Does Sex Hurt For Guys

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Does Sex Hurt For Guys

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Karen Pallarito tells stories grounded in science and backed by solid reporting. As Senior Conditions Editor for Health, she covers COVID-19 plus umpteen other health and wellness topics. Her freelance portfolio includes pieces for The Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, Working Mother, Westchester Magazine, and the news syndicate HealthDay, among others. Karen started her career as a health policy reporter in the nation's capital, where she covered congressional hearings on Medicare and Medicaid. From the late 90s to the early aughts, she reported on health business for Reuters Health and contributed to its medical and consumer health newswires. Prior to that, she was Modern Healthcare's New York Bureau Chief. A fellow of the Association of Health Care Journalists' 2019 class on Comparative Effective Research, Karen is committed to helping people understand the benefits and harms of clinical interventions and exposing racial/ethnic disparities in healthcare. When not on deadline, you might find her whipping up something in the kitchen, working out, bingeing on cable news, or indulging in some form of mind candy (aka reality TV).

If you’ve ever dealt with cramping, burning, or stabbing pain during or after sex, you know what a buzzkill it can be when wincing symptoms rob you of your bliss. There are many reasons why women have pain with sex and, well, the same goes for guys.


Men don’t report pain with sexual activity as frequently as women do, but they, too, have issues. An analysis in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 30% of women admitted to pain during vaginal intercourse, and 72% acknowledged pain with anal sex. Among men, only 7% and 15%, respectively, said they had pain with these sex acts. Researchers at Indiana University who conducted the study observed that “Large proportions of Americans do not tell their partner when sex hurts.”


Makes you wonder, do men open up about their pain in the privacy of the exam room?


“We see a ton of men with pain during sex; it’s a big problem,” Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego, tells Health . He says the pain can hinder their ability to perform and may even dampen their interest in sex. “Listen, anything that distracts during the event of sexual intimacy is very disturbing,” according to Dr. Goldstein.


So if your male partner is stonewalling your flirty advances, maybe it’s him. He could have an infection, injury, or some other disorder that could explain why he’s just not into sex right now, and he’s not alone. Men from all walks of life, from the mega-athlete to the sedentary male, can have pain with sex for a whole slew of reasons, Jeanette Potts, MD, cofounder of Vista Urology and Pelvic Pain Partners in San Jose, tells Health . Fortunately, she points out, “the most common things are usually benign.”


Here’s why sex may be less than pleasurable for him:


Peyronie’s disease, also known as curvature of the penis, is a common cause of penile pain—and can be an early sign of this condition. The exact cause isn’t clear, but researchers suspect it a may be set off by repeated trauma, or “micro-injuries,” to the penis due to something like rough sex or multiple attempts to have sexual intercourse with a weak erection .


Or it may be triggered by an acute event, such as a sports injury or even a mishap under the sheets. This can happen, say, when a woman is on top and the full thrust of her body weight comes down toward his penis in a way that misses her vagina but hits his erection. It can “fracture” his penis, Dr. Goldstein says. He’ll have pain and tenderness of the tunica albuginea, the membrane that helps sustain his erection.


Scar tissue, called plaque, develops under the skin of the penis, causing the signature bend or curve of Peyronie’s disease. And that can make vaginal and/or anal penetration challenging, as well as uncomfortable, for the man and his partner.


The type of treatment his doctor recommends—the options range from watchful waiting to surgery—will depend on the stage, symptoms, and severity of the condition.


Swelling of the head of the penis, called balanitis , is often due to an infection, allergy, or some other skin irritation. It can affect any man, but it’s more common in those who are uncircumcised and men with uncontrolled diabetes. Although viral and bacterial infections are possible causes, balanitis is usually due to a fungal infection.


Think of it as the male version of a yeast infection. The foreskin can trap urine and humidity—and “fungus likes moist areas,” Abraham Morgentaler, MD, director of Men’s Health Boston in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, member of the board of the American Sexual Health Association, and author of The Truth About Men and Sex , tells Health .


A man may or may not notice some redness on the head of his penis, especially if it’s a mild case, he adds, “but it will be sensitive.”


Treatment for balanitis depends on the cause and severity. If yeast is the culprit, he’ll need a prescription for antifungal cream.


Lot of things can cause pain with ejaculation. Often it’s a sign of prostatitis, or inflammation of the prostate, says the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease.


The prostate gland is part of the male reproductive system; it secretes a fluid that helps make semen. Typically, when it becomes inflamed, a man will need to pee often, and he'll have burning with urination. It doesn’t usually cause pain with sex until the man ejaculates, and that can be uncomfortable, Dr. Morgentaler explains.


There are different types of prostatitis with different causes, so treatment will depend on results of a physical exam and medical testing.


Less commonly, if the man is having orgasmic pain (sometimes one-sided) and there aren’t other issues going on, you have to consider an ejaculatory duct obstruction , says Dr. Potts. However, this is a relatively rare condition; it’s diagnosed in 1-5% of infertile men.


