Do Butt Plugs Feel Good

Do Butt Plugs Feel Good
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"I felt an intense, all-body orgasm, the likes of which I’d rarely experienced."
For nearly two decades, I've made a living trying new sexual experiences and writing about them. In that time, scores of companies have sent me toys said to enhance my orgasms. While I've gamely tried them all, I’ve never regularly turned to toys to maximize my pleasure, whether alone or with a partner. What can I say: I’m a creature of habit. Or rather, I was until last year. That's when I stumbled upon an apparatus that took my orgasms to an entirely new level. Simply put, I put something in my ass while masturbating—and now I can’t stop.
I should probably say that this recent revelation was decidedly not the first time I’d put something in my ass and enjoyed it. In fact, one of my first writing assignments—way back in 2002—involved me using a butt toy and writing about the experience. And while that experience was a positive one, it was not entirely positive enough for me to use the thing more than my dispatches required. It just seemed like more bother than it was worth.
Years went by before I was on the receiving end of an insertable again—and when I was, it was usually at the behest of a partner. A succession of girlfriends expressed an interest using a strap on and, being up for hijinks, I said sure. While I have fond memories of the power-exchange part of the experience, at the time only two upsetting thoughts filled my mind: that my girlfriend was going to literally rip me a new one, or that I was going to make an epic mess from which our relationship would never fully recover. Luckily, neither of those things came to pass, but still, getting “pegged” was not something I regularly suggested during a cozy evening at home.
A couple of years ago, however, I started dating a woman who enjoyed wearing a butt plug during sex, and she was the first partner to buy me a matching one. Made by a company called Fun Factory, it was relatively small and innocuous item coated in a velvety silicone and had a cute name: Bootie. She described the feeling of being plugged during sex as being “activated,” and on several occasions, we had sex while both of us were activated, our matching Booties installed. It added a new, exciting, and egalitarian aspect to sex, but I tended to take mine out partway through our long sessions as the feeling of having something stuck in my craw took away from my orgasms rather than adding to them.
The real difference maker in the way that I feel about butt toys came in the form of a different sex toy—the Pure Wand by Njoy. I originally purchased this heavy, stainless steel implement after a sex coach showed me how effective, not to mention labor-saving, it could be in eliciting female ejaculation. Indeed, every time I’ve used it for this purpose, it’s delivered results that can be best described as being both wet and wild.
The day after one such session, I saw the Pure Wand on my drying rack along with my plates and silverware and, on a whim, decided to check out its utility as a prostate massager. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that secretes prostatic fluid, and the smooth muscle that surrounds it is what contracts when guys ejaculate. The biological function of the fluid—which makes up around 30 percent of semen—is to carry sperm, which makes up just two percent of semen—to an egg. Stimulated externally by rubbing the “taint” or internally via the anus, the prostate is also called the “male G spot” as stimulating can alter and intensify orgasms brought about by the stimulating the penis alone.
Given how many of my partners were fans of simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation, I decided to take the chill off the heavy, curved, stainless steel implement by soaking it in a bowl of hot water and have myself a rainy afternoon adventure. The Pure Wand has two different sized balls on either and, though I usually used the larger one with female partners, I decided that I didn’t need to be a hero right off the bat, and went with the smaller one, which is about the size of a cherry tomato. The bedside vat of coconut oil I usually fap with pulled double duty—and with a minimum of fuss, I slid the smaller ball in and made contact with where the prostate is, about two inches into the rectum, towards the belly.
Now, the real difference with the Pure Wand—over things I’d put where the sun don’t shine before—is that the shape and weight of it make it very easy to wield, even when the other hand is occupied. Moving the exposed end of wand virtually guarantees that the prostate gets rubbed. I knew when I found the optimal depth, pressure, and cadence because I quickly and suddenly found myself at what’s scientifically known as “ejaculatory inevitability” and colloquially referred to as “the point of no return.”
Realizing that resistance was futile, I carried on and felt an intense, all-body orgasm, the likes of which I’d rarely experienced. My skin was goose-pimpled, every hair on my body was standing on end, and it took several beats for my surroundings to come back into focus. While I can never really know, this felt like how female friends and partners had described their orgasms to me.
Though I tried going back to my time-honored method, masturbating without the prostate stimulation that the Pure Wand so ably provides just seems, well, anti-climactic. Consequently, masturbating now involves a few extra steps that make it a little less spontaneous. But then, maybe being more intentional about the orgasm I’m planning to have is part of what’s makes masturbating with the wand so good.

Everything You Need to Know About Butt Plugs

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Everything You Need to Know About Butt Plugs (and How to Use Them Properly)

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When it comes to anything going near your region back there — and yep, that means your anus — there's a good chance that you probably aren’t the biggest fan. Because of cultural stereotypes, most heterosexual men are hesitant to explore any type of backdoor play, worried about what it says about their sexual orientation or why they can feel stimulated in a region not typically associated with pleasure for men.
