Do Girls Like Threesomes
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Do Girls Like Threesomes
What Makes Women Want to Have a Threesome
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According to a survey conducted by ABC , 14% of adults (and twice as many single men!) have had a threesome . Another 21% have fantasized about it. But if adding another player in your bedroom is something you’ve always dreamed of, it might take some convincing to get your girlfriend up to the challenge.
While some women ‘gift’ a threesome for their guy’s milestone birthdays (y'know, once you’ve been together for many, many years) or when they find themselves attracted to another lady — the reasons for deciding to try a threesome for the first time varies for everyone. But if you're looking to convince her to have a threesome , see why these seven women decided to add an extra pair legs to their beds:
“I like girls anyway, but I probably wouldn’t have a solo encounter. I like kissing girls, and I love boobs (doesn’t everyone?). I love having a partner in crime to tease and torture a guy until he becomes a wanton animal and then giving him exactly what he wants.”
“My boyfriend and I decided to have a threesome as a mutual decision. I was feeling bi-curious and well... he's a man. We now have them on a regular basis with the same girl, and sometimes mix it up and have them with a guy too! Our communication has never been stronger and our sex life is so much fun!”
“At 20, when I first heard the word ' bisexual ,' and realized it described me, it was like Christmas, New Year's and the Fourth of July all rolled into one. My husband was perhaps equally thrilled when he realized our Sunday girl-watching expeditions could morph into something more 'hands on'. It took a couple of years for us to seduce one of our dearest woman friends into our bed, but it was well worth the wait. My husband and I were so young when we first got together (17 and 18), it seemed logical to explore polyamory so we could explore being with others, yet stay together. It worked well for us. The fact that we often liked the same women made it easy.”
“I decided to try it because I was curious what another woman would feel like. I was also very curious to find out how two female energies can play together with one male energy. To my surprise, it was very comfortable and playful.”
“Honestly, I wanted to try something new. I'm already a sexually open person, so it just made sense for me to keep challenging myself to take it a step further, as long as I was comfortable. It is hard to find a good balance for three people. It is already a very emotional process to sleep with one person, so adding a third can be tricky. But, all in all, it was totally worth it, and totally fun, and I think as long as you feel safe, comfortable, and you trust all parties involved, and keep an open mind, you will have a blast.”
“Mine was with a married couple I am great friends with. It was a running joke with us for a couple years about having a threesome, but that was honestly all I thought it was. One night after a festival in the Florida Keys (where there had been plenty of day drinking!), we decided to go back to their house and have a few more. Suddenly we began talking about it again, and they both looked at each other and seriously asked me if I wanted to that night. I was very hesitant, but the thing that made me do it was that the girl asked me. She not only asked me, but she encouraged everything during the act, so it made me feel much more comfortable. There is no jealousy between us since we are all good friends, which is very rare when two of the participants are married.”
“It was a combination of curiosity and love for him that made me finally give in. I was curious for myself to see if it was really all that. And I wondered if it was something I might get into and enjoy for myself. I also knew he wanted so much to see the two of us girls together and to be together with him, that the more we discussed it, the more turned on I became.”
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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.
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Threesomes top the charts of many a sexual fantasy. Their popularity knows no bounds. According to a survey by ABC N ews , 21 percent of Americans have had a threesome fantasy.
So, what about those who have actually gone a step further and had sex in a trio, whether as a joining part or as part of a couple? What are those experiences like? We all want to know.
And if you’re thinking of trying a threesome, it doesn't hurt to know what you’re in for, plus how (or if) it will affect your relationships with the people involved.
To get the lowdown, we asked seven real people about their threesome experiences and how bringing this fantasy to life affected them afterward.
"My partner and I spent time with a female friend visiting from Canada. We spent an entire day in each other’s company, talking and laughing. We talked so late into the night that it made sense for her to stay at our place instead of driving her back to her hotel room. The three of us came together for a group hug and she nuzzled my neck. It was all the encouragement I needed. Our hands and mouths were everywhere at once. My partner was content to watch but in the heat of the moment, I desperately wanted to see them together. I invited him in—with her consent—and we switched back and forth between each other. I was overcome with emotion—positive emotions. I’d never experienced my partner’s pleasure from the outside looking in, but I could think of nothing better. I truly felt like my heart expanded to encompass the moment and their shared passion. I’d never loved him more than I did in that moment.
"After it was over and she went back home, we went through a bit of grief from missing her. My partner and I spent a lot of time checking with each other—and her. We talked over the details, and the few issues we’d felt. Specifically, I felt excluded once or twice—not from their play but from knowing about it. That’s when we learned that I was comfortable with much of what they did together (without me), but nothing could feel like a secret or an unknown. That was a moment in time when we learned we might have the capacity for a poly relationship and allowing other people into our relationship. We established ground rules (based on what we knew at the time) and communicated. We were fortunate that our threesome ended so well. We’re still friends with that person and there’s talk of having another experience when she visits again." — Kayla, 38
"While living in San Francisco, I was invited to a private party in Napa—a bunch of lovely ladies and some power couples in a lavish vineyard mansion. We had dinner and plenty of wine and started playing silly games. I remember being invited to bed by a couple—I had never had a threesome—but I was curious. I liked the gal but the guy was okay—I didn't want to have sex with him so I made my boundary clear upfront: I didn't want to be kissed by him or to have sex with him, but he was welcome to touch and please me. He was very respectful. His girlfriend and I came and we fell asleep.
