Domestic Discipline Bdsm
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Domestic Discipline Bdsm
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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.
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When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind. But in BDSM —an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism—punishment can be a major component of sex. And a pleasurable one, at that.
“Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some [dominant/submissive] dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating . “There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”
Every couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use—and the options are essentially endless. For example, if the submissive partner is a "brat" (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty.
“Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. "It's really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what's okay for punishment and what's not.”
Like with most deliciously kinky things, punishment is not just about pain, but also pleasure. It’s a dance between the dom and sub that allows them to explore sides of themselves they may not get a chance to express in real life.
“Sexual punishment is when you know there is a part of you that is under-expressed, maybe from shame or fear,” says Kenneth Play , international sex educator and and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “So, if you feel like you’re being a dirty slut, being punished by your partner allows you to live out that feeling, while also enjoying your 'dirty slut' side.”
IMPORTANT: Before you engage in any BDSM punishments, you and your partner must thoroughly discuss your boundaries and limits beforehand. Despite the connotation of punishing someone, the activity still requires enthusiastic consent from all parties; the punished wants to be punished, and the punisher wants to punish.
This is where you bring someone to the brink of orgasm, only to stop touching them right before orgasm. Oh, the sweet agony.
Put them over your knee and show them what happens to naughty people who break the rules. Just remember to aim for the fleshy parts of the body, such as the butt cheeks and upper thighs.
Or, you could deny them a spanking. “Sometimes a submissive will ‘act out’ to get the punishment that they really enjoy," says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "One way to punish them is to NOT give them what they enjoy."
Force your sub to agree to keep their pretty little mouth shut. You can go a step further by not allowing your submissive to speak while in a public place without asking permission first.
This would be cruel outside of a consenting dom/sub dynamic, but hot as hell if both parties are into it. “[This entails] getting your submissive dressed up for an event that they really enjoy, but upon arrival making them sit outside on the ground with their hands in their lap and not allow them to come into the event for a specific amount of time,” Sparks says.
Make your submissive walk on all fours with a collar and a leash like a dog. You can incorporate a dog mask designed for kink, like this one , and even take the act outside for the public humiliation factor.
This is a form of public degradation: You make your submissive wear a shirt that literally says "slut" on it.
“Chain your partner to the bed and leave them there to wait for your return,” Saynt says. “Leave your home and decide how long you want to make them wait for you. Come back to them begging you to set them free.” Oh, the fun that can ensue afterward!
This is when you "make" your partner "take" the pleasure, even if it feels like over-stimulation. “Force your partner to have orgasms until they are completely overwhelmed—then keep going,” Play says.
This is when the dom has sex with someone else and forces the sub to watch. Cuckolding is a more advanced activity, and we suggest doing your research before bringing a new person into the bedroom. For a slightly tamer version, the dominant partner can make the submissive watch them get off with a toy.
“Refuse to let your partner pleasure you and make them beg for a taste," Saynt suggests. "Come within a few inches of their mouth, watch their tongue slip out and get just close enough but not quite there. Make your body their prize and make the longing for it the punishment.”
“Grab ice cubes and use them to run along your partner's body while they are restrained,” Saynt says. “Use the ice to stimulate their body and offer a chilling experience.” This can go really well with a blindfold—that way the sub’s other senses, including touch, are heightened.
“What chore(s) does your sub hate doing? Make them do it—meticulously,” Pfeuffer suggests. What better excuse to not have to do the dishes tonight?
If your sub is naughty, take away their table privileges and force them to eat off the floor like a dog.
Tell your sub to get on all fours and act as a stool for you to rest your feet. Dive into a good book and force them to stay still until you’re good and ready to let them get up.
Is your sub being a little brat? “Put your submissive in the corner for a time-out,” Pfeuffer says. “Being ‘grounded’ for a little while can be incredibly effective” in getting them to follow your rules next time.
Dribble hot wax on a naughty sub’s body. Be sure you’re using a body-safe candle (like these from LoveHoney ), unless you really know what you’re doing. You don’t want to cause burns.
“Only allow your sub to pleasure themselves with your permission," Pfeuffer says. "If rules are broken, that permission is revoked." This means you hold the power over whether they experience pleasure or not; their pleasure is a gift you’re allowing them to enjoy in return for good behavior.
