Dominatrix Tease And Denial

Dominatrix Tease And Denial

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Many a professional dominatrix will tell you she will not allow submissives to orgasm during the session. I did.
Mainly because if they did cum halfway through, it meant I could clock off early and get on with a nice boxset.
Of course, if they specifically asked for orgasm control or chastity then we could start to play with a variety of devices – both physical and psychological – that come in pretty handy for me.
Orgasm control is basically what it sounds like: you control whether your partner can cum or not.
This doesn’t have to be in the midst of a BDSM activity – after all, who hasn’t asked him to keep his boner a little longer while we edge ourselves a little closer to the finish line with a gentle ‘not yet’?
I’m going to go through a few things you can also try if you want to get a little kinkier, and especially if you want to try long-term orgasm control – otherwise known as chastity.
No bells, no whistles. Just tell him he’s not allowed to masturbate for a certain amount of days.
Start off with just a few days though, as you might find he wakes up to a ‘wet patch’.
I used to tell a lot of subs not to play with themselves until our session as it would increase both the anticipation, the sensation, and my chances of having an early night.
Plus, it will also help to make orgasming a much more intense experience.
A fun one for Skype, or if you want to make a little pre-recorded video.
You are, as the name suggests, literally instructing him on how you want him to w*nk off.
Start from right at the beginning – he’s fully dressed and you want him to rub his hands over his crotch. Demand he undresses slowly, before you tell him if he’s going to grip hard or soft. Stroke with a hand, or just a finger.
From there, it’s just a series of ‘harder, harder’ or ‘slower, slower’. There are plenty you can watch on websites like ‘clips4sale’ if you want some inspiration.
If you’re playing the Domme, don’t be tempted to start getting your boobs out for titillation. The fact you have control over how he’s doing such an everyday, personal task is the turn-on.
There are a wide range of chastity devices for men, which will see their junk safely away from anyone’s trunk.
A word to the wise – you get what you pay for.
Cheaper chastity devices might be good for an hour or so of play, but they will start to chafe. There will also be hygiene issues if you want him to keep it on for longer.
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My advice is to check reviews on the sites that sell them and see how long someone has managed to keep it on for. You can always get advice from various forum boards and social media groups too.
Plastic ones tend to chafe, and the heavy metallic ones can be a bit too weighty. Be prepared for some trial and error, as well as a bit of moisturiser to help the skin. But when you’ve found one you can wear indefinitely, it’ll be worth it.
Also, remember that consent is key and there are several health issues to be aware of – if it needs to come off, it needs to come off.
As ever, the language used changes from person to person, but as you can probably guess, this is about getting someone closer and closer, before denying and cutting off their orgasm.
This could be seen as the pinnacle of orgasm control – after all, it’s easy to just stop someone from w*nking off, but how do you get someone close to the edge and know when to stop, or even how to stop them?
There are a few ways in which it can be done; sometimes just ceasing all activity will do it, or there’s the old ‘pinch the tip’ trick (which you literally pinch the tip of the penis).
The aim is to get as close to the point of no return as you can, but leave him begging for more.
Fortunately, as you learn about ‘edging’ your partner, and what amount of tease and denial he can take, you will still be able to give him a ‘ruined orgasm’.
Nope, it’s not a cocktail at Wetherspoons, unless you’re really unlucky.
The trick here is to read your sub, and get them to that brief moment between the point of no return but before the orgasm starts. Without that final bit of stimulation, he’ll find it pretty hard to cum and can be extremely frustrating.
In the world of orgasm control, where, when and whether you want your sub to orgasm or not is completely up to you. It’s great fun to try over long distance, or just to see how far you can push your sub.
You don’t have to be cruel, and you certainly don’t have to listen to anyone tell you ‘you shouldn’t let him cum’. I never understood that as a working practice anyway.
Have fun with the timings, and you’ll soon turn your guy into a geyser.

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Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?

MLA Style Citation:

Jameson, Sarah "Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?."
Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm? .
22 Apr. 2012 EzineArticles.com.
30 Jun. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083 >.

