Doing Handjob

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Doing Handjob
Here are some fun ways to switch up your handjob technique, including the “waterfall” motion and adding a few sex toys.
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Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist and writer with over 20 years of experience specializing in sex therapy. Her goal as a coach and as a journalist: To help you stop feeling embarrassed and start having way more fun in the bedroom. She studied human sexuality at Brown University and has been... Read more
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Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. Here, she answers a question about becoming a handjob pro.
DEAR VANESSA: I have the handjob basics down, but I'm looking for some advanced techniques to take it to the next level. What do you suggest? — Needs a Hand With Handjobs, 24
DEAR NAHWH: I'm so glad to get this question because I think handjobs are criminally underrated. So many people have this idea that a person can touch their own penis better than anyone else can so bothering with them is useless, but that’s a silly reason to avoid what can be one of the most pleasurable techniques in your arsenal. Once you’ve mastered the basics, there are plenty of fun ways to take it to the next level.
First, I recommend experimenting with new hand motions. The basic up-and-down movement can work pretty well when you’re first getting started, but once you’ve figured out the pressure and speed that your partner enjoys, it’s time to explore new techniques. Here are a few to try:
You may also want to get other parts of your partner's body involved. Most people go straight for the shaft of the penis, but you can try paying attention to other areas as well. Try playing with the testicles — take them into one hand and very gently squeeze, or try very gently pulling the entire scrotum away from the body. Lightly scratch your fingertips against the skin of the scrotum. (Notice how I keep using the words “gently” and “lightly”? You want to be careful with the balls.)
You can also try playing with the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the balls and anus. This area is super sensitive, so your partner might enjoy some light stroking or pressure with your knuckle. If they're game, you may also want to try incorporating some anal play . You can gently press a fingertip against their anus or slide a finger up and down the butt crack. If they want more, make sure to add lube to your finger before gently sliding it in. Go slow and keep checking in about what feels best.
Speaking of lube, that can be another way to up your handjob game. I think lube is nonnegotiable for handjobs, but the reality is that most people just don’t use it. If you don’t already use lube, start now. It will make the act so much more enjoyable. If you already use it, try experimenting with different lubes. Silicone-based or even anal-sex-specific lubes can feel awesome with a handjob.
Another idea is to use a toy to assist with your handjob. If you have some sort of regular relationship with your handjob recipient, you could try investing in a male masturbator together. Even though these kinds of toys are called “masturbators,” they’re still a lot of fun to use together. Check out Tenga's Flip series or egg series .
In case you're still looking for a few other ideas, it's helpful to remember that the sky is the limit. For example, you could blindfold your partner while you give them a handjob — not being able to see what you’re doing can make the experience that much more exciting. Additionally, you should try edging. Get them right to the edge of an orgasm (you may have to ask that they let you know when they're close), then stop until they cool down a bit. Then get them right back to the edge. Repeat as many times as they can stand.
Roleplay during handjobs can also make them much more fun; pretend to be a master or a servant, or see what other scenarios you can come up with. And above all, have fun with each other.
Catch up on Sexual Resolution's latest columns:
Now check out 100 years of periods:
Vanessa Marin is a licensed sex therapist based in Los Angeles. You can find her on Instagram , Twitter , and her website .
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When it comes to the best handjob techniques, it is difficult to nail down just one way to go. Let’s be honest, every man and woman is different. Handjob synergy is a big deal. A diverse number of grips result in a variety of responses from men. That’s why the subject of how to give a handjob is complicated science.
The point is, you can’t classify one handjob technique as better than the other. It’s important to experiment with different styles.
Many men find a handjob technique they love and their girl responds by doing it the same way each time.
That’s great, but are you as a guy, or is your man, missing out on some explosive orgasms?
Let’s learn how to give a handjob , but by way of custom techniques.
To begin, this guide is for advanced handjob techniques. Be sure you have your handjob basics down prior to reading. If you don’t feel confident, check out our handjob tips guide .
Depending on what handjob technique you choose, you can alter orgasm intensity and latency. How you give a handjob sets the table for role-playing and dominance. It means everything.
You might not realize this, but if your girl gives you a morning handjob , that’s a fetish, role-playing event.
The line between handjob technique and handjob fetish definitely gets blurred. But understanding how much synergy exists between the two can really enhance you and your handjob partner’s fun.
A handjob tease is a popular way for a girl to get a man’s dick hard as a rock. Typically, a tease prempts other handjob techniques that result in a hard, explosive cum event.
The tease is usually applied using light finger caressing, even fingernails gliding across the dick.
If a girl massages your balls, this is a form of the handjob tease technique. Some girls don’t even realize they are doing it.
