Dominated Russian Guys

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Dominated Russian Guys
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You either have it or you don’t, and Russians definitely have it – we’re as hard as nails! Here’s why.

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Russia Beyond is a media project of the independent non-commercial organization "TV-Novosti", 2022. © All rights reserved.
V. Makovsky. Peasant children. 1890.
Before the communists toppled what Lenin called military-feudal imperialism in Russia, over 75 percent of the country worked the land as peasants – they were the salt of the earth. Life was no walk in the park and from around the age of six children were put to work. Kids looked after cattle and made useful things like lapti (traditional footwear) while their parents and older siblings toiled in the fields. Diligence was a virtue, they rolled their sleeves up and got on with the task at hand: survival. The Russian army’s foot soldiers hailed from the peasantry, so too the crews of Russian explorers, and for good reason: they were reliable and tough.
Russian peasants were loyal to the tsar and humble before their landlord, otherwise they would be punished. The Orthodox Church was instrumental in propagating this obedience.
Ivan Susanin went down in history as one of the most heroic peasants after sacrificing his life to stop the Poles finding the Tsar. His selfless act was symbolic of the Russian peasants’ collective mentality – they rarely wilted when the going got tough.
To be considered an honorable nobleman, Russian landlords and officers (plus their wives and families) needed to follow some strict rules. Most importantly, they were expected to be good Christians, safeguard the tsar’s honor, and never beg. With the latter in mind, children from Russian noble families often learned a craft so they could provide for their family. This helped the nobility in the wake of the Revolution when they were almost rendered destitute overnight and forced to take up manual labor. Being practical helped them to conceal their lofty origins from the Bolsheviks, who were baying for blue blood.
The Solovki prison camp (SLON), 1927-1928.
The social tensions during and after the Revolution resulted in emigration, crossbreeding between the former nobility and the proletariat, and the elimination of the ruling class. The new Soviet elite who flourished under Lenin and Stalin were in turn wiped out during the purges . So contemporary Russians are mainly descended from the urban working class, who themselves had peasant blood coursing through their veins.
Stalin and Khrushchev’s mass repressions, which lasted from the 1920s to the 1960s, have also left their mark: almost every Russian living today has a relative who served time in prison or the gulag. During the hardest Stalinist years during collectivization, even petty criminals could be dealt a back-breaking sentence in a labor camp.
Women building defense lines near Moscow, 1941.
Russia lost more lives than any other nation involved in WWII. The majority of those who perished were men, leaving countless wives and children back home without husbands and fathers. Many of the soldiers who did survive were injured or permanently disabled and in need of regular care.
The toll the war took on Russia’s male population is still evident today and forced women to take up what was traditionally men’s work. Women were also often left to raise families single-handedly, with their sons and daughters assigned chores to lighten the burden.  
A young woman at a bus stop in Yakutsk.
Russians have never shied away from exploring their own country. For centuries people from the central regions traversed the Urals, Siberia, and the Far East, while the gravitational force of central Russia has always been strong. I have a friend with an impressive ancestry – her mother hails from the central Russian town of Penza and comes from a family of southerners, usually characterized by their flamboyant, cheerful attitude, while her father is half-Russian, half-Mansi – a descendant of the ancient Siberian people. He’s very reserved and incredibly hard-working.
Together with her optimistic outlook and iron will to work, she’s also very healthy as mixed genes can often result in a stronger immune system. Through the ages, people from harsh climates have adapted and become stronger, namely Russians.
In Russia, a stiff upper lip has always been viewed as a virtue and encouraged. In Soviet times, the authorities pushed physical exercise to motivate the people, help channel superfluous energy, and to promote a healthy lifestyle.  
