Do you want this to be clearly fictional/satirical so the headline uses the name without implying real events? And what vibe are you after—edgy and sultry, witty and cheeky, or blockbuster sensational?

In a shocking turn of events that has everyone questioning the very fabric of reality, local legend and part-time UFO enthusiast, Charlie 'Cosmic' Collins, has allegedly vanished into thin air during what was supposed to be an ordinary afternoon picnic. Eyewitnesses swear they saw him whispering to a strange glowing sphere before he disappeared in a flash of neon light—proof, some say, that he’s finally cracked the cosmic code. Rumors swirl that Collins is now lounging in some far-flung galaxy, sipping cosmic cocktails and debating the existence of multiverses. Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists are already preparing their theories, claiming this is just the beginning of an intergalactic invasion, or perhaps merely a very elaborate prank. One thing’s for sure: Charlie Collins’ disappearance has ignited the universe’s most wicked gossip columns, with everyone dying to know if we’ll ever see him again—or if he’s just too busy living his best life among the stars.

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