The handjob tease builds up your hardness.
Some girls like to see how much of a tease you can take. This is a light BDSM stuff, but certainly far from being fully engaged in pain or restraint. The handjob tease technique is fun and playful for all couples.
When it comes to how to give a handjob, the tease technique is solid stuff.
Low grip handjob techniques tend to delay orgasms. That’s because the most sensitive zones of your dick are at the top.
The low grip can be deployed unintentionally by your girl. It can be frustrating in those times because when you want to cum, sometimes no matter how fast she strokes with a low grip, you don’t cum. Also, you miss out on the ecstasy that is her rubbing your top.
But the low grip has its place. Low grips should be used when the man is near cumming, but doesn’t want to. Low grips are good for starting a handjob.
Remember, by low grip, I mean when the grip remains low. A full grip combines high grip and low grip handjob technique.
The high grip can be a tease, it can be slow, or it lends nicely to a quickie handjob. Lets look at how to give a high grip handjob.
The high grip yields the most orgasm potential. Plus, it can lead to a much more high flying cum event if the high grip is passing the mushroom during orgasm.
The high grip handjob technique hits all the sensitive zones of your dick.
The con, of course, is that you may cum too fast. Have her work both low and high grips to offset an early exit.
It’s not always easy to find examples of single finger handjobs. Many of us have had them. There is often no rhyme or reason as to why some girls only use a single finger wrap during a handjob.
Usually, the potency of the single-finger handjob comes from the high-grip. When the single finger wraps at the very top of the dick, it compresses the man’s most sensitive spot – the backside of his mushroom. Some girls can use just the top if their index fingers to make their man cum.
Some girls apply a single finger handjob technique not realizing how exciting it can be for their man. Others know.
The use of gloves is becoming more popular, oddly, due to coronavirus. Yes, coronavirus handjobs are sort of a thing. Though to be clear, handjobs don’t prevent transferring coronavirus, so both giver and receiver beware.
But the use of gloves in handjob play is hardly new and has little to do with preventing germs. It’s a legit handjob fetish that many couples love. There are lots of different gloves you can use, including rubber, nylon, even gloves you wear in winter.
Sometimes known as a “rough handjob,” a tight grip is the preference for men who like things a little on the coarse side.
The tight grip offers less movement across the dick. Now, you can perform a tight grip handjob with lotion , which indeed does allow some friction to give way and more skin is covered. It’s all in preference.
A tight grip sans lotion is rougher. It can also result in a faster orgasm if the speed is ramped up.
The loose grip handjob is often used as a quickie handjob. The looser grip allows for increased handjob speed. This can lead to a much faster orgasm for you, the man.
The loose grip works fantastic because her hands will pass all the sensitive portions of your dick. The brakes are off during a properly done loose grip.
A good handjob leads to an explosive orgasm. Many men cum harder during a handjob than they do any other sexual act.
So it stands to reason, all that cum needs to land somewhere. Come girls deploy a cum catcher handjob technique.
This means they try to corral in some of the cum in their mouth, or on their tits, even in the palm of their hand.
It can really heighten and orgasm to watch your handjob partner let the load pop into her mouth. It also helps reduce the amount of mess you are both left with.
Kissing while experiencing a handjob from your hot partner is incredibly erotic. Often, as a man, you can try to continue kissing while you cum. It’s harder than you think.
Kissing handjobs are often intensified by your girl, the handjob giver, going full nude. This allows you to toucher her at the same time.
Girls who kiss while giving a handjob get better over time. Kissing removes some of the focus from the handjob. But as girls practice the art, they get better over time.
A fully-nude handjob experience allows all your physical senses to go off. Unlike the non-nude handjob (below) which evokes more mental arousal, the nude handjob offers more skin to skin contact. You can touch her hips, ass, finger her, play with her tits, perform light spanking, etc.
You can rub your body against hers while she performs the handjob.
You get all the benefits of sex, but the control of a sexy handjob.
The popularity surrounding girls in full clothes giving handjobs has bewildered some.
But it’s a big handjob fetish play.
The non-nude handjob is built for the man who enjoys specific type scenarios. For example, your wife gets home from work and gives you a quickie handjob while she is still in her business attire.
Or you talk a friend into giving you a pity handjob , or a friends with benefits handjob goes down. In both cases, the girl probably doesn’t want to get nude for you.
The slow full-grip handjob turns over control to the girl. It allows her to use slow, exaggerated motions to keep the man in a heightened state of ecstasy.