In the villages, fist fighting was a way for feisty men to let off steam. In cities, there was more violence on the streets as a new culture typified by physical prowess and fighting ability was quickly taking shape. Fortunately, there’s less peacocking on the streets of Russia these days but during my own childhood in Moscow, I became pretty adept at slipping tenth graders intent on stealing my lunch money. Almost on a daily basis, kids from my class were beaten or robbed – this was the reality of growing up in the 1990s here.
The Russian military’s grueling training programs are infamous and separate the men from the boys. Any recruits who are a little soft around the edges have to toughen up fast. This is one reason why Russia’s Army has such a fearsome reputation.
It’s not about the Russian soul , although toughness has a certain place in it. It’s about plain survival: when you have to work to feed your family as your ancestors did, it becomes normal and you just get used to it.
From the outside, Russians are often perceived as depressed, melancholy people. But this so-called “depression” is not what it seems, it’s just a state of mind to help us cope with whatever life throws at us.

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Why do so many foreign women choose Russian men for a relationship or marriage? We asked wives and girlfriends from around the world, and the single ladies out there might just be persuaded to seek out their own Russian ‘bear’ after reading this.

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Are Russian men really more mature, more chivalrous, and more manly than other nationalities?
Warning! All facts below are based on personal experience, we can't vouch for your own Russian other half — if you have one. But, the proof of the pudding is in the eating — so get eating!
“He’s always thinking about saving up, buying a house, building a dacha, which is ok. I had never met a man in his 30s who felt miserable because he couldn’t give his lady a beautiful apartment, or who seriously thought of settling down,” says Sydney Vicidomini from Italy, who has lived with her Russian boyfriend for two years, and has been in a relationship with him for three-and-a-half.
“Russians are ready to start an adult life at the age of 20 to 25, and Germans or Italians usually do it no earlier than 35. For me, starting this late is cowardly,” adds Malwina Hołownia from Poland. She’s been married to a Russian man for two years. “That’s why I like Russian men - they are eager to take responsibility for life and live it for real.”
“Russian men are not afraid of commitment or having a family. They see it as something natural. Both our cultures view family as the most important thing,” says Paula Neira Pardo from Colombia, who dated her Russian boyfriend for four years before getting hitched a month ago.
But it’s not all about acting older than your years, as Sydney Vicidomini points out: “On the other hand, life is not just about saving up and building a house. There are also nights out, holidays, and adventures to be had. I don't think life should be too comfortable. That’s where the Italian comes in - I make things a little more exciting!”
It must also be noted that sometimes Russian men are not very communicative or confident about discussing their feelings. “They are usually very protective, so talking about problems with their partner can be difficult,’ comments Paula Neira Pardo .
“They are not taught during childhood to talk about their feelings and emotions, and it's sometimes a problem when they grow up. ‘Boys don't cry’ is the most stupid sentence that I’ve ever heard, but for Russian boys it's repeated all the time,” says Cecile Rouge from France, who married a Russian 16 years ago. “Russian society in general is more about gender roles , and the mindset is a bit more classical than in France. Men earn money, they are reliable, and women should feel like they have a ‘stone wall’ behind them.”
“He’s romantic when least expected - freshly picked flowers on my pillow when I wake up, or candles lit and a scented bath prepared for me,” shares Belinda Gibson from South Africa - the proud wife of a Russian man for more than two years. “He’s not one for cliches, or the perfectly timed bunch of flowers as the sun sets. He has his own raw, authentic style which knocks me off my feet.”
“I call my man ‘the knight with no fear nor fault,’ because he confessed his love for me on our third date,” adds Sydney Vicidomini from Italy.
Malwina Hołownia from Poland says this: “He treats me like a princess with all the gentleman stuff, buying flowers, carrying bags, and getting the bill in restaurants.”
Yet who knows gallantry better than a Frenchwoman? Cecile Rouge explains: “Russian men in general tend to be manly but also galant - carrying bags, giving flowers etc.”
