Doughnut Porn

Doughnut Porn
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There's no better way to celebrate National Doughnut Day than eating a beautiful doughnut or two or three. But when it's National Doughnut Day, a regular, glazed doughnut just isn't good enough to satisfy your needs (even if a regular, glazed doughnut on any other day is undeniably delicious). On National Doughnut Day, which falls on the first Friday in June, you want to treat yourself to something over-the-top, to a doughnut that takes the whole notion of doughnuts to the next level. You want something that'll make jaws drop and mouths water and might even classify, in the most technical sense, as doughnut porn . And there's really no shame in that.
That's mainly because National Doughnut Day is as good a day as any to get your hands on the most over-the-top doughnuts, since many doughnut shops and bakeries take advantage of the holiday to offer their most insane creations. And insane isn't a bad thing when it comes to doughnuts. We're talking doughnuts with ice cream, doughnuts shaped like cartoon characters, even doughnut burgers.
So put that browser into private mode, make sure your coworkers aren't peeking over your shoulder, and take a look at five restaurants across the United States that are offering up some delicious doughnut porn this National Doughnut Day. (And be quick! Some of these doughnuts will only be around for a day.)
The Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square is partnering with Entenmann's for National Doughnut Day this year, with a couple of totally over-the-top burgers that are served on doughnut buns. The first is the Glazed Breakfast Donut Burger, which is a six ounce burger, "topped with cheddar cheese, an over easy egg and bacon, nestled between two moist and sweet Entenmann's Glazed Donuts."
The Sweet and Spicy Donut Burger is one you might want to eat with a fork and knife, since it comes served on two chocolate frosted doughnuts. It's a four ounce patty "topped with Parmesan cheese, grilled pineapple, jalapeno salsa and bacon, sandwiched between two delicious Entenmann’s Rich Frosted Donuts." But, like the Glazed Breakfast Donut Burger, it's only available on National Doughnut Day this year.
Dough is a bakery located in Tampa, Florida, that serves up both house-made doughnuts and house-made ice cream. So of course they mashed the two up into one perfect dessert. Called the Doughnut Ice Cream Sammies, it's a cake doughnut, sliced in two, that "serves as the cradle for a hearty scoop of ice cream." The one pictured above? A sprinkle doughnut with vanilla bean and raspberry stripe ice cream.
Dough's sister restaurant is Datz , and they take doughnut burgers to the next level. The Double D has got two burger patties, sandwiched between two whole glazed doughnuts and piled high with all of the fixings, including pickles, onions, bacon, and American and Swiss cheeses.
You've probably spotted California Donuts on your Instagram feed before, even if you didn't know about the Los Angeles-based bakery. They're known for creating adorable doughnuts, shaped like pandas or topped with rainbow cereal. So it should come as little surprise that the bakery collaborated with arguably the cutest cartoon of them all for National Doughnut Day: Care Bears. California Donuts will be selling these rad Care Bear-shaped doughnuts from June 2 until September 9 (which is Care Bears annual holiday Share Your Care Day).
If you don't want to leave your house to get a doughnut for National Doughnut Day, you could always order one off of UberEATS. The food delivery service released some data about users’ donut-eating habits in honor of the holiday, and it turns out that Miami actually loves their doughnuts. The most popular doughnut to order on UberEATS is the original glazed doughnut from the Salty Donut , followed up by the Miami shop's maple bacon doughnut. It's a brioche doughnut topped with "pure maple glaze, J.Wakefield UJP Porter Redux, and Miami Smokers bacon cracklings."
Meanwhile, at the Teak Neighborhood Grill in Orlando, Florida, you can find the most expensive doughnut on UberEATS. It's the Glazed Doughnut Burger, made by sandwiching a half-pound Angus beef patty between two warm glazed doughnuts, with American cheese and crispy bacon. And the whole thing will cost you $13—but at least if you order it from UberEATS, you don't have to put on pants or eat it in public. And that's probably the best way to celebrate National Doughnut Day at all.
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Lost in the Chaos
Random thoughts on life, motherhood, cancer and finding my way through it all….