The key is to make sure the grip goes low towards the balls and then passes over the mushroom top of the dick. When the hand passes the top of the dick, the girl should close her hands a little to make sure she touches the entire sensitive point.
Slow full-grips are enhanced by erotic talk and use of eye contact. They transfer command and control to the handjob giver. Eventually, the man will beg to cum. And when he does cum, it will be explosive, so look out if you are the girl giving the goods.
A major benefit to the handjob is that it passes a heightened level of sexual control over to your girl.
Her hands have more control than her mouth or vagina. She can stimulate you slow or fast. She can make you beg. She can make you moan at will.
Some handjob couples like to take the control aspect to the next level.
During a BDSM handjob, your girl may use tools or devices to enhances the experiences. But she doesn’t have to. If she gives you a handjob and commands you the entire time, or teases you into torture, it’s a BDSM handjob.
And BDSM handjobs can be incredibly fun for couples. Even ones who have never done any sort of BDSM before. There is less BDSM commitment.
There is much debate over what’s better, a handjob or a blowjob . And in many circles, it’s debatable whether or not a handjob is a handjob once her mouth becomes involved. When she begins using her tongue or mouth, are you then getting a blowjob?
If the hand is doing 90% of the work, it’s a handjob with benefits. If the mouth takes over as the main attraction, you’re getting a blowjob.
In either case, life’s pretty great.
The key to keeping it a handjob is for the girl not to stimulate fully with mouth or tongue, rather, to let the hand serve as the main course.
If she sucks your balls while jerking you off, that’s a handjob with benefits. If she’s just using her tongue to slide around the tip, it’s still a handjob.
When the hand maintains full control over your orgasm, it’s a handjob.
The handjob watch group fetish is growing. There is no real name for it, so forgive my poor subtitle.
There are many scenarios where people get turned on being watched, or watching, handjobs.
One is handjob education groups. In these cases, a group of wives watches a professional handjob giver perform her best handjob techniques on a man. In really erotic scenarios, that man is one of the wives ‘ husbands.
Other scenarios involve swingers or non-swingers who experiment, giving a handjob to their partner for others to watch or masturbate to.
And finally, some couple allows their wives to give a stranger or friend a handjob. Others allow their husbands to receive a handjob from a stranger or friend.
The handjob is more tolerable to many couples who wouldn’t be comfortable with a full sexual hookup. Often, handjobs aren’t considered cheating.
The reverse grip is an art in and of itself.
In a reverse grip, a girl sits or stands behind the man and passes her hand(s) either under and through his legs, or she reaches around his waist. In both cases, she remains behind him through the duration of the handjob. He will cum out and away from her.
For the man, he enjoys feeling his handjob partner’s breast against his back. He can often feel her breathing against his neck’s backside. And there is something to be said about not being able to see her eyes or face.
The submissive handjob means the handjob giver is in a submissive position. Clearly, this is a subjective event. But for the most part, I believe this means the girl gets down on her knees in some capacity to give the handjob.
The man either stands, or sits on a couch.
He preserves his dominance by looking down on his girl who strokes him. The man doesn’t interact with her body as much, because in those cases, a sense of female worship can replace dominance. Or it can even transfer dominance to her.
For a submissive handjob technique to be on point, the man must remain above her and not touch anything other than her hair and head.
Erotic talk helps. She may refer to him as “sir” while she performs the handjob.
“Sir, are you ready for your afternoon handjob?”
The dual handgrip, which means your girl uses both hands equally during the handjob, can be one of the most erotic techniques a man can experience.
Both hands mean more of the cock’s sensitive zones are covered. Most of the time, a proper dual grip means the girl is appearing way more focused on your dick.
Dual hand grips are highly complimented by lotion use. This is because two hands tend to help remove some moisture from the equation, which can result in more friction. She might spit on your dick to help lubricate, but ultimately, lotion will be needed to allow both of her hands to move without any resistance.
CFNM stands for Clothed Female Nude Male. And yes, it’s a thing. The CFNM handjob is less a technique and more a fetish. This is because any of the above handjob techniques can and should be deployed during the CFNM handjob. But I add it to our list because I believe it fully supports handjob techniques of all kinds.
The CFNM handjob is a fetish that is loved by guys and girls alike. It’s sexy and fun and well, convenient for the girl.
Playing with the balls during a handjob can lead to remarkable cum explosions. A guy’s balls are extremely sensitive to the touch, though, you want to take a gentle approach. If you play with a guy’s balls during a cum session, watch his every digit curl up.
Different handjob techniques result in all types of different pleasure, from mental to physical. Some techniques are driven more by role-playing, others are directly physical in nature.
My best advice to handjob partners is to experiment and mix up your han
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