APA Style Citation:

Jameson, S. (2012, April 22). Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm? .
Retrieved June 30, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083

Chicago Style Citation:

Jameson, Sarah "Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?." Tease and Denial: How Long Should You Make Him Wait to Orgasm?
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Tease-and-Denial:-How-Long-Should-You-Make-Him-Wait-to-Orgasm?&id=7017083

By
Sarah Jameson |

Submitted On April 22, 2012

Tease and denial, or "edging" as it's sometimes called is a mainstay of male chastity.
In brief, it means a man hands over control of his orgasms to his wife or girlfriend, meaning the decision about when, how, where and even if he gets to orgasm is entirely up to her (and we'll come back to "if" in a moment).
What it does not mean, though, is the man is deprived of any sexual pleasure whatsoever, save the vicarious pleasure of pleasuring his beloved. In some relationships the man is kept completely celibate and expresses his sexuality only through his partner's orgasms, but that's a different thing from what I am talking about.
Because with male chastity, the man is definitely kept celibate. On the contrary, couples who practice male chastity typically have more sexual contact rather than less.
No, what it means is the man is taken right to the point of orgasm, but not allowed to go all the way -- this is why it's called "edging", because he's taken to and held on the edge of orgasm.
Now, to most women this would be incomprehensible, especially if they've ever experienced the frustration and even anger most men exhibit when they don't get what they want. But the truth is, many, many men crave this. It goes far beyond the emotional charge of having a woman in control -- we are talking here about men who quite literally love the feeling of needing to orgasm but not being allowed to.
As my husband, John, describes it, " it's like being half-way to orgasm all the time ". I don't profess to fully understand this completely. As a woman, I enjoy my multiple orgasms and cannot imagine any pleasure at all in having them delayed or denied to me (and it does feel terribly selfish to take great pleasure in denying my husband's orgasms, knowing he needs to cum but can't until I allow it).
Which leads us to the inevitable question:
It depends on what you've both agreed and subsequently what you, his partner, decide.
Some couples who practice Tease and Denial have an agreed limit or schedule, and that's fine.
But many more men hand over complete control, meaning they are willing to take the risk their beloved might never let them come at all.
This sounds cruel, but, believe me, it's what many men secretly want. No, not ALL men want it, but in my experience, MOST men who admit to a desire for male chastity have permanent orgasm denial as their ultimate fantasy.
Yes, of course. There is absolutely no reason I am aware of to say any man has to orgasm, ever . There's no compelling medical evidence to say it's harmful, and it's not as if you're forcing this upon him without his consent (he could cheat at any time he liked -- even if you have him locked in a chastity device and hold his key, he can cut it off if he wants to. There is no such thing as a 100% secure male chastity device. Anyone claiming otherwise is a liar).
And not only is it possible and so far as we know harmless, there are many benefits to it, in terms of increased emotional and physical intimacy, better and more frequent sex, the pleasure in hearing your man beg for release he knows he is never going to get, and the satisfaction of living your life knowing your man wants you 24/7.
My personal view, developed over many years of practicing male chastity and orgasm denial with John, is the best and most pleasurable results from tease and orgasm denial come from longer periods of denial rather than shorter ones.
Everyone is different and makes their own choices, but that said whenever I'm asked by readers of my work " how long is best between orgasms? ", I encourage them to aim ultimately for permanent orgasm denial for their man, just as John and I are aiming for it now.
Bottom line : John doesn't need to orgasm for either physical or mental health and our relationship is closer and more fulfilling when he doesn't, and so I can't see any benefit in allowing it.
If that hasn't scared you off from begging your beloved for what you really want, then it's worth your while finding out more about tease and denial... but just be careful what you wish for!
So... click the blue link and claim your FREE male chastity guide and discover the truth about tease and denial.
But HURRY! I'm giving away this Guide today and tomorrow ONLY to anyone who visits my website. So if you're serious about experiencing serious tease and denial , be sure to get it before tomorrow night .
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Hate is such a vicious vile word , with sheer wanton maliciousness behind every instance it is spoken. Thus, it must be used not liberally, but instead preciously saved for a deserved target of one’s venom. In my life, there has been no greater thing that commands me to use the word Hate as its descriptor than that of the word School and all the maladies that word encompasses.
I was recently asked in an email “how can your English be so good , you’re Thai.”
He took the philosophical pretense of “I speak, therefore I am” , flipped it on it’s head so it would become “I’m Thai, therefore I am not.”