“In general, I think he is chivalrous and romantic , I didn't see these traits with the New Zealander, Turkish, or English guys I’ve dated. He always acts the gentleman, he opens doors, carries my bags, asks me if I'm hungry or thirsty, always cares for me,” shares Sophie Hazlehurst from New Zealand, who has been married to a Russian for three months after going out for a year.
Annie Profatilova from the U.S. adds, “I love that my husband is chivalrous. While he may hold doors for me, and always offer to carry the groceries, he does not expect a hot meal on the table, or a clean house the way some Russian men do.”
However, there are some big drawbacks to going out with a Russian male: “I am never ever allowed to talk about poo in any way, ever!” exclaims Elizabeth Black from the UK - she’s been in a relationship with a Russian for almost 12 months.
Belinda Gibson summarizes it perfectly well: “I know, without him having to tell me, that he’d kill a bull for me. He’s ‘real’ - if that makes any sense?” We suppose it does.
Bree Winchester , from the U.S., who has been wedded to a Russian for two years has her say: “Even if he's being a jerk to everyone else, he's always kind to me and puts me first.”
“He cares about my plans and about my opinion,” comments Malwina Hołownia .
“I can say he is a responsible man and he makes sure we come first, my daughter and I,” states Sylphina Angel Gimony Semenova from the Philippines. She will soon celebrate two years of marriage with her Russian man.
American Nadine Aguilar , who has been hitched to her Russian sweetie pie for five years adds: “What I like most about him is that he supports me in most of my plans, ideas, decisions, and adventures no matter how crazy or strange they seem.”
However, Sophie Hazlehurst from New Zealand points out that jealousy can be an issue: “Sometimes he's worried I'm talking to other men or texting other men or something, and my Russian friends at work say their husbands are the same, so maybe this is cultural.”
Nadine Aguilar has a philosophical way of thinking about that: “Like most Russians, he sometimes communicates in a very frank or honest way which is normal and acceptable for Russians. For a non-Russian it can sometimes be unexpected, especially when translated into English or when spoken in English with non-Russians. Russians are not as good at hiding their true feelings or emotions as Americans are, but this can be seen also as a positive trait as this shows that Russians are less fake. We Americans like to be politically correct and we think carefully about what we want to say so that we do not anger or offend others.”
“I ended up loving a Russian the same way I ended up loving Russia - it was all completely unexpected,” confesses Sydney Vicidomini from Italy.
Belinda Gibson agrees: “I am constantly delighted and fascinated by the language and cultural differences - and similarities - which make us laugh and keep us engaged in conversation for hours.‘
Annie Profatilova feels honored to experience Russian culture in such an intimate way.
As for the cons, it seems the Soviet hangover still lingers. “I don't know why, but all Russians, especially men, have a feeling that they are somehow worse individuals than Germans or Americans. I don’t think they should have any complexes about it,” explains Malwina Hołowni a from Poland.
“He studies Italian so he can talk to me and my family and eventually, who knows, to work with or live in Italy. He takes his learning very seriously, he feels committed to what he does, it becomes a matter of honor! And that's when the traumatized Soviet schoolboy switches on - I can't understand why he’s not able to buy a simple bus ticket without apologizing for his grammar when in Italy,’ shares Sydney Vicidomini .
Apparently, Russian men know how to enjoy life to the full.
“He's also very adventurous! No one makes me laugh like he does,” explains Elizabeth Black from the UK. Belinda Gibson agrees: “Although he’s cautious about the serious stuff, he is incredibly spontaneous when it comes to ‘live and let live.’
Annie Profatilova : “My husband is a talented painter, with an eye for fine art and an ear for classical music. I am sure that his growing up in Moscow contributed somewhat to his appreciation of culture. Being a millennial American myself, I am sure that it would be nearly impossible to find someone from my own background who possesses this trait.’
However, it’s not all rosy. Sylphina Angel Gimony Semenova admits: “I can say his weakness is beer and vodka. I think Russian men love to drink because all of his friends are the same. For me, everything is perfect except his drinking. But I am glad that step by step he is controlling and minimizing it.”