Normally, the foreskin, which covers the head of the penis in an uncircumcised male, pulls back with erection. But when that fold of skin gets stuck or narrows at the tip and won’t retract, it’s called phimosis. And, according to Dr. Morgentaler, “that can be painful, definitely.”


Phimosis is more common in babies and young boys. In adult men, it’s often due to an underlying infection or inflammation (like balanitis) or an injury to the foreskin itself. Steroid cream and gentle stretching of the foreskin may be prescribed, or, particularly in recurring cases, circumcision.


A related condition, called paraphimosis, can occur after an erection when the retracted foreskin gets stuck behind the tip of the penis and can’t be pulled forward. It can cause permanent damage if left unresolved. Consider this a medical emergency.


A painful, blistering rash on his genitals? That’s the calling card of herpes, a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can affect women as well as men. Genital herpes is caused by one of two strains of the herpes simplex virus (HSV). HSV-2 is the main cause of genital herpes, but you can also get it from HSV-1, the same virus that makes your mouth break out in cold sores.


“Some guys will even get pain before the lesion presents,” Charles Welliver, MD, director of men’s health and assistant professor of surgery in the urology division at Albany Medical College in Albany, New York, tells Health . He says that can be a tipoff to a man that he's about to have a breakout. “It’s usually a burning-type sensation or burning pain,” he explains.


There’s no cure for herpes, but it can be successfully managed with antiviral medications to reduce the frequency and severity of symptoms.


The frenulum (sometimes called the “banjo string”) is a band of skin on the underside of the penis that tethers the glans (the head of the penis) to the foreskin. (This length of tissue may be totally or partially removed in men who are circumcised.)


A short or tight frenulum, known as frenulum breve, can make it difficult for a man to retract his foreskin. When he has an erection, that taut piece of tissue can tilt the head of the penis downward, resulting in painful erections and pain with intercourse, says Dr. Welliver.


What’s more, Dr. Goldstein says it’s common for the frenulum to tear during sex. And that can cause pain and bleeding.


Treatment options range from no treatment (it may heal on its own) or frenuloplasty (frenulum-lengthening surgery) to circumcision.


Anything that irritates the penis, testicles, or groin can mess with a man’s sexual mojo. Up to two-thirds of people with psoriasis, for example, develop scaly patches on their genitals at some point in their lives, says the National Psoriasis Foundation . In men, the rash can show up on the glans, shaft, testicles, pubic area, buttocks, perineum (the area between the anus and scrotum), and all the adjacent skin folds.


Treating psoriasis on the genitals can be tricky because the skin in this area of the body is particularly sensitive. Men should discuss the options with their physician.


Less commonly, thin, white patches of skin may a sign of lichen sclerosus. Guys with this condition can get tearing of the skin of the penis during intercourse or with an erection, says Dr. Welliver.


Allergic contact dermatitis is an itchy, inflamed skin rash that can occur when skin is exposed to an allergen that triggers a reaction. BMJ Case Reports describes one such episode involving a 30-year-old male who developed skin lesions on his penis after wearing a premature ejaculation condom containing 5% benzocaine, an anesthetic intended to prolong his sexual experience.


Although latex is notorious for triggering allergic reactions, the man had a history of using latex condoms without any problems, and patch testing confirmed that he was allergic to benzocaine.


Is your man into cycling or martial arts? What he perceives as penile pain may not be a problem with the organ itself. Sitting on a bike seat or getting kicked in the groin can hurt the pudendal nerve, which supplies sensation to the genital area. Painful intercourse is one of many possible symptoms of pudendal neuralgia .


“The nerve gets irritated and it refers back to the penis,” Dr. Goldstein explains.


Even something like a low-back problem due to an annular tear or age-related wear and tear of the discs in the spine can manifest as penile pain, he adds, which means doctors really have to do some detective work to figure out where the pain is coming from.


When marital, extramarital, or relationship issues are weighing on his mind, a little bit of physical discomfort can get blown way out of proportion. Pain in the genital area “gets pretty revved up,” Dr. Potts observes.


“It doesn’t mean that the pain is fictitious,” she explains. “It just means that that area of the body is very susceptible to stress.” And that, she adds, can magnify symptoms.


Pain with no discernible medical cause can also affect men who have been raped or sexually abused, says Dr. Goldstein. “It’s generated by the PTSD experience—the fear, the anxiety,” he explains. The pain they experience is very real—it’s registered in the brain, which he describes as our “largest sexual organ.”


If a man is getting more action than usual (such as in a new relationship) or finagling some funky new positions to keep things interesting, he may find that his penis aches after sex. More often than not, it’s nothing to worry about.


“People don’t realize how much the penis gets bent during intercourse one way or another,” says Dr. Morgentaler. “If it happens for only a few hours after sexual activity, I tell them it’s completely normal." It usually goes away in a day or two, he adds.


