entire times. One of the most important thing he has; an old camera which filled with memories from yesteryears. Kanya and Marceline's first day of school photo, Reve's documentation when he won his first gold medal on ice skating competition, and bunch of pictures when their family was still as complete as a new bottle of soy sauce. People might not be forever, but surely memories may, he wants to capture everything so it will be everlasting.

Nicholas' weakness is his own siblings, no matter how rebel they are, he would not be mad for too long. His tiredness would get swept away once he arrived home seeing those little birds running all over the house try not to get caught. He is beyond grateful the twin sisters Kanya and Marceline could still have their childhood embraced, althought his and Reve's had lost.

“We are preparing for dinner, do you want to join or keep staring at the camera?” Reve stood up in between the door, had Nicholas' dreamy world cracked.

Nicholas did not answer but smiling, “Sit down,” he commanded.

Reve seated himself right in front of his older brother, facing him, letting silence came over for minutes.

“You have worked hard, Nicho,”

“I am happy to see my little birds happy,”

“Am I your little bird too?”

Reve's sudden question had Nicholas stopped looking at his camera, even he put it down to pay him more attention as they speak. “Of course you are, three of you are my little birds. Why did you ask like that?” Nicholas moved his seat to Reve's side. “Did something bother your mind?” he added.

“You worked for three of us from dusk until dawn, I can only help a little piece of it, and...” Reve looked down in shame,

“I think it would be easier for you to fill the family needs if I am not here, I should have stayed at the orphanage back then.” he continued.

Nicholas' heart dropped to his stomach as he heard what Reve talked about. He pulled Reve into his embrace, caressing the younger brother's back while keep shaking his head to say “No” repeatedly. As an eldest, he knows that everything they have been through was hitting them like a cluster of arrows— stabbing through their bones and the pain could never be forgotten, but there was no single thought inside his mind to think that any of his sibling makes it harder, instead, their presence around Nicholas turned him into a stronger soldier each second they spent together within lifetime.

Reve cries his heart out on Nicholas' chest, deep down inside his mind, he keeps thinking about what if someday his older brother got too tired being the head of this family. He knew how Nicholas did not experience any beautiful thing in his childhood, it must have been exhausting to keep the family member alive by himself after all those wounds.

“KOKOOOO! WE RAN OUT OF SOY SAUCE!” a loud scream broke down the mellow atmosphere between Nicholas and Reve, it was Kanya's voice, had them immediately paused their tears as Marceline come with Kanya to approach them both at the terrace.

“Ko— huh?! Why is Ko Reve crying? What did you do, Nicholas?!!” Kanya said, almost made Nicholas explode by calling him only by name.

“I did not do anything! He is just having a moment!”

“Koko, are you okay?” Marceline asked, worrying, followed by Reve's nod, sweeping away his tears.

Kanya grunted, giving the eldest a mad stare, “Me and Marceline are going to buy a bottle of soy sauce, we cannot finish our dish without it,” she uttered.

“Yes, it is our new recipe! You would love it for sure! A brief disclaimer that it is not an experiment like before, this time is truly the real work,” Marceline happily added.

Nicholas took a deep breath, “You cannot trick me to buy something unnecessary instead of soy sauce. I will come with you two, let's go!”

“And leave Ko Reve alone?? Are you serious?”

“Have you lost your mind??”

Kanya and Marceline seem to be surprised, how can a sibling let one of them left out alone at home while the others are outside? Knowing Reve has just finished his cries nearly two minutes ago.

“I am fine, go get the soy sauce so we can finish the dish as soon as possible, okay?” Reve encouraged which get a nod as reply from those three people in front of him.

“Okay,”

Nicholas, Kanya, and Marceline are starting to fade from Reve's eyesight. Now, he is here, all by himself in this old house. He took the camera then going through its gallery as Nicholas just did before.

Beautiful, he whispered. It almost feels like swimming throughout a pool full of flowers, everything dwelled in that camera had him merrily amused. Reve notices, his sibling's arms are always encircling around him— shoulders, neck, or merely hands, it was as cozy as being hugged at. How warm a family should be.

Though they might not be blood-related, Reve was never a stranger for them, he has always been their precious younger or older brother. Skimming through those pictures, grasping the fact that time flies so fast, especially ten years ago until now. Nicholas was still in a primary school band, while Kanya and Marceline were still waving back to him before going to school, learning to spell— Reve thought it was yesterday, not years ago.

He is wholeheartedly grateful to have this family.

Two hours of having a flashback to memories, Reve finally realized that it is already late but his siblings did not come home yet. “Maybe they are having fun somewhere first, let me clean the house,” he said.

Without any further ado, Reve went inside and started cleaning the house. From sweeping to dishes, he makes sure there is no dust flying around his place to stay. Music is on, he did it while dancing freely himself like the other sibling who are now going somewhere to have fun. Several pieces of importance such as a long-lost polaroid and a key that Nicholas forgot where the last time he put at got found by Reve, this is why he should be scrubbing the house more often starting from now, he thinks.

He was about to continue to their bathroom when all of sudden, he heard someone is knocking the door. It is a stranger, a man who got sweaty like he was doing marathon.

The man handed a plastic bag to Reve, oh, it is the bottle of soy sauce his sibling might have bought. But, why?

“Where are—”

“We cannot save them... I am sorry,”

“What does that mean?”

“Car accident.”

A lightning struck his chest off, he could not breathe for a moment. The man hurriedly guides Reve to meet his siblings, he is running until his leg suffers from massive ache. He does not care, he will not care about anything no more. Please, please, please. Soaked shirt that comes with Reve refused to survive from the raining tears.

His soul is nowhere to be found. Kneeling down from where his three siblings are bathing in a load of blood, their chest are not pumping anymore. Reve's face and palms were covered in red fluid, he hugged them as one— rubbing his face against theirs miserably. He cried out loud. He screamed. He is too weak to hold himself. Reddened face, teary-eyed, wounded knees, how worst could it possibly be?

Reve lost his saneness, he lost his soul, he lost everything.

“God, please... do not take them from me... they are all I have... please, please, please... I am pleading like a sinful soul begging for mercy... oh, God, please help me...”

And it was all blurry.

Everything is now clear, as clear as the sky when Reve's siblings are buried together. Folded himself poorly on the gravestone, swollen face with his helpless body. A small polaroid he held, he would never let go. His head is empty, so does his eyes.

“How? How could I continue my life without them? I have nothing, I have no one. Nicho... Kanya... Marceline... Please come back...”

A minute before someone hugged Reve's shoulder, resting their head on his back. He is still crying, he is crawling onto the grave, his claws are still digging the dirt.

And Reve, they took him back to orphanage.

His home before Nicho, Kanya, and Marceline.