Have your sub go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, or some other ordinary place while wearing a panty vibrator. You can accompany them, if you choose. We love the We-Vibe Moxie , which comes with its own remote for the dom to control.
If your sub breaks the rules, write what they did wrong on their body in permanent marker. Make them wear it around all day so they don’t forget how naughty they were.
Have your sub sit in the shower or bathtub and pee on them. This kind of humiliation play can get messy, so you might want to do it in the nude.
This is a form of “restrictive discipline,” much like giving your sub a “time out” in the corner. If they break the rules, take away something they enjoy as punishment. This could be access to the show they want to watch, their cell phone, or even an orgasm.
This one is taken right out of the old Catholic school playbook. If your sub does something they’re not supposed to, have them write out what they did a hundred times as punishment.
Have your sub wear a collar around. This shows them that they belong to you and you are in control. If you want ideas, we love this one .
Thank you, Sir
The ordinary life of a DD sub.
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My Master says this blog is long overdue.
First, some background. I have been with my Master for almost a year now. I was a DD/BDSM novice when we began. Part of my routine has been to keep a diary, but my Master has determined that I would benefit more from a more public “diary” of sorts. Hence, this blog. I am a very private person, and Sir says that I stay too much in my own head. Part of my training has been to own and embrace my emotions, communicate honestly, and receive feedback, and this blog is intended to be a part of this process.
For my first post, I am to transcribe my very first diary entry, so here goes:
I was late returning home from my trip. Master had an enema punishment ritual scheduled for 9pm. I was not prepared until 9:38pm. Cane strokes added for tardiness. One stroke per minute for the first twenty minutes, three per minute for the next ten, five for every minute after. 20 plus 30 plus 40 equals 90. I answered incorrectly when asked, and requested ninety-five strokes, which Master kindly agreed to administer. When I presented, I forgot the wood clamps for my nipples, and was sent to fetch them. Master added five more cane strokes, bringing my total extras to one hundred cane strokes. I can feel my ass clenching as I write this, which is not allowed. Master catches me and sends me for my # 1 plug. Now I must insert it myself in one try, with no lube, and wear it and my nipple clamps until it is time for the enemas. I manage it, but I am nearly crying.
Now I am ready for spankings. Master asks if I wish to take my maintenance or my extras first. I request my maintenance. My ass will be very sore by the time I take my extras, and the cane will hurt more, but it is even worse to take the cane on cold skin.
My maintenance tonight will be medium level – 5 strokes w/ wooden spoon over panties, 5 strokes with metal spatula over panties, 5 strokes w/ leather spanker over panties, 5 strokes w/ flogger over panties, 5 strokes w/ yardstick over panties, 5 strokes w/ crop over panties, 5 strokes w/ large paddle over panties, 5 strokes w/ rod over panties.
Then I will take 100 strokes w/ cane for extras.
2qt warm water – hold for 5 minutes
1.5 qt hot sauce – hold for 3 minutes
.5 qt ice water – hold for 2 minutes
I receive 50 strokes between each enema, implement to be determined based on my behavior during enema administration. During release, I receive flogger to my pussy, thighs, and tits. Plastic nipple clamps also worn during release.
*****To be continued during enema holding time – maintenance strokes begin now*****
I have received my first enema and am holding it for five minutes. Master was very gracious, and did not add to my holding time even though I failed to take the enema at first. I am certain the spanking for this one will be severe though. I am grateful that I took both my maintenance and extras well – I did not earn additional punishment for crying or moving.
The enema is beginning to hurt very much and I am grateful my time is almost up.”
It almost makes me laugh, reading back through this diary. Sometimes I forget how far I’ve come, how well Master has taught me. That there was a time when 5 strokes was considered “medium” anything, I “failed” to take an enema (such small ones too!), or the #1 plug seemed big. I take hundreds of strokes now; if I slip up when taking an enema, I take it over and over until I do it correctly; and the #1 plug is a vacation for my asshole now.
I think this blog is going to be a very interesting experiment for me. I am grateful to my Master for having me begin it. For now, though, I’ll leave it. I have a maintenance session scheduled in an hour and I need to get ready. My ass is twitching already.
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I present to you the fantasy of mine that has been forming in my imagination for years. I hope you enjoy it!
PS: note that English isn't my native language, so that's why the text isn't perfectly written.