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You may be wondering what sex really feels like for a man and what it would feel like if you were the man in the relationship for a day. You are not the only woman to ever think what it would be like and it is only natural , so don’t feel embarrassed about wanting to know. It is likely that your guy is thinking the same thing about how it makes you feel too. 
It may be something that you have spoken about with your female friends before and they likely have the same questions as you regarding what it feels like for guys. The time usually comes where enough is enough and you want to know what it feels like for him when you are in bed. Various studies have asked men what it is like so keep reading to find out. 
It can be hard to know exactly what he wants for you in bed when you have no idea what it feels like for him, so it can be useful to know what makes him feel good and what he doesn’t like so much. It may also be a thing that just makes you curious and you have always wondered about, but it is nothing to be embarrassed about if you are curious. 
It is likely that it varies a lot depending on each guy but you may have always been curious about how your man feels when you are with him in bed. He likely wonders about how it feels for you too. Keep reading to find out how it feels for him. 
Every guy is likely to explain how it feels to them differently and there is nothing to worry about if your guy’s explanation of being in bed with you is different from the explanations that other guys give, as every experience is different and there is nothing wrong with that, so don’t stress or get worked up about it. 
Your man is with you for a reason–because he loves you and he loves being with you. Don’t start comparing your relationship and your love-life to that of celebrities on television or to what your friends say about their partners. People often say that comparison is the thief of happiness and this is true in relationships too, so make sure to avoid it at all costs. 
Some women likely feel different from others and this is completely normal and nothing to worry about. If your man says that you feel different from his ex or past partners this does not mean that you have anything to worry about or you need to change something, it is normal for a guy to have a different experience with every girl that he is with. 
Many guys say that being in bed with their woman makes them feel loved and closer to them. The act of sex helps to develop your relationship and make both your physical and emotional bond stronger. It helps you get to know each other and your bodies and it creates a connection with them that you don’t share with any other person in your life. 
The connection and physical relationship that you share with your partner is different from every other relationship in your life and it is important to remember to put time into it, no matter how long you have been with each other. Paying attention to your partner’s physical needs will make him feel loved and cared for and will bring you closer together. 
The physical side of any relationship is as important as your emotional connection and it is important to always make time for each other in this way no matter how busy your lives may get. Set aside time to spend with each other and make your partner feel loved. Show him physically how much he really means to you. 
Spending time with his woman makes a man know how special to her. Make sure that you remind your partner how much he means to you and pleasure him by doing the things that he loves most. Talk to your partner and ask him what he likes and dislikes so that you don’t waste your time with things that he may not love. 
It is important in any relationship for you to share open and honest communication with your partner. If you are unable to talk to him about sex, then it may mean that you need to work on your ability to adequately communicate with each other. Healthy communication is the foundation and basis of any relationship and good sex life. 
Find out what sex feels like for your man and ask him what he likes a lot and what he may not enjoy. It is important that you are able to discuss these things together so that you are able to pleasure each other and keep your physical bond and connection strong, no matter how long you have been with each other. 
Your man may tell you that sex feels like nothing else when you ask him what it feels like for him, and this is a normal response for guys to have. While you may worry that this is some sort of cop-out because he doesn’t enjoy it with you , it is likely that this feeling of pleasure is like nothing else that he has ever felt and thus finds it difficult to describe it to you. 
There is nothing wrong with him being able to properly explain to you what it feels like for him, but if he is open to talking about it then it is a good sign that you have a healthy communicative bond with each other and probably a good sex life too. There is no need to know exactly what sex feels like for him to make him happy . 
If he finds it difficult to explain what it feels like or he cannot find anything to compare it to, try asking him instead what he likes, the things that you do that he loves, and the things that he’d rather you avoid. Like this, you can ensure that your partner receives the pleasure that you want to give him even if he can’t find the right words to explain it right now.
For many men, sex feels like a special time that is reserved for just him and his partner. This may explain why he gets upset sometimes if you say that you are not in the mood. He may just miss spending this special quality time with you. Make sure to be honest with him and ask how he feels as this may be causing other issues in your relationship without you knowing . 
Women usually want to understand what sex feels like for men but it is also important to know what it means to them. While you may not always see it as the most important part of your relationship, for many guys it is one of the most important things in developing and maintaining your intimate connection and close relationship. 
Try to speak openly and honestly with your partner about what makes him happy and whether he feels like he is being neglected like this. It may be the case that he thinks that you don’t enjoy it anymore and thus he has begun to start feeling distant and disconnected from you. For men, sex is a hugely important part of any relationship. 
Men often say that sex feels like the epitome of loving someone, it gives them the means to express how they think about their partner and how much having them in their life gives them pleasure. Don’t negate the importance of having sex with your partner and make sure that you always make time for each other even if you are busy. 
If you have been having relationship issues and you are going through a rough patch with your partner, it may be the case that you have lost your physical connection and other parts of your relationship are suffering as a result . Men see sex as very important in a relationship and it is important to maintain this physical connection even if you have been together for a long time. 
It is easy to lose the same love you once had for each other if you no longer have sex and you forget about how it feels to be close to your partner like you used to. Consider whether your relationship has changed since the beginning and focus on what you could do to return to the happy place that you once shared together, it may take time but it will be worth it. 
Many guys say that when t
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