Dirty Minded Wife
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I'm a normal, suburban mom with inappropriate fantasies that I can't risk sharing with my husband.
New England, USAРегистрация: июль 2014 г.
10 Things Women With Naughty Minds Deal With On A Daily Basis
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By Holly Riordan
Any woman with a dirty mind is cursed with constant thoughts of making love. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, because the most salacious things will creep into your mind at unfortunate times. While your guy might be happy about your naughty side, the rest of the world won’t be all that impressed.
1. You laugh at inappropriate times.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of an important meeting or at a funeral, because if someone accidentally says something suggestive, you won’t be able to hold back your laughter. Most of the people around you won’t have a clue why you’re laughing, and the people that figure it out will just roll their eyes and call you immature.
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2. Making love is always on your mind.
Pretty much any conversation will make you think of intimacy. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about peanut butter and jelly, because there’s a dirty joke in their somewhere. Even if there isn’t, you’ll create one.
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4. You risk getting shamed.
When you sleep with someone, you’ll pray that they’re as kinky as you because you’re going to mention handcuffs to them at some point. If they get frightened by you just joking around about toys, imagine how scared they’ll be when you actually suggest using them.
5. You’re told to keep your voice down.
Even if you’re in a room full of frisky college students, your friends will tell you to keep your voice down when you start talking about intimacy. For some reason, people consider it a taboo subject, which you find ridiculous. If everyone around you has done it before, why can’t you talk about it at a normal volume?
6. You surprise men with your dirty talk.
Men love to talk dirty in the bedroom, but some of them don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Once they hear what you have to say, they’ll be taken aback because they never knew how naughty someone could really be.
7. You ask invasive questions.
When your sister talks about her new boyfriend, your parents will ask her about his age and hobbies. Meanwhile, you’ll ask her about his favorite positions and toys. Everyone else will find your questions inappropriate, but you don’t see anything wrong with them.
8. You have unwanted fantasies.
You don’t want to fantasize about the random coworker standing in front of you, but intimacy is always on your mind, which is why you can’t stop yourself from picturing him naked. You do it to everyone, so it’s not like he’s special.
9. You hate spending time with children.
When your friend’s daughter decides to watch TV with the two of you, you always end up getting in trouble. No matter how hard you try to act appropriately, something naughty will always slip out of your mouth. Then the kid will either giggle or be scarred for life.
10. You hate spending time with parents.
Children aren’t the only ones you have to be careful around. Even though your parents are used to your naughty jokes, your friends’ parents would be appalled by them. That’s why you have to tone it down whenever you visit their houses. Otherwise, they’ll consider you a bad influence.
11. You struggle to filter yourself.
Some people say whatever’s on their mind. While you’d love to be one of those people, you know that you’d get tossed in jail if you verbalized all of your thoughts. That’s why you try to filter yourself, even though it doesn’t always work out.
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Holly Riordan Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.
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10 Things Women With Naughty Minds Deal With On A Daily Basis
Dirty Minded Wife
