Drunk Teens Having Sex
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Drunk Teens Having Sex
In intimate detail, one woman describes the first time she *almost* had sex during her freshman year at NYU.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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Drunk women always seem to be a lot more work than drunk dudes. That’s why I love watching them in movies, where they can’t bother me with their exaggerated fountains of puke and teardrops. Keep them at a safe distance and I can watch their stupid shit all night long. This partly explains my recent ‘Jersey Shore’ fascination. Is it ironic that I got shit-faced while writing this and dropped my iPod in the toilet? While pissing? Maybe, but at least I didn’t cry about it. Much.
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Home » Movie News » Top 10 Favorite Movie Drunk Chicks
Before this character was absolutely butchered in KINGDOM OF THE HELPER MONKEYS she owned a sweet-ass bar where she drank big burly foreign men under the table and took their money as she rolled their giant pussies out the door. When Indiana Jones showed up for a piece she punched him the face for being an asshole and fucked a donkey right in front of him (deleted scene). She did all this and laughed as she pounded another shot.
Probably the most realistic drunk chick on the list since I’ve seen this scene played out dozens of times of the years. And it was usually my girlfriend (of the moment) reacting to the fact that I wanted to go down on the ugliest redheaded bitch in the room.
I’m raising my daughter as an Amish woman. There’s way less a chance she drinks herself slutty and fucks an entire football team that way. Call me foolish if you will but I’ve done the research. And I like butter.
This is why I thank Jebus my dating-scene days are well behind me. I mean, look at that hat, it’s awful. Seriously though, every single woman in her mid-thirties or over is exactly like this. It’s weird.
You think it bothers Anna Faris that her characters are always dumb as shit? Midgets get typecast less. Brandi is the perfect girl to bring home to your mother, if your mother is a raging alcoholic. They’ll either love each other or fight to the death. All you gotta do is bring the Tequila Rose.
Monica’s whole storyline in this film is fantastic. The fact that she gets plastered and misses most of it is even better. I once threw a New Year’s Eve party and got drunk because nobody showed up. When I woke up I realized it was December 27th.
You wanna be a hero and pound absinthe from the bottle? Then don’t bitch when you make out with your brother on the dance floor. In fact, thank Christ you’re out in public and nowhere near a bed, you crazy slut. I’m pretty sure someone slipped this to me one night at Harpos in Michigan. The thing I woke up next to in the morning was all the proof I needed. My friends suck.
There are definitely some other factors at work for Penny here but no matter how many pills she pops during the night, you’ll always find her sucking on the knob-end of a glass bottle by sunrise. I’m beginning to think drunk chicks hate bras.
Now this is more the the drunk girls I grew up with – a bra full of tissues and the tolerance of an eight-year-old. Just when you’re about to get some action she blacks out like she was hit by a train. Then the little Angel and Devil show up to teach you the dos and donts of rape. All in all, it’s a riot.
Not your traditional drunk chick but pretty hilarious none-the-less. We can all only wish we were this sophisticated, witty, and conscious when we drown our sorrows. I once saw an older woman get drunk and punch a dog in the face. Terry Ann would not approve.
Remember when I said as long as they’re in the movies they wouldn’t bother me? Well, this chick bothered me. A lot. It’s like having way too much of a good thing. There’s an entire sub-plot going on with this woman that feels like it scratching my eyeballs out every time she appears on screen. Thus, our very first dishonorable mention. Yay.
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SOUTH AMHERST, Ohio – Authorities in the small Lorain County town of South Amherst are investigating the circumstances that led to the creation of a video showing underage teen-agers having sex while young classmates watched, 19/43 News' Bill Younkin reported.
The teens involved were all students at Firelands High School. Firelands students, including senior Jim Wilgor, said that they've heard about the videotape, which shows a 15-year-old girl and 16-year-old boy having sex in front of other students.
"I don't think it's right, and I think they should be punished," Wilgor said.
Deputies said that the incident apparently took place on a late Friday night in the 16-year-old boy's home.
"There are quite a few people involved, as far as witnesses go -- witnesses who were there," Sheriff's investigator Det. Carl Yost said.
Yost said he believes that the girl was a voluntary participant. He said that the girl's mother found the tape, and called the sheriff's department.
The South Amherst community, including those people at Dewey's Barber Shop on Tuesday, is just starting to hear about the investigation, and they are in shock because their idea of children at play certainly doesn't include what is on the tape.
"It's ridiculous," Paul Shank said. "They have no morals whatsoever."
"It's unbelievable," barber Dewey Acord said. "It just doesn't make sense for young kids to get involved in stuff like that."
Now, the teens face a lot of questioning by not only detectives, but their parents as well.
Investigators said that they hope to wrap up the investigation and hand over the facts to the county prosecutor by the end of the week.
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