Don T Have Sex
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Don T Have Sex
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Intensive care medicine specialist, chief medical officer, Flo Health Inc., UK
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Physical health
Mental health
The benefits of not having sex
What happens when you don’t have sex: physical health
What happens when you don’t have sex: mental health
The benefits of not having sex for a long time
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Every piece of content at Flo Health adheres to the highest editorial standards for language, style, and medical accuracy. To learn what we do to deliver the best health and lifestyle insights to you, check out our content review principles .
At some point most people will enter a dry spell in their sex lives, where they go quite some time without having sex. If you find yourself in a period of abstinence, you might be wondering how it can affect your health.
People go through dry spells for lots of reasons. Sometimes people who aren’t in a relationship prefer to wait until they find the right person. The attraction between the couple can diminish, leading to a lack of sexual activity. Other times, people just don’t want to have sex. So, what happens when you don’t have sex for a long time?
Regular sex improves the immune system and prepares the body to fight off illness by releasing endorphins. This means that having sex less often might result in more frequent illnesses, like the cold or flu. A study reported that saliva samples of college students who had regular sex were found to have a higher concentration of certain antibodies called immunoglobulin A, which fight the common cold.
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Having sex after a long break can be uncomfortable. It takes longer for the female body to become aroused and produce enough lubrication to make sex easy and comfortable. Regular sex or masturbation can keep the tissues in your vagina healthy by improving blood flow.
Some people find sex to be an excellent remedy for menstrual cramps . The increase in endorphins caused by sex as well as the uterine contractions that occur with orgasm can both help alleviate cramps. You don’t have to have sex to reap these benefits — masturbation can have the same effect.
If you do not have sex on a regular basis, you are at a higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease. In addition to being a source of exercise, sexual intercourse helps keep your estrogen and progesterone levels in balance, which can lower your risk of heart disease.
Some people equate having a sex life with their self-worth. Although this is not the case, they may feel more anxious and depressed if they go a long period of time without having sex. It’s important to remember that your value does not come from having sex with other people.
Aside from that, the effects on your mental health caused by abstaining from sex can include:
Having sex releases endorphins and the hormone oxytocin into the body. These neurochemicals can help manage the effects of anxiety or stress. Oxytocin has the additional benefit of helping you sleep. If you do not have sex regularly, your body may release these hormones less often, which might make it more difficult to cope with stress.
Surprisingly, going a long time without having sex can make you lose interest in sex altogether. The more you have sex, the more you want to have sex. Regular sex boosts your libido.
For many couples, regular sexual intercourse is an important way to maintain their bond. Regular sex also often leads to better communication. Generally, couples who have sex more often feel more emotionally attached and connected in comparison with those who do it less often.
What happens when you don’t have sex for a long time? For some people, their relationship with their partner becomes more stressful and they stop feeling connected. Other couples aren’t interested in sex or they don’t find it to be an important way of connecting, preferring conversation or shared activities instead.
Many people choose to not have sex for a variety of reasons. Some people don’t enjoy it or aren’t interested. Others find it to be a distraction from the things they really care about. Although having sex can have positive effects on your health, not having sex has benefits too. Some of the positive side effects of not having sex for a long time include:
Going without sex for a long time can be a frustrating experience if you would rather be sexually active. However, a period of abstinence can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-love. If you’re partnered and you find that a lack of sex is affecting your relationship with your partner, an earnest discussion may help you both better understand what you need in a relationship to feel satisfied.
Sexual activity has the potential to improve or maintain health on different levels but this does not mean that you have to have sex to be healthy or stay healthy. Each person has different desires and needs when it comes to sex. If you find yourself in a dry spell, take the time to get to know your own personal desires.