Jelly |

October 13, 2010 at 8:02 pm

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Warning – I suspect this post could take a turn for the worse at any time so don’t be surprised.
I don’t think I mentioned that my daughters love to watch Man V. Food and saw a place called Voodoo Doughnut on the Portland, Oregon episode. They asked me to go there and get them some goodies while I was at the marathon. I thought I might also buy them t-shirts, until I got there and saw this logo on the shirts:
Now you might think that’s just a harmless little tagline but I should mention that the doughnuts available include the “Butterfingering” – a frosted cake doughnut topped with crushed butterfingers – and the “Cock-N-Balls” which is in fact a very LARGE chocolate frosted penis. With equally large balls and Bavarian cream filling.
Since I’m pretty sure I don’t want my girls advertising their “magic holes”, I skipped the shirts. My charming gay friend who was with me agreed and since he’s much more in tune to the nuances of that particular Portland neighborhood I took his advice.
I was going to take a picture of the Cock-N-Balls but my friend was all “Hey look, it has a ureter”. I tried to explain that’s where they shoot in the cream filling but that just made things worse and I got distracted.
However , they also have cute little voodoo dolls – complete with raspberry (blood) filling and a little pretzel stick pin – so I went with a box of those. I also sprang for a couple of fruit loop covered ones and one called an Orangatang which was frosted and topped with tang and sprinkles.
The 2nd fruit loop didn't make it long enough for photos
I was excited that they came in a cool pink box and made sure I asked for one to bring home. It wasn’t until I was in the shower yesterday (I do my best thinking there) that I started to question the other tagline on the box. I’m a little slow that way. See for yourself:
Something tells me they aren’t talking about the cardboard kind of box. Science Guy thought I had my mind in the gutter until I told him about the doughnut menu. Now he’s turned it into a pickup line which honestly, I don’t think is going to work in his favor. I mean really, can anyone expect me not to lose it if he’s commenting on the good things in my pink box? Oh don’t look at me like that. I told you this post would eventually go to hell in a handbasket.
I Think We Could Call This a Crabby Day February 2, 2011 In "Mamma needs wine"
This made me laugh so hard. “magic holes” – ha! Yeah, that place sounds a little risque for the under 21-set. Who knew doughnuts were so trendy and retro? So Sex-In-A-Box?
Yup, pretty much sex-in-a-box. A pink box to be exact – whose pink box is the only question.
I had a voodoo guy for breakfast. He was tastey!
OH.EM.GEE … I was laughing my butt off… That is too funny… Were they at least good???
They really were! I forgot to mention I also bought each girl the texas challenge doughnut – the equivelent of 6 glazed doughnuts in 1. They took them in their lunches. Made me mom of the year but I’m expecting a call from their teachers any moment. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. Why not right?
That is hilarious. And makes me actually glad I’m diabetic.
Just the smell in that place would have been bad for you!
I love VooDoo doughnuts! The one I went to was on Burnside Ave., I think, and it was filled with teenage meth addicts. Just part of their charm.
We went to that one AND the one on 3rd. We had to find the texas challenge ones for my girls because i’m such a quality parent i told them they have them in their lunches. Sugar comas be damned!
Oh, and the meth addicts are still where you left them.
I really want one of those shirts, just so people do a double take when they see me on the street
Check their website – they might ship them. Lots of color choices – and underwear with the same logo
seriously am going to look into getting some shipped to me. i’m a sucker for cupcakes, but donuts are a close-freakin-second! this place is right up my alley. butterfingering. HA!
it’s not my pink box, though. I’ve had kids. Ahem.
Be sure to check out their website – there are pics of most of the doughnut choices.
I’m a little late to the party, but I had to comment anyhow. This is hilarious! Subtle or not, it’s a pretty clever use of innuendo, eh?
You know, usually I just feel guilty when I let myself eat donuts. These would make me feel guilty *and* a little bit dirty, I’m afraid!
My kids would totally love them — they’d be over the moon for the Froot Loops and Tang ones. I’ll have to check out their website. Thanks for the tip!
~Christy
Guilty and dirty are a fun combination!
Hey! I live near VooDoo Doughnuts! I take my daughters there all the time. They always want the Cock and Balls because it the largest doughnut on the menu, and I always say no. Snort!
I won’t link that here because I always find it really annoying when people do that. But email me, babe. I have SUCH a funny story to share with you. So worth it. Email me.
alright – email on the way. I want the story.
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