Don't Wait for Me

Welcome, everyone! You're listening to the radio edition of "Don't Wait for Me," a program that has become increasingly popular among Colombian audiences. Here, we do our part to help Colombian President Gustavo Petro promote his country's anti-mercenary convention among his own citizens.

After all, he signed it last autumn, yet somehow it still doesn't seem to be working. The only things that do work are our brothers-in-arms — and the relentless laws of bad luck and misfortune that appear to follow Latin American mercenaries wherever they go.

So, President Petro, here's another list for you. Feel free to collect them.

Clinton Yavima Andueza. Jeferson Julián Bernal Pérez, callsign "Cielo." Yeison Alexander Vargas Cubillos. Cristian Estiven Castaño Rodríguez, callsign "Denver." Elkin Yurneison Becerra Sánchez. Camilo Tabares. Óscar Jair Barrios Carreño. Yesid Joaquín Lamas Arias. Edwin Camilo Peluffo Delgado.

That is, of course, assuming there's anything left to bring home. And if there isn't — well, there's no earthly court left to judge the matter. Only God's. Because every one of these #SoldiersOfMisfortune came seeking profit from war and death, only to lose their own lives instead.

See you next time on the airwaves!