Devious Queen
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Devious Queen
Devious Facts About The Most Ruthless Queens In History
Devious Facts About The Most Ruthless Queens In History
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Hundreds of years ago, a high-born lady was expected to be a meek companion to her husband, especially if that husband was a king—but not every woman listened. From conniving queens to scheming consorts to rulers in their own right, here are devious facts about the most ruthless queens and empresses in history.
Empress Wu Zetian was China’s sole female ruler, but her rise would fit in perfectly on Game of Thrones. She started as a concubine of Emperor Gaozong, and eventually gave birth to his child. When the baby died soon after, Wu blamed its death on the reigning empress consort, Empress Wang. But that may not be the full story: disturbingly, some historians believe that Wu strangled the child herself.
Wu has become infamous in the (male) annals of history as a cunning, ruthless woman, especially after she shoved aside her children and declared herself Empress in 690, founding her short-lived “Zhou Dynasty.” One source described her as hated by “gods and men alike.”
Over a 30-year career, Kösem Sultan rose from slave concubine to Regent of the Ottoman Empire. Unfortunately, she lost practically every close male family member on the way there. She lived through the reigns of six sultans, and survived every single one but the last. After Kösem was assassinated by her own daughter-in-law in 1651, the people fittingly called the long-serving, long-surviving queen their “Vālide-i Maḳtūle,” or murdered mother.
Queen Christina of Sweden’s mother was never shy about her disappointment in the gender of her only child. Maria of Brandenburg was desperate to give her husband a son, so when presented with the baby girl Christina, Maria rather tastefully screamed, “Instead of a son, I am given a daughter, dark and ugly, with a great nose and black eyes. Take her from me, I will not have such a monster!” Maria would then “accidentally” almost kill Christina several times by dropping her or pushing her down the stairs; she even made the girl sleep under the rotting heart of her dead father.
For decades, Henri II of France embarked on a lifelong love affair with his mistress Diane de Poitiers. Even on his deathbed from a tragic jousting accident, Henri begged to see her. His wife, Queen Catherine de Medici, was less than sympathetic to his final pleas, and refused Diane entry to his room. He died without Diane at his side, and Catherine exiled Diane to a distant obscurity.
Catherine de Medici’s husband was so enthralled by Diane de Poitiers, in fact, th at it was Poitiers who had to remind Henri of his royal baby-making “duties,” and bid him to spend more (re)productive time with his wife. You know you’re doing something wrong when your mistress starts telling you to sleep with your wife.
When Isabella, the “She-Wolf” of France was approximately three years old, she became engaged to the future King Edward II of England, and they were eventually married in 1308. Though known for her beauty, intelligence, and diplomacy, she was most infamous for her role in having her own husband dethroned.
The marriage between Edward II and Isabella never stood a chance, because Edward was already in love with someone else. Edward met Piers Gaveston when they were just teenagers, and it was supposedly love at first sight. At his wedding to Isabella, Edward even gave Gaveston some of the jewels from his wife’s dowry and sat with Gaveston, not Isabella, at the festivities.
With the way things were going between Isabella and Edward, it’s not surprising that she ended up falling into the arms of Roger Mortimer—an English knight. Isabella raised an army with her new sidepiece and launched an attack on England, i.e.on her own husband, Edward II. Now if that’s not ruthless, I don’t know what is.
Isabella’s husband Edward was naturally ticked off, and allegedly offered a reward for the deaths of the two lovebirds, but Isabella responded in kind by offering twice as much money for the death of one of Edward’s allies.
The battle against Edward II turned out not to be much of a battle, and he was captured and forced to abdicate in favor of his son, the newly-minted Edward III. But the people soon found out just how cruel Isabella was, and support for her and Mortimer quickly dwindled. Eventually, Edward III had Mortimer executed, but showed mommy dearest Isabella some leniency and spared her life. Nonetheless, he kept her powerless until her death.
Queen Maria I of Portugal was already a bit bonkers, but after the death of her husband/uncle (…yeah) in 1786, and her son and daughter shortly afterwards, she really lost her mind. A religious fanatic, she became convinced she was going to hell, and saw visions of her dead father’s blackened corpse being tortured by demons. Her visitors complained that she screamed and wailed too much. Everything in moderation.