"The next morning...we all had started getting naughty again...then suddenly one of the other girls happened to walk into our room and next thing I knew—she joined us and started eating me out. EVERYTHING was so surreal. But it was fun. Sorta like a bucket list I was happy to check off." — Erin*, 34
Watch men and women come up with names for these adventurous sex positions:
"I have had multiple threesomes in my life. Most of them took place during my late teens, early 20s, and before I reached age 30.
"There were two instances where I was actually in monogamous loving relationships and the other woman was a friend of my then girlfriend. It was something spontaneous after having alcohol and listening to music. The women didn't spend the night either time.
"There wasn't a discussion about it in either instance, and the next morning I woke up almost feeling as if it were a dream. The other women never came by my place again and when we were together socially at events, it was as if it never happened."— Kevin, 60
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"When I was in high school, I got super high with my girlfriend and this guy we were mutual friends with. I can’t even remember how it happened, but suddenly she was going down on him and I was making out with him. This went on for a long time, like, maybe forty minutes. There was no sex. It was just a weird experience. I’m 100 percent gay so, I’m not even sure why this seemed like a good idea at the time. We never spoke of it again after it happened. I kept dating the same girl for a while. Eventually we broke up for unrelated reasons." — Brittney, 27
"It happened several years ago, with a friend I'd known for some time. We weren't particularly close, but always warm to each other when we were together. She and her fiancé wanted to experiment (we were, then, in our late 30s/early 40s), and I was safe and just outside of their regular, everyday group of friends. It was a loving, friendly experience—he and I decided early on (almost unspoken), that it would be all about giving my friend the ultimate fantasy , so we let her direct the pace and the activities.
"For me, it was an absolutely incredible experience; casual, fun, warm and lighthearted, with incredible passionate feelings wrapped all around. It only happened that one time. I think they've gone on to have a polyamorous relationship and have been together for five or so years now. She and I still write and text with the occasional phone call." — Jake*, 44
"I was out for a friend's birthday, and I told him one of my life goals was to have a threesome with two dudes who weren't creepy. I also said it would probably never happen.
"The next day, the same friend had a party at the apartment he lived in with a bunch of my other friends. A guy started chatting me up, and he seemed nice. Then a guy I'd been laying the groundwork earlier that week showed up. Turned out, they were best friends. I felt a little moral dilemma, since I didn't have a strong opinion about which guy I'd rather be with. They didn't seem to mind that both of them were flirting with me at the same time, though.
"As I got a little drunker, I decided to literally grab one, kiss him real hard, then turn to the other and do the same (my logic in doing that is still a little fuzzy). However, they both decided to roll with it. None of us lived within walking distance, so we ended up hooking up on the stairs to the basement. I ended up with bruises at even intervals on my back—right under my butt, mid-back, and neck.
"While there wasn't any issue in the moment (they were basically like 'we both get to bang the hot chick'), they were also slightly interested in something further with me. But both ended up backing off for the sake of their friendship." — Janet, 28
"My best friend and I met this guy when we were on vacation in Hawaii. We’d never hooked up before, but decided we wanted to have a threesome with this guy. He was a hot, older surfer dude. The threesome started out really well. We were all about it and all a little drunk. After a while, though, it started getting awkward and weird. Going down on a girl I’ve known since I was thirteen, and have been through so much with, made me uncomfortable.
"After it was over, we didn’t talk about it for a couple of days. Eventually, when we got back from vacation, we hashed it out. Things weren’t the same for a long time. We didn’t hang out as much as we used to. It was painful. Luckily, after a year or so we reconnected on a closer level and now things are back to normal. I didn’t expect my threesome experience to affect my relationship with my best friend that much. It was a really eye-opening experience." — Marie, 25
"After ending a five year relationship with a male partner I was really excited to dive back into dating women (duh) and also wanted to enter back into the casual sex arena. I hopped onto the traditional and not so traditional apps (Bumble and Feeld) and ended up quickly clicking with a gorgeous redheaded goddess in a somewhat open marriage.
"After our first date she invited me to a concert with her, her husband and her group of friends. Plenty of drinks later the three of us stumbled into my apartment. I had been a part of a few threesomes before, but never with a married couple and honestly it was the BEST one I have ever been in because of how open everyone was, how well they anticipated what each of them wanted, and also because they were both focused on pleasing me (maybe I just love being the guest star). To be honest, beforehand, the thought of having a threesome with a couple made me nervous because of potential jealousy issues—but there weren't any here." — Lynn, 26
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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United States
Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
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Neuroscience
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Posted December 4, 2018
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Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
When people have threesomes or other kinds of group sex, how does it usually go? And are some people likely to have be
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