Does Lil Wayne Have A Big Dick
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Does Lil Wayne Have A Big Dick
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Kanye West confirms that a picture of his giant penis is real. Courtney Love is obsessed with her Wikipedia page. Lil' Wayne gets out of prison. Thursday gossip proudly lets it all hang out.
Kanye West admits that is totally his penis in the censored picture at right. (NSFW here . It surfaced last week.) His only regret: Having a dick so big, he couldn't fit the whole thing in the frame. Asked about the image during a radio interview, Kanye said, "Have you heard the first line of Runaway ? [ Ed: "She find pictures in my email / I sent this girl a picture of my, hey!"] I only rap reality! You can't imagine how disappointed I was that I got cut off." [ RollingStone , NSFW BlackBook , images via Getty and MediaTakeOut.com ]
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KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE...
Since we started Miami New Times , it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Grant Albert is a writer born and raised in Miami. He likes basset hounds, techno, and rock climbing — in that order.
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Jason Handelsman
January 14, 2011
8:30AM
Keyshia Dior has been in music videos with Weezy, Jeezy, Gucci, Plies, Timbaland, and now ... Prunk!
"You can't have a small penis and expect to please your girl," she said. I wiped the sweat from my brow as she continued, "It doesn't have to be big like a donkey. But it needs to be a good size."
Let us rewind: I was in Borders Books the other day, flipping through this month's XXL Magazine . And whoa! Within the pages of that hip-hop magazine are some sizzling pictures of Miami's hottest video vixen Keyshia Dior ! As my hands became ever so clammy against the magazine's glossy pages, I made a call with my Bluetooth. My people immediately contacted her people.
We met up the next day and Keyshia asked to be the maid of honor at my upcoming wedding with Trina .
I told her that as much as I would love being Trina's hubby, it is uncertain whether that sort of thing will actually happen. OK? I'm just sayin'. I will stay hopeful in that regard, knowing that if God wants the best female rapper and I to join together in holy matrimony, it will happen. Otherwise, like Jay-Z, I am " On to the Next One ."
That said, I was in the studio with Trina soon after I had interviewed Usher . I was so inspired while in the presence of MJ's heir, that The President covered an Usher song!
I had asked Keyshia Dior what I would have to do to get her in that particular President video. She answered, "I don't do low-budget videos." She continued, "I am really choosy about videos now. I don't do random videos, I have to have an acting role, similar to the one I had in the " Say Something " video."
We then talked about working on a script together. She told me that she is taking acting classes and thinking about moving to Los Angeles to fulfill her lifelong dream of being an actress. She told me that she likes to drink Coconut Ciroc. She told me that she was never in a relationship with Gucci Mane. She kissed my camera at exactly the right moment (see video above at 2:11 mark).
Well Keyshia, thanks to modern technology, you are now in a "low-budget music video." So low-budget, that it only took a few minutes to create and upload. Just by pushing a few buttons on a cell phone. God bless technology and God bless Keyshia Dior!
BTW Keyshia has her own line of lipstick coming out this Valentine's Day, and she gave me some free samples of blue and green. I told her that I would wear the blue lipstick at The President's upcoming performance this Saturday at Miami Beach Convention Center . She promised to stop by! Be there. Holla at your boy!
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News! ,
Funny Or Die
Hours
March 23, 2015
by The Anonymous Woman who slept with Lil Wayne & Drake
Johnny DiNapoli ,
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Timothy Hautekiet
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Oh ,
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Funny Or Die
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Funny Or Die
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David Saint
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Keaton Patti ,
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The following op-ed was written by the anonymous woman who was at the center of a much-publicized rift between the rappers Lil Wayne and Drake . Here, in her own words, is her side of the story.
Hello. As you may have heard, excerpts of Lil Wayne ‘s upcoming autobiography have leaked , particularly a passage in which he and the rapper Drake squash a beef after Drake visits Riker ‘s Island and admits to an incarcerated Weezy that he had had sex with the same woman that Lil Wayne had previously been intimate with ‘ namely, me. Yes, I am the woman who slept with Drake and Lil Wayne.
While my liaisons with both rap men initially caused some resentment between them, they apparently rekindled their friendship by publicly disparaging me and referring to me as both a “ho” and a “dog.” Of course, they buried the lede in regard to all this, and I ‘d like to set the record straight. The real story here is that Lil Wayne and Drake both have tiny dicks.
I ‘m an adult woman, and I ‘ll admit it, I ‘ve made some bad choices in my life. Perhaps chief among them was sleeping with two tiny-dicked rappers who talked about me like I was property. Do I wish I could take it back? I do, and not just because they ‘re both misogynistic idiots. Mostly, I would take it back because of how sad their tiny dicks made me.
So, so sad. I kind of want to cry, thinking about their tiny, sad dicks.
And speaking of crying, Drake cries during sex. But did I even need to tell you that? He ‘s a Canadian pretend-rapper with a tiny dick ‘ of course he cries during sex. But maybe not for the reasons you think he does. It ‘s actually because he ‘s so grateful that anyone wants anything to do with his crooked, tiny, dusty dick.
Drake cries and cries and cries, out of sheer gratitude that you ‘re even looking at his dick. Even if you laugh out loud at his tiny dick, he is still grateful.
Also,Weezy ‘s dick looks pretty much exactly like Weezy ‘s face ‘ sort of like a shriveled mummy, covered in bad tattoos. This is where I have to confess that I don ‘t even know if Lil Wayne ‘s dick is that tiny. Maybe he ‘s a grower, for all I know. But do you have any idea what sizzurp (purple drank) does to you, in terms of erectile dysfunction? That thing ‘s like a wrinkly stack of dimes, and nothing on heaven or earth can change that, with all the chemicals he ‘s got in there.
Try imagining someone attempting to mush that tiny, creepy little wiener into you, and then try not to barf.
I understand how all this might seem like sour grapes to you. I get slut-shamed in the press by two powerful, incredibly wealthy celebrities, and then I put Lil Wayne and Drake on blast for their tiny dicks. So yes, maybe that ‘s true, on some level. But mostly, I just wanted to offer the public a more complete picture of the two icons. Doesn ‘t this explain so much, after all? All the posturing and blatant, weird homoeroticism? Don ‘t you feel like you understand these men and their tiny, weird dicks just a little bit better?
Drake also has one huge testicle that looks like Bill Cosby ‘s face. Peace.
Chocolate or vanilla, time marches on.
On a related note, ‘Live from Planet Earth, ‘ would be a great name for a standup special.
Prison Mike is here to scare you straight.
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