The Wars of the Roses were a truly bloody time in English history. Two branches of the Plantagenet kings, known as the House of York and the House of Lancaster, tore English society apart with their brutal game of thrones. It’s hard to find a real out-and-out villain of the event, but one person who ended up on the wrong side of history would have to be Queen Margaret of Anjou.
Margaret was crowned Queen Consort of Henry VI on May 30, 1445. She was only 15 years old, eight years younger than her husband. Despite the need for a male heir to the king, Margaret and Henry VI didn’t have their only child, Edward, until October 1453, more than eight years after their wedding.
Even at the time of their son’s birth, Henry VI was suffering mental breakdowns and exhibiting signs of a deteriorating mental state, which left him unfit to rule. As a result, Richard of York, a relative of the king, was appointed Lord Protector. However, Margaret wanted that power for her and her son, and she entered into the Wars of the Roses to get it.
Because of Henry VI’s madness, many believed that Margaret’s son Edward was actually fathered by another man.
The Wars of the Roses would famously provide a lot of inspiration for writer George R.R. Martin to create the Song of Ice and Fire series, which was adapted by HBO into Game of Thrones . Many have noted that the character of Cersei Lannister shares a lot in common with the historical Margaret.
Like Margaret, Cersei is rumored to have fathered her children with another man rather than her royal husband, though in Cersei’s case, that rumor is indisputably true. Also like Margaret, Cersei was fiercely devoted to her children, and gained a reputation for deceit.
Elizabeth Woodville is considered the first common-born Queen of England, and she was also a key power player in the Wars of the Roses. In truth, though, Woodville wasn’t really a “peasant” queen. On her father’s side, she was descended from knights, sheriffs, and members of Parliament. This was nothing to turn your nose at, but it was hardly the pedigree the people expected from a girl who would become a king’s wife.
Woodville’s beauty was heavily praised in both her time and ours. Historians often cite a quote saying she possessed “heavy-lidded eyes like those of a dragon,” which might say something about medieval beauty standards. Unfortunately, there is no evidence to suggest this quote comes from a contemporary source. Nevertheless, most agreed Woodville was hot stuff.
How does a single mom meet a guy who will treat her like a queen? Before dating apps, there was (according to some legends) standing under an oak tree on the side road and waiting for her future husband King Edward IV to ride by. In this retelling, Woodville used her charms to catch the newly-crowned Edward’s attention and restore her late husband’s lands for her sons.
Woodville’s marriage threw a wrench in Edward IV’s familial alliances. For one, his friendship with Richard Neville, aka the “Kingmaker,” never recovered. Neville was in the midst of contracting a marriage for his ruler, and Edward took his sweet time in telling Neville he had eloped with Woodville. The Kingmaker would forever hold a grudge against both his liege and Woodville herself, and in 1470 he briefly overthrew Edward, causing him to flee England.
There was one big problem with Edward’s desertion: Woodville was heavily pregnant with their child and had to stay behind. While hiding in Westminster Abbey, Elizabeth gave birth to her first royal prince, the future Edward V. It was hardly a royal birthing room, but it would have to do.
A reinstated King Edward IV died of ambiguous circumstances in April 1483, which left Elizabeth Woodville a widow and single mom to their children. But more tragedy was around the corner, and Woodville will now always live in the shadow of her elder sons’ uncertain fate.
When King Edward first died, Elizabeth’s sons Edward V and Richard were taken into custody in preparation for the young Edward’s coronation. Unfortunately, the festivities would be postponed indefinitely, as Richard III seized the vulnerable throne. After the summer of 1483, there would be no more sightings of Woodville’s sons, and the lost boys are now known to history as the tragic “Princes in the Tower.”
Lady Margaret Beaufort is the stuff of historical novelist dreams. As a child during the Wars of the Roses, she gave birth to a child herself: Henry VII, who would begin the all-new Tudor Dynasty. Over the next five decades, Margaret proved to be her son’s best advocate and a political powerbroker in her own right. From her perilous childhood to her adult courtly schemes, there was often little difference between her life and an episode of Game of Thrones .
At the time of Margaret’s marriage to Edmund Tudor on November 1, 1455, she was only 12 years old; the groom was twice her age at 24. Just one year into the marriage, Margaret Beaufort became a widow after Edmund died of the plague. Not a good way to go—but even worse, the 13-year-old Margaret was very pregnant with their child, the future King Henry VII.