I'm lucky enough to live in a world ruled by Men, as it should have always been. I know very well, that Men's role is to dominate and women's role is to be dominated. There is no denying of this. It is the simple truth. Men in general are stronger and wiser than women, so it's natural that They should have a higher place in society isn't it? I have no idea, why any woman would disagree with the proper order. I'm grateful, that my Father and Teachers have taught me my place, so I know how to be a good wife to my Husband. Of course, each Man has His own expectations of His woman, so my education continued even after we married.
In the world, I live in, girls and Boys are taught their roles from the beginning. There are no coeducational schools, not only because it simply isn't proper, but also because the teaching programs for Boys and girls are entirely different. Boys learn the subjects that will help them get a job like math, biology and algebra and also how to handle a woman. They have to know how to control and discipline, what should they demand and which behavior is unacceptable. Girls are learning how to cook and clean and also how to walk and move seductively, apply make-up and style hair. They are also taught the art of pleasing a Man and how to bow, kneel and show respect to Men in general.
If the Master is able to provide for His family, His woman is a housewife and rarely leaves the house. If the Master isn't providing enough, they are simple, not requiring intellect and skills jobs for women like secretary or maid. A working woman is, naturally, still doing all the housework in her free time, since it isn't suitable for Men at all.
My name is Katniss. I'm a thirty-three year old woman with firm c-cups and long legs. I'm in excellent shape thanks to my Husband, who demands that I work out an hour a day. I'm not to ever exercise in His presence though, since He doesn't appreciate the sight of me red and all sweaty. I have very long, dark brown, straight hair, which today I put into a smooth ponytail. As always, I wear my housemaid uniform, which is very revealing. It has no shoulder straps and though it covers most of my breast, Master often pulls it down, effectively changing that fact. It has an extremely short fluffy skirt with white frills, which gives glimpses of my pussy when I move. I never wear any underwear, indoors or outdoors. It would only get in the way, and both my Master and I want my body to be as accessible as possible at all times. I wear high black heels with silver heels and sometimes black stockings. My make-up is delicately done up and my nails are always nicely polished. My Master got rid of most of my hair accessories. At all times there is a white leather collar around my neck – a symbol of my belonging to my Master. Since the ritual collaring on my wedding day I wear it with pride and true joy. It has my Master's last name on it for other Men to know, whose property I am.
Let me take you into my perfect world, you will all wish to live in.
I was busy in the kitchen preparing Master's dinner. One of my daughters was on her knees scrubbing the toilet floor, while the other one was at my Son's service in His room. Everything was almost ready for arrival of the Man of the house. Everything was spotless and shiny, and all of us were looking perfect. My daughters were dressed just like me, but barefoot and collarless, as they weren't married yet. Monique was nineteen and Jessica was eighteen. They both had nice young bodies and looked similar to me. They weren't perfectly trained yet, but eager and quickly learning the proper behavior with, naturally, a huge help from their father and brother. My only Son, Edward, is a very handsome eighteen years old young Man. He is already just as strict and dominating as His Dad, looking up to Him and following His path. Of course, despite being Edward's mother, I obey His orders with the same respect as my Husbands. Nevertheless, in presence of both Edward and Adam, my Master's commands always come first and His satisfaction is my top priority. My daughters obey the same rules.
It was nearly six p.m. and I was hurrying to complete the meal. I needed a few minutes before my Husband's arrival to inspect the girls' appearance. I finished the dinner and headed out of the kitchen. I summoned the girls and quickly checked their hair styles, make-up and outfits. Everything was in order, so I motioned to the door. We kneeled in a row on the hallway floor facing the door. I checked if my girls were doing it properly and their school apparently was doing a good job. Their thighs were spread wide, ankles connected, butts slightly lifted and sticking out, back arched so their boobs would stick out as well. With hands behind backs, head deeply bowed and sights focused on the floor they looked simply adorable.
I got into similar position and we waited exited and joyful for our Master's arrival. Finally, the knob moved and my Husband entered the hallway. Although I couldn't see His face, I judged from His footsteps that He was in a good mood and I smiled widely. Nothing could make me happier than the happiness of my beloved one. He was so caring and thoughtful and I desired nothing more than to repay Him with my obedience and respect.
"Now this is what every man should come home to at the end of a long hard day," He beamed with pride as His girls smiled.
Then Master came over to us and gave eac
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