While many guys will experiment with a little anal finger play , and will likely be interested in penetrating their sex partners' anuses, their experiences with tantalizing their own anal areas is likely limited.
But let us be the first to shed some light on this for you: There are so many ways to make yourself incredibly turned on when you let go of a bit of control. In addition to fingering and if your gal is up for it, some tongue action, using butt plugs either on yourself or on your partner can be a spicy addition to your sex life .
While we highly recommend you try to introduce butt play positions, discussions and methods when you’re in a healthy, accepting and committed relationship, being unafraid to explore the various dimensions of your sexuality could take your sex game from pretty okay to pretty stellar.
If you’re intrigued enough to keep reading, give us the chance to show you just how much fun you could have with some lube and an open mind. Here’s everything you need to know about butt plugs.
Though the term itself leaves very little to the imagination, it is good for explaining the tool itself. Just as it sounds, Hunter Riley , a sexual expert and educator and the manager of operations and outreach for Self Serve Toys , explains the very essence of a butt plug in terms of sexual play.
“A butt plug is a sex toy that can be inserted in your butt safely, because it has a flared base," says Riley. "When butts get excited they can sometimes suck things up, or push things out. A butt plug generally has a flared base that anchors the toy outside the body."
Riley goes on, noting that “you should never put anything in a butt that doesn't have a base that is wider than the widest part of the toy."
"Butt plugs are often worn during other kinds of sexy play. They are typically inserted and left in. This can feel good because the sphincter muscles often contract naturally during arousal and orgasm, so if you're wearing a butt plug, the natural movement of your body can move it back and forth," adds Riley. "And if you have a prostate, that movement can be a great way to get prostate stimulation ! Lots of men love wearing a butt plug while they penetrate their partner because the combination of movements and sensations can feel incredible!”
If you're part of a heterosexual sex partnership, another way to incorporate butt plug action into your sexual routine is to have your female partner wear one. Especially if she is open to trying anal sex, she might enjoy the double-penetration-like action that a butt plug could provide for her, and if she’s had any experience with sex toys in the past, this could help make her more comfortable.
“It is shaped similar to a dildo, sometimes to resemble a penis, but with a flanged end (wider base) to ensure the plug is not lost inside during possible rectal contractions," notes Angie Gunn, LCSW, sex therapist and sex therapy expert for Talkspace . "Some bases are shaped with a loop to grab onto, or a flat end so as not to get in the way during vaginal penetration."
Once you’ve both decided that you’re ready and willing to give butt plugs a try within your relationship and sexual dynamic, you might be overwhelmed figuring out where to start.
With dozens upon dozens of options made in all shapes, colors, size, formats and materials, knowing which one is best for your body (and for her’s) could be more complicated than you’d expect. The same goes with how to um, put it up there, right?
No worries, the experts have you covered with their best tips on getting started with butt plugs:
It’s likely been quite a long time since you were a virgin, but when it comes to anal play and using butt plugs, there's a pretty decent chance you still have your V-card. Just like you didn’t quite know what you were doing as a teenager or a young adult when you first had intercourse, you want to give yourself a break, have some patience and take it really slow when you first start.
“Start small and slow. It's really important to start with something really small to get the anal sphincter muscles accustomed to having something inserted,” says Riley. “I recommend start on the opening to anus with the pad of your finger and bunch of lube. Use massage and pressure to warm up the sphincter. Think of like knocking on a door before you enter someone's house. It's just common courtesy.”
When you have anything coming into the back door, lube is your best friend. It makes the whole process less gross and more slippery.
“There's no such thing as too much lube, because the rectal lining doesn't produce natural lubricant the way a mouth and vagina do. Lots of people experience pain or discomfort during anal play because they aren't using enough lube. And no, spit doesn't count,” explains Riley. “I recommend trying a silicone based lube and a water based lube to see if you have a preference. A new oil-based lube, called The Butters, has been getting rave reviews for butt play. But beware that oil-based lubes are not safe to use with most barrier methods, so only use that if you are having barrier-free [i.e. unprotected] sex. Also, I highly recommend using a lube shooter to help get the lube where you want it, as opposed to only at the anal opening.”
If you’re using the butt plug on your partner and she’s hesitant, a nice way to make the act feel more intimate and less scary is to put those massage skills to work.
“It can erotic to play with the idea of anal stimulation telling you partner how you are going to insert it and slowly move the tip around the anus as one talks gently pushing the tip into the anus until the person is relaxed enough to allow it all in. A huge part of anal play is relaxing the muscle so that it does not hurt and that is also about relaxing the mind,” suggests Dawn Michael Ph.D. , a relationship and sex expert and author.