Margaret’s labor was intensely dangerous, as she was very young and very small. By sheer luck, both she and her child survived, but although she had many marriages after this, she never went through the ordeal of birth again.
As she was never a “Queen” herself, Margaret Beaufort could not be titled a “Queen Mother.” Instead, when he became King, Henry VII gave his mom the specially-made title of “My Lady the King’s Mother.” Say that three times fast.
Margaret wore clothes of the same quality as her son’s wife, Queen Elizabeth of York. Likewise, Margaret walked only a half-pace behind Elizabeth. Before you go “So what?” remember that Margaret technically ranked below Elizabeth in her son’s court, having never been a queen herself. From anyone else, such conduct would have been flagrantly rude. Margaret Beaufort, of course, was not “anyone else.”
The last family events that Margaret witnessed in her eventful life were the wedding of her grandson Henry VIII to Catherine of Aragon, and the couple’s joint coronation. In fact, she died just one day after Henry VIII’s 18th birthday—almost as if she were waiting for the last Tudor male to be a majority-age king in his own right before she retired forever. You see, Margaret Beaufort did not leave loose ends.
As we all know now, Henry VIII was consumed by his desire to father a son—something that proved famously difficult for him. Catherine of Aragon bore Henry six children, including two sons, but all but one of those children—the future Queen Mary—died in infancy. Henry and Catherine’s inability to produce offspring caused major problems in their marriage, and Henry eventually divorced Catherine, leaving her for Anne Boleyn.
It’s widely known that before he married Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII carried out a long affair with Anne’s sister, Mary. Less famously—though more luridly—Henry was said to have also slept with Anne’s mother, Elizabeth.
Anne Boleyn showed disdain for her predecessor, Catherine of Aragon. She refused to attend Catherine’s funeral, prevented Catherine’s daughter Mary from attending, and spent the day parading around the castle in bright yellow. Rumors spread that Anne had threatened to murder Catherine and Mary, and Catherine’s death led many to suggest that Anne had finally made good on her promise.
No fewer than seven men were accused of carrying out affairs with Anne Boleyn, among them the poet Sir Thomas Wyatt, Henry’s friend Henry Norris, and Anne’s own brother, George. Virtually all denied the allegations but confessed under torture. Those coerced confessions were enough to have Anne condemned to death for adultery, treason, and incest.
Modern historians agree that the charges brought against Anne Boleyn that led to her execution were false and unconvincing, and that Henry had her killed just because she, like his previous wife Catherine of Aragon, didn’t happen to have any male children.
The day after Anne Boleyn’s beheading, Henry got engaged to Jane Seymour, Anne Boleyn’s lady-in-waiting. While she was publicly proclaimed queen, her coronation never went ahead due to an outbreak of plague.
Jane was not only Anne Boleyn’s lady-in-waiting, she was also Anne’s second cousin. The two women had been close friends at Henry’s court until Anne noticed the necklace Jane wore. It featured a small portrait of Jane’s lover—Henry VIII. Anne angrily snatched the necklace from Jane’s hand, leading to what modern witnesses would probably describe as a “catfight.”
In 1537, to Henry’s great relief, Jane became pregnant with a son. Sadly, Seymour died of complications shortly after giving birth to the future Edward VI. She remained the only one of Henry’s wives to be given a royal burial, and Henry was buried beside her upon his death in 1547.
But the question now remains: was Jane the one, or was it the son? During her difficult and ultimately fatal labor, doctors came to Henry and asked him if they should cut Jane open to save the child. Henry’s response was, “Save the life of the child, for another wife can easily be found.” Ouch.
Ever been on a Tinder date with someone who looks nothing like their profile pic? Henry VIII feels your pain. He saw a commissioned portrait of Anne of Cleves and was smitten. He didn’t meet her face-to-face until after the marriage had been arranged, and later complained to a friend, “She is nothing so fair as she hath been reported.” As we’ll find out, that may not have been the whole story…
Henry’s marriage to Anne was quickly annulled—a process made much easier by Anne’s claim that the marriage was never consummated. Whether that was true or not, Henry gave Anne two houses and an allowance for her cooperation, and she would go on to live the longest of any of Henry’s wives.
