Do Aliens Exist? Congress Demands Answers from TikTok Teens

A congressional hearing took an unexpected turn when lawmakers turned to TikTok influencers for answers about extraterrestrial life. "These kids can identify UFOs better than our $80 billion defense apparatus," admitted Senator Lindsey Graham, gesturing to a group of Gen Zers analyzing Pentagon footage with anime filters. The star witness was 19-year-old @AlienHuntr69, who demonstrated how she'd used FaceApp to "de-blur" government images, revealing what she swears is "a Grey holding a Starbucks cup." The Pentagon's chief scientist grew visibly frustrated when one teen correctly identified a supposed weather balloon as "clearly a Tic Tac like in that one video." In a dramatic climax, the committee voted to outsource UFO detection to TikTok's algorithm, though the measure stalled when nobody could explain how to turn off the platform's "alien encounter" AR filters. Meanwhile, NASA announced it will livestream its next Mars rover landing exclusively on Twitch, with commentary by popular UFO conspiracy streamers.