Brody, Stuart. “The Relative Health Benefits of Different Sexual Activities.” Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 7, no. 4pt1, 2010, pp. 1336–1361., doi:10.1111/jsm.2010.7.issue-4pt1. Coleman, Eli. “Masturbation as a Means of Achieving Sexual Health.” Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, vol. 14, no. 2-3, 2003, pp. 5–16., doi:10.1300/j056v14n02_02. Lindau, S. T., and N. Gavrilova. “Sex, Health, and Years of Sexually Active Life Gained Due to Good Health: Evidence from Two US Population Based Cross Sectional Surveys of Ageing.” Bmj, vol. 340, no. mar09 2, 2010, pp. c810–c810., doi:10.1136/bmj.c810. Liu, Hui, et al. “Is Sex Good for Your Health? A National Study on Partnered Sexuality and Cardiovascular Risk among Older Men and Women.” Journal of Health and Social Behavior, vol. 57, no. 3, 2016, pp. 276–296., doi:10.1177/0022146516661597. Vasilenko, Sara A., et al. “Short-Term Positive and Negative Consequences of Sex Based on Daily Reports Among College Students.” Journal of Sex Research, vol. 49, no. 6, 2012, pp. 558–569., doi:10.1080/00224499.2011.589101.
Medically Reviewed by Sabrina Felson, MD on July 06, 2022
People go through dry spells in the bedroom for all kinds of reasons. Maybe they’re busy, or maybe they’re single. Or they might just decide they want a break.
If that break goes on long enough, though, it can have an effect on your body and some parts of your life. But it’s important to remember that there’s no “right” amount for everyone. What’s key is that you find what works best for you.
If you don’t have sex with your partner often, that may make you feel less connected to them, which can mean you don’t talk about your feelings much or get a lot of support in managing day-to-day stressors.
And sex makes your body release hormones, like oxytocin and endorphins, that can help you manage the effects of stress. Oxytocin has the added benefit of helping you sleep .
Research is in the early stages, but some studies have shown that people who have sex often are better at recalling memories. And there are signs that sex can help your brain grow neurons and work better in general.
Regular sex helps you feel emotionally close to your partner, which opens the door to better communication. Couples who have sex more often tend to say they’re happier than those who get less of it.
But it doesn’t have to happen every day -- once a week seems to be enough. This seems to be true no matter your age or gender, or how long you’ve been in the relationship.
Regular sex can help your body fight off illness, so having it less often might lead to more colds and the like. In one study, college students who had sex one to two times per week were shown to have higher levels of a certain antibody (called immunoglobulin A) that plays an important role in your immune system .
If you’re a woman who’s gone through menopause, you have another reason to keep having sex. Without regular intercourse, your vagina can tighten and its tissues can get thinner and be more likely to get injured, tear, or even bleed during sex. This can be so uncomfortable that women with these symptoms avoid having sex, which can make it worse.
Changes related to menopause, such as vaginal dryness and irritation, can be treated with lubricants, moisturizers, or low-dose estrogen .
For men, how often they have sex may be linked to their chances of prostate cancer , but the evidence is mixed. Some experts think that sex might actually raise your odds, by possibly exposing you to sexually transmitted diseases that lead to inflammation .
But in one large study of almost 30,000 men, those who said they ejaculated more than 21 times a month on average had lower chances of prostate cancer during their lifetimes, compared with those who ejaculated four to seven times a month.
Anxiety.org: “Why Having More Sex May Lead to a Healthier Mind and Body.”
Kinsey Institute Research: “Frequent Sex is Linked to Better Memory.”
Society for Personality and Social Psychology: “Couples Who Have Sex Weekly Are Happiest.”
Psychological Reports: “Sexual Frequency and Salivary Immunoglobulin A (IgA).”
The North American Menopause Society: “Changes in the Vagina and Vulva,” “Vaginal and Vulvar Comfort," “Lubricants, Moisturizers, and Low-dose Vaginal Estrogen.”
Mayo Clinic: “Erectile Dysfunction.”
American Journal of Medicine : “Regular Intercourse Protects Against Erectile Dysfunction: Tampere Aging Male Urologic Study .”
Johns Hopkins Medicine: “Does Sexual Activity Affect My Risk of Cancer?”
International Society for Sexual Medicine: “What is the “Normal” Frequency of Sex?"
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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1. It started to feel like a chore.
3. Intimacy stopped existing outside the bedroom.
4. Birth control had negative side effects.
5. They didn't share the same kinks.
6. One person wanted sex more than the other.
10. Libidos changed as you get older.
11. Sex stopped being a factor in the relationship.
12. Having kids ruined their sex life.
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