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'DoubleDickDude' gets candid on Reddit

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We’re only two days into 2014 and already a viable candidate for Most Fascinating Person of 2014 is “The Guy With Two Penises,” who has become a Reddit sensation over the last 24-hours. Last night, he held an intriguing AMA that covered candidly a wide range of sexual, anatomonical and personal questions about the condition he was born with known as “diphallia.” Here are 10 of the more fascinating things you’ll learn from “DoubleDickDude” about life with two penises.
1. High school was, uh, hard When asked if there ever was a time when he wished he had but one penis, DoubleDickDude replied “high school.” And when a Reddit user tried to cheer him up by saying, “But you were the baddest motherfucker in the locker room, right?” he said, “When it first got out, yeah. But then it became a joke and guys immediately thought i was gay, because . . . you know I guess I chose to have two cocks.”
2. He’s happy now happy with his anatomy Has he ever considered having one of his penises removed? “In my mid teens, yeah, ” he said. “Now, hell no.”
3. Most of the women and men he’s been with enjoy the extra penis “I’ve been in a serious relationship with a girl and a guy for a while now,” he said. “I call it monogamous because we are exclusive. She enjoys it. The three girls before her enjoyed it. It’s sort of made a few run screaming in the past. Usually the ones I get to know well before we date are cool with it. I don’t talk about it otherwise. Like, if I’m not going to have sex with you, you won’t know I’ve got two dicks. LOL”
4. Yes, he has inserted both into “the same hole” Asking what it’s like to have both in the same orifice, he answered, “Snug? It’s nice. I like hearing the moaning from the person I’m squeezed inside of.” Regarding one particular woman, he said, “She complained later, though, that her cervix was poking out and that her hole was huge. She kept coming back for more at least for three months. LOL”
5. He avoids public restrooms “If I do use [a public restroom], I try to use the stall and not a wall urinal,” he said. “There’ve been times where I’ve had to use the urinal and because I have one muscle that controls my piss, it lets the stream flow out both my dicks. So unless I pinch off one of them it comes out both and that doesn’t feel good. So I have to take both out to pee. Yeah I’ve gotten stares and even had a few guys at various times go, holy shit .”
6. Both penises pee at the same time . . . “It’s not tricky,” he said. “I’ve pee’d from both all my life. ;)”
7. . . . But they usually get erect at different times “It always starts that way,” he said. “The left one starts to get semi first, then stops at a certain point. Right one then gets rock hard, and if I’m horny enough the left one will continue to stiffen up and get bigger. Once or twice, with a cock ring on, they’ve both been equally rock hard.”
8. They both “cum” at the same time, though not at the same speed “If you’re working on the left one you have to suck it out,” he said. “The right one launches every time. ;)”
9. Not all of his sexual partners believe both penises are real “[The reaction] varies from girl to girl,” he said. “Some have been like, wow . Some have been like, that’s fake ! Some have freaked out like, called me names. Most are pretty curious, but i dont have casual sex anymore. . . [In the past] girls were nervous and some changed their mind at the last minute. Dudes never change their mind; they always want it even if they’re freaked out a little. LOL”
10. Yes, he does have a favorite penis “The right one,” he said. “The left one has a grudge against me for it too. LOL”
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*First Published: Aug 3, 2016, 2:52 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go

Posted on Aug 3, 2016 Updated on May 26, 2021, 8:24 am CDT
Every now and then, the internet treats us to a tale of such profoundly inexplicable behavior that we begin to suspect we’ve slipped into an alternate dimension. Or that life is an elaborate—but glitchy—simulation.
How else can we hope to understand someone like the guy who thought toilet seats were just for women and always sat directly on the rim to poop ? And how else are we to cope with the fact that redditor WaywardChronicler went to r/malefashionadvice with a question about the embarrassing bulge in his jeans only to realize he was the problem?
Your whole world is in question? What about ours?! Now we have to walk around knowing that like one guy in a million is specifically angling his dick straight up so it’s “pointing toward [his] head”? What the fuck, man?
“Is downwards facing actually the natural direction?” My dude, have you ever been naked? Had a health or biology class? I’ll be honest: I tried the flipped-up dick orientation just now and couldn’t even walk around my apartment without wincing and limping. God have mercy on you.
But, to your credit, you finally figured it out. Things are gonna be different from here on out. Hikes will feel better. The underside of your shaft won’t chafe as much. And all those irritating pants bulges will magically vanish.
Welcome to the future, WaywardChronicler. Your wayward days are over.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'
These female creators are demystifying personal finance on TikTok
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‘Don’t want it to be awkward’: Domino’s worker mocks when customers come in 6 times within a week
TikTok’s ‘Corn Kid’ is now a big meme

*First Published: Aug 3, 2016, 2:52 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go

Posted on Aug 3, 2016 Updated on May 26, 2021, 8:24 am CDT
Every now and then, the internet treats us to a tale of such profoundly inexplicable behavior that we begin to suspect we’ve slipped into an alternate dimension. Or that life is an elaborate—but glitchy—simulation.
How else can we hope to understand someone like the guy who thought toilet seats were just for women and always sat directly on the rim to poop ? And how else are we to cope with the fact that redditor WaywardChronicler went to r/malefashionadvice with a question about the embarrassing bulge in his jeans only to realize he was the problem?
Your whole world is in question? What about ours?! Now we have to walk around knowing that like one guy in a million is specifically angling his dick straight up so it’s “pointing toward [his] head”? What the fuck, man?
“Is downwards facing actually the natural direction?” My dude, have you ever been naked? Had a health or biology class? I’ll be honest: I tried the flipped-up dick orientation just now and couldn’t even walk around my apartment without wincing and limping. God have mercy on you.
But, to your credit, you finally figured it out. Things are gonna be different from here on out. Hikes will feel better. The underside of your shaft won’t chafe as much. And all those irritating pants bulges will magically vanish.
Welcome to the future, WaywardChronicler. Your wayward days are over.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'
These female creators are demystifying personal finance on TikTok
‘It was actually pretty dope’: Comedian parodies those exhausting ‘Day in the life’ TikToks
‘Don’t want it to be awkward’: Domino’s worker mocks when customers come in 6 times within a week
TikTok’s ‘Corn Kid’ is now a big meme

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