Do Women Like To Be Fisted

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Do Women Like To Be Fisted
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You think you know, but you have no idea.
If your idea of fisting is having someone shove their clutched fist up your vagina , then you've got it all wrong. Instead of that punch to the vag approach, fisting actually consists of your partner entering his or her fingers into your love tunnel one by one—until all five digits are past the threshold.
“Fisting [is the] sexual practice in which someone’s entire hand and all five fingers are inserted into the vagina or rectum,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
As you might imagine, there’s a lot of potential for things to go wrong with this intense move. If you rush into it, your partner’s hand can damage your vaginal muscles and cause scraping and scratches, says Kerner. Eek!
However, when done in a safely with a partner you trust, fisting can provide a pleasurable sense of fullness and lots of vaginal stimulation , says Kerner. So if you and your S.O. want to give fisting a whirl, here’s how to do it the right way.
Safety First
Because your vagina is about to experience some seriously stimulating "fullness," Kerner recommends keeping lots of lube on hand to use throughout the experience. Hygiene is another major factor when getting hands-y, he says. To prevent scrapes or bacteria from entering your lady bits, make sure your partner’s hands are clean and their fingernails are short. Having latex gloves, or finger condoms, if you will, isn’t a bad idea either. They act as a barrier and can make entering easier, says Kerner.
Foreplay Before You Finger
Getting five fingers in your vagina is no easy task! The key to proper fisting is to stay in the mood. The more aroused and relaxed you are, the better chance you have of nailing this act says Kerner. So start slow with some touching, kissing, massaging, oral, or whatever, before you go deep.
Start Slow
“The general technique is start by entering two fingers to the vagina,” says Kerner. “And you want to start feeling comfortable with those fingers.” Then, once you’re feeling good, your partner can slowly add a third finger. He'll want to bundle his fingers together to form a beak-like shape as he continues to maneuver his hand in, says Kerner. At this point, you can encourage your partner to use his thumb to hit the clitoris for stimulation (because yessssss), while his three fingers stroke the G-spot.
Take It Further
For many couples, having three fingers inside the vagina is enough. But, if you’re feeling A-OK and are ready to take it up a notch, grab more lube and have your partner continue on by inserting his pinky and thumb into the beak formation with the rest of his fingers. Then, slowly and gradually he can move deeper, inserting his knuckles and eventually the wrist.
Once his hand is fully inside you, he can try to expand his fingers to provide different types of stimulation such as using his knuckles to hit the G-spot or turning his hand if it feels good, says Kerner. However, if you’re aiming for an orgasm , then you’re going to want to hit the clit. “The clitoral stimulation is going to be a big enhancer [with fisting],” says Kerner. He suggests calling in backup such as a sex toy, his other hand, or even oral to hit the spot.
Talk Him Through It
You've gotta keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn't, says Kerner. As he’s entering you, describe the sensation and maybe give him advice on what to do next. Kerner says to have him focus on slower, gentler movements as opposed to thrusting like a penis.
Scratching or too much thrusting in your vagina can be dangerous, says Kerner. And if you're feeling anything more than slight discomfort, shut it down. If you're just slightly uncomfortable, add more lube .

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People can be squeamish about putting big things inside of their vaginas or anuses, and rightfully so. The idea of putting a giant dildo , a big penis , or even an entire fist inside of you can be intimidating. Fisting, in particular, seems to be shrouded in a unique kind of taboo, which is unfortunate — if people knew more about the sex practice, more people who'd be into it would be able to enjoy it. If the idea of fisting is intriguing to you, there's no reason to let fear or sex negativity stop you from trying it out. You just need to learn exactly what it entails and how to prepare for it. (Hint: Lots of lube is involved.)
Just to clear up any lingering confusion: Fisting refers to an entire hand being inserted into an orifice. While often associated with vaginas, it's also done on anuses (which requires a lot of extra lube and preparation ). "Fisting tends to be viewed as a more extreme sexual practice by some, but can be common in other communities," says Liz Powell , PsyD, an LGBTQ-friendly sex educator, coach, and licensed psychologist. And while sex positive people in general are non-judgmental about fisting, it tends to be more commonly celebrated in queer circles.
When done properly, fisting can feel really good. Take it from Dr. Powell: "Fisting gives an unparalleled feeling of fullness. With the entire hand inside a hole, you can have far more tissue stimulated at the same time." She also says that lots of people like the psychological experience of being "stretched open." Plus, fisting can be an incredibly intimate experience for both partners. "Seeing your whole hand inside of your partner, and feeling the heat and strength of their body from the inside, is something many people enjoy," Dr. Powell says. "This is a form of penetration that allows for eye contact if wanted, and which allows the giver to be fully present in the receiver's pleasure."
Unfortunately, many people have been taught by society that vaginas can stretch and become loose if too many things (or too large of things) are put into them. This has led to the sex negative, misogynistic notion of "loose women" (a.k.a. "women who are easy and have sex often," as Urban Dictionary put it ). The good news is that this problematic conclusion is not only false, but it's based on a myth: Vaginal tissue is meant to stretch and return to its regular shape and size (for the most part), since it's designed to aid in childbirth, according to an Ob/Gyn interviewed by Glamour magazine .
So, as long as you're being mindful of your body and using proper preparation and enough lube, you can enjoy fisting, and your vagina should bounce right back. As for the sex negativity and sexism that feeds into the bias against fisting? That will likely take time to fix, but studies suggest that society is only becoming more accepting of a wider range of sexual behavior each year, so take that for what it's worth.
Safe fisting requires patience, practice, communication, and, yes, plenty of lube. "No matter your gender or the hole you're fisting, be sure to go slower than you think you need to, and use more lube than you think you need," Dr. Powell says. She says that thicker, silicone-based lubes tend to work best, as water-based lubes can be sticky. Using latex gloves ( black ones can be extra sexy) can also make fisting easier, since they prevent lube from absorbing into the skin of the fister's hand and help it slide in smoother.
If you and your partner are both into trying fisting (and you've talked about it ), try starting with one finger and work your way up. Dr. Powell says it can be helpful for the receiving partner to take deep breaths as they're being fisted. If the receiving partner experiences discomfort at any point, step back and pause. After warming up the orifice by starting with one finger and adding more, you can move into fisting by having the giving partner create a " duck shape " with their fingers (meaning: fingers are straight and pressed together, like a duck's beak) to slide the hand in. They should move slowly and in conjunction with the receiving partner's breaths, and if the orifice is ready and willing, they can create an actual fist with their hand (by closing the "duck's mouth") and thrust the hand in and out at a more rapid pace. Again, maintain communication to make sure you're both comfortable the entire time.
As for removing the fist completely, Dr. Powell says that that can get dicier than the initial insertion. Rather than taking deep breaths, she suggests coughing during the fist removal. "This will cause the muscles to help push the fist out of their body," she says. "Removal is the time that is most likely to injure the fistee, so coughing helps their body work with you, rather than against you."
With enough love and lube, anything is possible — including fitting an entire hand in your vagina (without destroying it).
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.