Thing is , he’s right. In thinking of how to reply to him I wanted not to argue but instead to validate his point with reason, show proof of that reasoning, and show him what extraordinary measures it took to slip out of the societal mainstream and set myself up in an environment where I could succeed despite the moniker of being labelled “Thai.”
I, like all Thai’s, was set up to fail from my first day in school. And please, let’s not call it school but rather let’s call it what it really was , purgatory. Borrowing from the Christian definition then, it was a place of purification (brain washing), so as to achieve the holiness (lobotomy) necessary to enter the joy of heaven (factory work).
The rich are self-serving, and in countries such as mine where they are allowed to dictate policy, school is but a trap. I had a teacher one time, back when I studied abroad, who began his first lecture by putting a rope on the table before him. A big burly Russian man with a full grey beard – about to teach a semester of Creative Writing – said “Before you is a rope, a rope of opportunity. In my class you can either use it to climb to new heights , or you can use it to hang yourself, the choice is yours.
Typical me, I stood up (I purposely stopped raising my hand in grade 5) and said before the class “in my country the rope comes with the noose already prepared, it’s nice to have an option now.” Well actually, I had to use a lot of hand gestures and acting to get that point across because I had Seseme Street level English as a weapon though I had graduated with a major in English – but we’ll get to that in a moment.
I had wanted to reply to that person’s email with this video. For you, I don’t want you to watch the video, I want you to take it to heart.
I was at Mistress Wael’s condo two days ago. She was trying to get 500 cupcakes baked as an order for her newly started bakery business , and she needed me to make a few trips to bring them over to the hospital that ordered them. Anyways, whilst I was there she got a call from her daughter on Skype and she picked up the call to find her ten year old daughter crying. Wael who sees her daughter but once a year , while working in Bangkok so she can provide a “better life” for her daughter by sending her to a school that’s just above gov’t level , assumed her daughter was crying because they missed each other.
What had happened though was that her daughter had been sent home from school with a disciplinary letter stating why her daughter had been spanked in front of the class that day.
Her child was caught listening to a YouTube song in English at lunch time. One that Wael had sent the link for so that her daughter could practice her English as the song – Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” comes with lyrics.
Let me translate for you one sentence in the note sent home with her daughter :
“Listening to English is strongly discouraged and we are dismayed that your daughter chooses not to focus instead upon her Northern Thai language skills.”
Harken back if you will to the point in the video I linked where he says children in school are discouraged from expressing their creativity, imagination, and critical thought. I too rest my case. The school system here should be on trial for the murder of imagination.
Had that been my daughter (yes i’d love to have a cute daughter one day) I’d have sent a reply suggesting each school put up a McDonald’s like sign that says “Over 99 Billion Robots Created”.
Sadly, the only available recourse of action that would save her daughter would be to enroll her in a foreign international school which comes with the lofty price tag of 250,000 for the privilege to think creatively in a society that forbids it.
So how did I exclude myself enough from being Thai that allowed me to get a fair grip on the English language?
I got the fuck out of here that’s what.
After all, I had a degree in English from a prominent Thai University , I surely was prepared to study abroad right? When Vladimir my Russian teacher of Creative Writing began his first lecture in that little foreign college , I remember looking to my left and then to my right before slumping in my chair and thinking “how is it possible I understand nothing of what this guy is saying?”
At the end of that first class as people were shuffling out of the smallish 100 seat lecture room I waited until the very last one had left before I stood up and saluted towards the ceiling. Vlad caught sight of me doing so and asked simply “why?”
“I was saying thank you … for nothing … to my country.”
“I just realized my degree is useless. I understand nothing you say. I have no money. I have no friends to talk with. I have nothing.”
“Not true” he said, pushing the thing on his desk in my direction. “Now you have a rope” and he gave me a wink I’ll never forget before he sauntered out of the classroom with that to and fro wobble he walked with.
I may have understood but 1% of anything he said that day , but I’m thankful I understood that 1% with such vivid clarity. For it was that day that I began my climb, and now here I am today.
I pondered for a bit on how to answer that person’s email , he being so nonchalantly condescending didn’t really deserve such an elaborate response. So instead I simply replied :
“I was fortunate to have been given a very long rope.”
I am not just a Bangkok Mistress and Domina / Dominatrix , i am the most sexy Domina in Thailand and pride myself on being the smartest. I use both intelligence and looks to play with my clients using my brain, my imagination and my understanding of how men think. The bdsm toys are just a tool really, a real dominatrix doesn't need to use tools if she doesn't want to, and that’s where i am coming from — i am a real Dominatrix — Bangkok’s only true Domina in my opinion.

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