If you’re doing this and you’re a bit weary of playing around the area, don’t worry. Riley notes that latex gloves, like the ones doctors and dentists wear, can be a welcomed accessory to match your butt plug closet.
“If you are putting your hands in someone's butt to warm them up for a butt plug, and also putting your hands other places, you need to be very aware of which hand goes where,” says Riley. “With gloves, just know that the gloved hand is the butt hand, so before you put that hand anywhere else, you can take off the latex or nitrile glove. Also, gloves help smooth over hangnails and calluses, which can feel much more intense in a butt than in a vagina or mouth."
When first exploring butt plugs, you’ll want to figure out what the best sex positions will be for you and your partner. Gunn recommends a few to give a chance to first: “During vaginal penetration from behind (doggy style or standing leaning over a bed) it can feel really good to have additional pressure from a partner pushing slightly with a finger or their body weight on the end of the plug,” she says. “Intermittent pressure can feel like anal penetration, adding more intensity to the sex.”
And if you’re both open-minded to the plug use, consider playing a swapping game. Making sure of course, you cleanse between insertions: “Explore taking turns using the plug while in different angles or positions, or on its own to create increased pleasure,” notes Gunn.
Even the very thought that your partner is doing daily chores or cooking dinner while wearing a butt plug can be enough to excite you far before dessert time. Make the lead-up to butt plug sex just as much fun as the act itself by using it frequently, regardless of whether you’re in the mood to get it on or not.
“It can be fun to wear a plug while out in public or doing tasks around the house as a reminder of eroticism between you and your partner, to build anticipation for an upcoming sex act or to help your rectum to become more accustomed to penetration as preparation for anal sex ,” says Gunn.
A word of caution though: “It’s not recommended that you wear a plug for more than two or three hours, so be sure to get to business by then,” advises Gunn.
The experts don’t suggest leading with your newfound curiosity right off the bat. In fact, Riley suggests talking about it while you’re both fully dressed to ensure that everyone can consent without pressure, since sexual consent is of utmost importance, regardless of what you're trying.
“It's definitely not OK to surprise someone with anal play or butt plugs. I would recommend visiting a sex shop online or in person and going to look at their butt toy section. If you feel nervous about approaching the subject, use a yes/no/maybe list to get on the same page with your partner,” she says.
Be prepared for other conversations that might arise from a yes, no or maybe list , too. As Gunn says, the ability to talk openly, proudly and confidently with your partner about fantasizes might open many horny doors. That’s why communication must be your utmost priority here.
“In terms of beginning to explore the use of butt plugs in sex, the conversation is highly dependent on what’s currently happening in your relationship or sex. Are you and your partner pretty adventurous and creative? How is your communication about sex and your wants and needs, fantasies and fetishes ? If you communicate openly, it can be easy to discuss the pros and cons of a new activity like adding toys or plugs,” she says.
“If not, creating some space and openness for these conversations is your starting point. Show acceptance, flexibility and curiosity about your own and your partner’s erotic triggers, listen and seek to understand. While every fantasy does not, and maybe should not, be explored in person, it can be really fun to seek intersections between your fantasies and those of your partner, and try a few.”
If you’ve ever found yourself oddly turned on by a piece of equipment or used something, say like, a bar of soap, to masturbate with , you know that many inventions are not only used for their intended purpose.
“Butt plugs, like many other sex toys, have been around for a long, long time, and some are were used as medical devices to treat challenge or concern patients were having,” says Riley.
This is exactly what happened in 1892, when Frank E. Young created the dilator. Meant to help those who struggle with obnoxious constipation and piles (better known as hemorrhoids), the device was meant to be shoved, um, up there to build your muscles.
The vintage advertisement read, “First warm dilator in warm water; then lubricate outside of dilator with Dr. Young’s Piloment (or if it is not available, with vaseline) and while in a squatting position — or while lying on the side with knees drawn up — gently insert in the rectum as far as the flange or rim. Hold in place a minute and the anal muscles will hold and retain it. Sit or lie down and allow it to remain for half an hour or an hour to get the best results. Ten minutes will accomplish much. When ready to go on to the next larger size, it is best first to use for a few minutes the same size you have been using, inserting and withdrawing it a few times.”
It wasn't an easy task or a quick fix as you might think or how it’s explained, according to Gunn.
“The device was 4.5 inches long and quite girthy, so likely not the best starter plug for most,” she notes. In fact, a few years later once more standards were placed on the regulation of medical devices in 1940, they were outlawed. Why? False advertisement, the hearing declared that "it would be dangerous to health when used with the frequency and duration prescribed, recommended, or suggested in the following labeling.”
Though Young didn’t mean to evolve a whole plethora of sex toys that reach the G-spot and tantalize thousands, we can thank him for inventing the butt p
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