Dominate The Conversation

Dominate The Conversation

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Stop Dominating the Conversation in Your Meetings

When you’re leading a meeting, it’s tempting to hold the floor. After all, you called everyone together, right? But no one wants to go to a meeting where one person talks the whole time, and you’re unlikely to get what you need from the group if you’re delivering a monologue. To keep yourself in check, […]

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When you’re leading a meeting, it’s tempting to hold the floor. After all, you called everyone together, right? But no one wants to go to a meeting where one person talks the whole time, and you’re unlikely to get what you need from the group if you’re delivering a monologue. To keep yourself in check, try three tactics. First, make notes and stick to them. Give yourself a time limit, and condense what you have to say into that amount of time. Second, send the agenda around in advance. Tell people whose opinions you respect that you are hoping they will speak up, and then call on them during the meeting. Third, use a round-robin format, where you go around the room and everyone has an opportunity to talk. Some people will pass, but at least they were given the chance — and didn’t have to interrupt you to get a word in.

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Some people have an uncontrollable need to dominate every conversation. These are the overbearing communicators who must decide the topic of every conversation, tell you what they think (make that what they know) to be true, and tell you why you are “wrong” if you disagree with them. They have only a few topics that they talk about, but they talk about them over and over again. Their opinion never changes and new information or facts are ignored. They couldn’t care less whether their particular audience is interested in what they are saying, they just love to hear themselves talk.
Q : How does a typical conversation dominator communicate?
A : First, they are terrible listeners. Often they are not interested in what anyone else has to say. They convince themselves that their opinion is the one that matters most. They talk endlessly without regard to whether they are connecting or not. They say things like, “Let me tell you why you are wrong…” or, “Listen to me…I’m an expert on this…” If you try to interject they will often interrupt you and say things like, “You don’t know what you’re talking about” or, “You’re wrong and here’s why…” Sounds like fun, huh?
A : Because they can. Sometimes they run organizations or lead teams where no one is willing to say; “Enough already, boss. You’ve been going on for an hour. You say the same thing every time and you don’t let anyone get a word in. What are we even here for?” Without such direct and useful feedback, these communicators think they are doing fine. One time I asked one of them why he does it and he said, “I’m here to teach.” Translation—my opinion is the only one that matters.
Q : What impact does this have on the quality of a conversation?
A : It’s devastating. People on the other end shut down and tune out. They nod their heads and fake acknowledgement or agreement while praying the other person shuts up. They start to avoid the person and if asked for their opinion, they are reluctant to share it for fear of being attacked or ridiculed. The word also gets spread about the abusive communicator. People talk behind his back and call him a “blowhard” and make fun of the way he runs meetings or the way he acts in social settings. Ultimately the dominating communicator isolates himself and is surrounded with a few people who are forced to listen to him because they have no choice.
Q : What can you do as a communicator on the other end of such a conversation?
A : It depends upon how much you care. The smartest thing to do is avoid the person. If your boss is the offender, try to get a transfer. If it is a family member, take one shot at saying; “It’s because I love you, Uncle Tony, that I’m going to tell you this, but the rest of the family is starting to avoid you because you won’t shut up…” This is a risky move, and it is unlikely that the offender will appreciate it, but at least you’ve tried. The older the person is, the harder it is to curb this offensive communication habit.
Are you a conversation dominator or the victim of one? Write to me at sadubato@aol.com and share your experience.