We agree with Belinda Gibson who describes Russian man’s personality this way: ‘His extremes are like Russia itself; and there is no in-between.’

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My Russian Boyfriend — Dating Western Men vs. Russian Men
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Elena’s Models blog covers issues of dating Russian and Ukrainian women online and in real life, offering tips for men how to succeed and what to watch out for. If charming Slavic ladies is your goal, this is your place to learn how. There are some specifics to international dating online, which are important to know. Our renowned experts are happy to render decades of their experience and knowledge to help you navigate the exciting waters of cross-culture romance with Eastern European girls.
With Internet widely accessible in Russia and Ukraine through Wi-Fi and mobile connections, more Slavic women are open to the idea of looking outside national borders in search of their true love. With gender ratios of only 86 men to 100 women country-wide – Get Started Today!
Because there are large numbers of Russian and Ukrainian women seeking partners abroad, some observers assume that Slavic ladies dislike local men.
It’s not entirely true. Eastern European women exploring options of dating internationally are fond of Slavic men, they simply cannot find the one who fits their portrait of a good partner and at the same time likes them back.
Even western women find Russian men charming and feel they have a lot to offer, which they would love to find in their partners locally. (We are never happy with what we are getting, are we?)
Diana Bruk is a young American woman who was born in Russia and moved to the Big Apple at the age of 5 with her family. She grew up in the States but due to her heritage speaks fluent Russian.
Her confession about dating Russian men is a must read for anyone wondering about courtship customs and rituals in the countries of the post-USSR.
“ I love (and hate) dating Russian men “, states Diana, and then goes on to explain why. “The macho guys from my home country leave me torn between my feminist beliefs and my sexual desires.”
“I love (and hate) dating Russian men”, says a young female writer from America.
Her story begins with the description of a fight for “her honour” by a Russian boyfriend, because in the midst of a drunken party, another guy tried to touch her.
In Russia, it is expected from a male to physically defend his lady, or be considered a coward. After the fight, covered in blood (!), the boyfriend approached his shaking American dame demanding explanations as to what she did that a strange guy felt comfortable enough to grab her, and why did she talk to another chap without his outright permission.
Both drinking and violence are the core reasons why there are 106 boys to 100 girls at birth in Russia, and only 86 males to 100 females in the total population .
“If he hits you, that means he loves you,” quotes Diana her mother’s saying, the old-fashioned Slavic belief, which is the reason why domestic violence in Russia is still widely underreported — as well as most other forms of physical assault, making it a “norm” rather than a crime.
Calling her relationship with Russian men “convoluted”, the daring New-Yorker goes on describing the peculiarities of the local dating etiquette.
The liberal arts graduate decided to explore her homeland by living there, and temporarily moved to Russia in 2010. To provide for herself, she was teaching English in St. Petersburg.
“The first thing that you’ll notice when you get to Russia is that the women are astoundingly beautiful and immaculately presented”, she says.
I would add, especially in capitals such as Moscow or Piter (the affectionate nickname of Saint Petersburg). Just like in western capitals, people tend to dress up more.
For Russian girls working out to achieve the perfect body is a way to attract and keep a boyfriend or husband.
“If you tell them [St. Petersburg’s ladies] you pluck your own eyebrows and only get a facial once a month, [they] will look at you as though you have just clawed your way out of a swamp,” confesses Bruk.
I can attest to that. Beauty is huge in Russia. I would say, Slavic girls believe that for a female beauty is everything. And the main reason why it is important is to attract and keep a boyfriend or a husband.
“ Women in Russia are hardly ever seen without high heels or makeup and are always proud of their sensuality and appearance,” writes Tammy Dray in her article for Match.com .
(Today young girls are wearing flats more often and style “casual” incorporating torn jeans and Converse sneakers is becoming a new fashion fad, so you may not see Russian ladi
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