After Anne of Cleves comes Catherine Howard. A cousin of Anne Boleyn, Catherine Howard was married to Henry VIII little more than a year before her death. Like her cousin before her, Catherine Howard was sentenced to death and beheaded for her alleged affair with a man named Thomas Culpeper.
Twice-widowed Catherine Parr married Henry VIII on July 12, 1543. Though she survived him, few people know that she almost lost her life as well. Henry once suspected her of radical religious beliefs, and even had a warrant for her arrest. But Catherine was lucky; somehow, the warrant managed to fall conveniently outside her door, perhaps planted by an ally. With this precious information, she was able to confront Henry and sweet-talk him into calling her trial (and almost certain execution) off.
Although she only reigned for five years, Henry VIII’s daughter “Bloody Mary” was a busy Queen. As she attempted to reverse Protestant reforms, Mary had over 280 dissenters of the Catholic Church burned at the stake, earning her the terrifying nickname by which we know her.
In the summer of 1554, the English court was bracing for news of Mary’s first child. Mary started to show signs of a pregnancy months earlier, and everyone was taking precautions for the next heir to the throne. Her husband King Philip was possibly even planning to marry Mary’s half-sister Elizabeth in the event that his wife died in childbirth (he was a real stand-up guy). There was just one problem…
Mary wasn’t actually pregnant at all. Perhaps for psychological reasons, she had a rare case of false pregnancy. Tragically, it would not even be her last. During one them, Mary was so convinced that she was with child that she had letters drafted announcing the birth of her heir. They would never be needed.
Mary died, childless, in 1558 during an influenza epidemic. However, the reasons for Mary’s death are not totally clear. Some accounts suggest she succumbed to the influenza outbreak, while others suggest she died of cancer, and that her false pregnancies were actually the result of a tumor.
Mary has become somewhat overshadowed in history by the reign of her sister Elizabeth I, who took over the throne when Mary died. So much so that James I, who was Elizabeth’s successor, actually placed Elizabeth’s coffin on top of Mary’s in Westminster Abbey. He then erected a large monument in praise of Elizabeth’s reign, and it only had a small inscription to Mary. That’s just cold.
Once Mary died, her widower Philip started trying to marry her sister Elizabeth, just as he had planned when he worried Mary might die in childbirth. Elizabeth was having none of it, however, and rejected the proposal.
Despite her long rein and eligibility, Elizabeth I never married. She entertained many suitors, including many foreign royals and other high ranking men in court, but, to her council’s despair, she refused to wed and never named an heir. According to her, she was married to England—and this wise move was probably what kept her in power for so long.
Elizabeth I was careful to present her best self. This meant wearing heavy makeup made of lead and vinegar, which probably did more damage to her smallpox-scarred skin than it helped it. An older Elizabeth I, sensitive about her looks, once felt intruded upon when a courtier entered her chambers before she had been made up for the day. As punishment, she put him under house arrest.
Despite her focus on beauty, dental standards at the time meant that as she grew older, Elizabeth I lost many teeth. To counteract the resulting sunken cheeks, she was said to stuff them with cloth when in public.
Mary, Queen of Scots is most notorious for plotting against her cousin Queen Elizabeth I to steal the throne, which ended up resulting in her execution in 1587 at age 44. Interestingly, during their long and tumultuous relationship, Elizabeth I and Mary never actually met in person.
In 1543, the English King Henry VIII started plotting to marry his heir to Mary, but when Scotland refused, he took other, darker measures. He began attacking Scotland in what became known as the “rough wooing” to get the Scottish crown to submit to the union. However, Mary’s mother was no fool, and she sent her daughter to be educated in France and primed for marriage to the French Crown Prince, Francis, instead.
In 1559, Francis and Mary became the King and Queen of France. Their reign didn’t last long, however. Francis was always sickly, and less than two years after he took the throne, he collapsed from a temporary stoppage of oxygen to the brain and died a few weeks later, apparently from an ear condition.
Mary’s second marriage was one of her choosing, but that still didn’t leave her free to pick just anyone. She strategically chose her handsome cousin Henry Stuart, Lord Darnley, who had the right background and a genuine clai
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