How do you deal with people who dominate conversation?
English as a Sec.Lang Teacher ( 1979 – present ) · Author has 16.6K answers and 6M answer views · 2 y ·
I have a friend who always dominates our conversations, will only talk about himself, and doesn't acknowledge a thing I say. What term would I use to describe this kind of person?
How do you deal with people who won't let you get a word through in a conversation?
Is there a psychological concept for the need to dominate a conversation?
How do I deal with someone who doesn't let you talk and is simply interested in doing all the talking?
What's the best way to deal with a person who has to completely dominate every conversation?
Rural Mail Carrier at U.S. Postal Service ( 1993 – present ) · 4 y ·
I have a friend who always dominates our conversations, will only talk about himself, and doesn't acknowledge a thing I say. What term would I use to describe this kind of person?
How do you deal with people who won't let you get a word through in a conversation?
Is there a psychological concept for the need to dominate a conversation?
How do I deal with someone who doesn't let you talk and is simply interested in doing all the talking?
What's the best way to deal with a person who has to completely dominate every conversation?
How do you get someone to stop monopolizing every conversation and making it all about themselves?
What is it called when a person doesn't allow others to speak?
How do you speak to someone who dominates the conversation?
What are the signs of dominating attitude in a conversation?
How do you deal with someone who hogs the conversation in a group setting?
How do you deal with individuals who have to be right and have to dominate the conversation?
How do you handle people who won't let you get a word in?
How can I not dominate conversations while still contributing to them?
Why do some people hog the conversation and act like you’re not there?
How do you deal with a person who continually monopolizes the conversation if you are in a group? This person doesn’t seem to understand social cues.
I have a friend who always dominates our conversations, will only talk about himself, and doesn't acknowledge a thing I say. What term would I use to describe this kind of person?
How do you deal with people who won't let you get a word through in a conversation?
Is there a psychological concept for the need to dominate a conversation?
How do I deal with someone who doesn't let you talk and is simply interested in doing all the talking?
What's the best way to deal with a person who has to completely dominate every conversation?
How do you get someone to stop monopolizing every conversation and making it all about themselves?
What is it called when a person doesn't allow others to speak?
How do you speak to someone who dominates the conversation?
What are the signs of dominating attitude in a conversation?
How do you deal with someone who hogs the conversation in a group setting?
Something went wrong. Wait a moment and try again.
You get away from the person as soon as you can.
If that is not possible, you ignore what they are saying and begin talking to someone else nearby who appears to be also fed up with the domination.
Sometimes they will not even notice.
They are so wrapped up in themselves that they are oblivious to others actions and feelings.
If they do notice and call you on it, say in a rather offhand way, “Sorry, what was that you were saying?”
This is passive aggressive but if enough people do it, you can get the point across.
Leave. Distance yourself. Theres nothing you can do. This person is not interested in you as a friend UNLESS you are talking about a weakness or flaw in your character. They are only interested in talking about themselves. And when you do get a word in edgewise, they are only interested in telling you what to do and you BETTER do what they advise or you are stupid. They know no empathy. Everything you have they have it worse(cancer). Ive been a listener for years now. Im done.

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English Language & Usage

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Someone dominates a conversation by not letting others get a word in. I'm thinking its a combination of snow job and fillibuster (though not political in nature).
EDIT: to clarify, Not quite a long tedious speech; Speaker prompts a response but doesnt actually allow the response to be heard because the speaker begins talking again as if the response was heard.
I would say "He monopolised the conversation"
or "Insisted on taking centre stage the whole time"
I have also heard family members say "He was holding court" - which I think is a commonly used sarcastic reference to the way a Judge commands the attention of everyone in court .
Monologue is a good general descriptor:
1.1 A long, tedious speech by one person during a conversation:
Depending on the content of the domination, lecture might work better
2 A long serious speech, especially one given as a scolding or
reprimand:
Harangue would fit if the speaker exhibited an aggressive or critical demeanor:
The idiom hold forth implies talking for a long time about a subject that interests the speaker but not necessarily the audience.
Hold forth : to talk at great length; harangue
When we left, he was still holding forth on World War II.
I first came across this phrase in Stephen King's novel The Tommyknockers , where it's used to describe a character drunkenly ranting about nuclear power long after everyone else at the party wished he'd stop.
Palaver has a broad range of connotations, but it's basically a long talk:
[MASS NOUN] 1 Prolonged and tedious fuss or discussion:
The Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary reveals the broad usage in various contexts:
n.
1. profuse and idle talk; chatter.
2. persuasive talk; flattery; cajolery.
3. a conference or discussion, orig. one between European traders, explorers, etc., and people indigenous to a region, esp. in Africa.
v.i.
4. to talk profusely and idly.
5. to confer.
The OP seems to be looking toward the second noun definition with connotations from verbal definition 6, and a hint of verbal definition 4. If there is a pretense of conversation, palaver is particularly useful.
Gab tends toward idle chatter but might work:
The act of completely dominating a conversation, whether amongst a crowd or an intimate conversation. the "Bulldozer" can be anyone, inebriated or not, so long as everyone else that has something can't, simply because the said person just talks louder to drown them out.
For me, "monopolize" comes to mind immediately and seems to the point and most appropriate without going overboard or being bullish.
There are those who seem naturally adept at monopolizing conversations by raising their voice just as someone begins to speak, interact or add information.
Domineering. "I have bookclub tonight and really hope that domineering woman is not there."
Domineering was the first that came to mind, and is synonymous with overbearing . Domineering seems to equate best with ".. dominates the .."
to speak or express opinions in a pompous or dogmatic way
Loquacious
Also from Merriam-Webster ,
to speak or write verbosely and windily
To address the detail you added in your edit, an insincere prompt for response is often called a rhetorical question . This is a question designed not to solicit information that might change the course of the conversation, but to guide the listener to ask themselves the question and formulate an answer internally. The asker might then proceed to specify the answer they believe to be best and discuss it as part of the point they're trying to reach. For this to work, the rhetorical question tends to be simple and common-sensical, ideally requiring at most trivial reasoning to answer.
The word "screed" is defined as a "long, monotonous harangue" and is similar to some of the suggestions made here.
"We tired of listening to his screed."
To "pontificate" also carries the connotation of blabbing on and on while monopolizing the conversation.
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