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"It's a bit of a kink for me to see how shocked people are about how much I can handle.”
You've heard of vaginal fingering , but what about vaginal fisting? Fingering entails inserting a finger or two into someone's vagina (and hopefully using your other digits to touch their clitoris). Fisting is an entirely different sensation for the giver and the receiver: it's when you get all five fingers in your partner's vagina, making it past the knuckles and all the way down to your wrist.
“Fisting is a bit of a misnomer because it makes it sound like the hand is entering the vagina as a balled-up, kickboxing style fist, but this is not the case,” explains queer sex educator and journalist Gabrielle Kassel . “The fingers enter the vagina as a 'duck beak' or 'Italian gesticulation' shape.”
Some advanced fisting bottoms (a.k.a. the person being fisted) may have their partner roll their fingers down into a fist once they're inside the vaginal canal, “but the hand does not start as a fist,” Kassel says.
While vaginal fisting may seem like something that only happens in porn, you can definitely pull it off in real life, with practice—and people in all types of relationships can try it out. “While people of any sexuality, kink preferences, and gender configurations can fist, in my experience, fisting is most common in kinky communities and queer partnerships,” Kassel says. “This is because both the queer and kink communities are used to expanding and exploring what can qualify as pleasure.”
To learn more about the wonderful world of fisting—including how to do it—we spoke to three experienced vaginal fisting bottoms:
Kim: “Sometimes, it feels like my partner is the puppetmaster. Their hand inside me, calling the shots, like they made marionette strings of my nervous system. Their hand movement causes corresponding involuntary movements of my limbs, face, neck, and vocal cords. Psychologically, it can put me into sub space, or it can keep me there. It's about surrendering control of my own body. But other times, it feels like I’m a fucking champion. It’s like, ‘Watch what I can do with my hole. Stick your whole fist in there, I dare you.'"
Bex: “Physically, at its simplest, it's about a feeling of fullness. It's a deep and radiating pleasure, the kind I relate to g-spot and a-spot stimulation. There's also something particularly satisfying about the moment the fist is fully inside you.
"Psychologically I very much enjoy the idea of exploring my body's limits and the challenge of taking a fist. I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction and pride when I get past that last knuckle and feel them slip into me, and I love the chance to impress my partner with how much I can take. Occasionally, it can also be emotionally intense and will sometimes leave me feeling a little vulnerable afterward, but having my partner around to cuddle me always helps.”
Danielle: “So I'm 4'10" and 85 pounds, but I have a surprisingly big pussy. It's a bit of a kink for me to see how shocked people are about how much I can handle.”
Kim: “Oh my god, all of it. With a whole hand inside me, my partner can reach places they can't access with other types of penetrative sex. They have the dexterity to feel around inside me, and I can guide them to my pleasure points. Finally, there’s a moment of ecstasy when the hand pushes all the way in, and the hole tightens around their wrist.
We hold so much power in our hands: They create, write, type, eat, open doors, and drive. Our hands are the primary appendage we use to go about our daily lives. Having someone's hand completely inside me links my momentary experience with all of the beautiful things they do with their hands. Being fisted by an artist, I become a work of art. Being fisted by an athlete, I become the game they train for. Being fisted by a skilled driver, they have command over the machine that is my body.”
Bex: “I mean, at its simplest, it feels good! I particularly enjoy the intense feeling of fullness and the fun challenge of pushing my body to see what it can do.”
Danielle: “I simply like feeling very full. There's something about the stretching of my vagina that feels really intense but wonderful. The feeling of seeing how my body reacts when I intentionally connect to it, like when I do my breathing exercises, and they work! Maybe part of me feels like a superhuman? I also always combine it with the Hitachi Magic Wand. I really can't get fisted without it.”
Kim: “Know your body. Try different angles and positions with toys for practice. In order to take an entire fist, you need to be highly aroused, properly lubricated, and as relaxed as possible. Also, communicate with your partner beforehand. (‘Before hand,’ get it?) It's good to be able to vocalize what about fisting appeals to you. Is it the power dynamic? Is it about testing your physical limits? Is it about building intimacy? Also, be in touch with your
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