Destroyed Vagina

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Destroyed Vagina
These 4 Words Can Keep You Out of Surgery (Also, Better Sex!) It’s Not Just Kegels… Get 4 Words Now
Your resource for prolapse, incontinence, sexual wellness, kegel exercises, and pelvic health — created just for women by a registered nurse
by Alyce Adams , RN BSN October 22, 2015 Leave a Comment
How can this be such a huge secret?
Millions of women suffer with vaginal prolapse: up to half of all women over 50 years old. One in five U.S. women will have dangerous surgery to treat this condition. (One in five! This could be you, or someone you love, if you don’t take action to avoid it.) In spite of these enormous numbers of women affected, most women have never heard about prolapse, or how to prevent it, until they themselves become victims. And once prolapse strikes, women don’t get the information they need to care for prolapse safely .
Vaginal prolapse means that part of your body that doesn’t belong in your vagina is bulging or sagging into (or in severe cases, bulging out from) your vagina.
My heart breaks when I talk with women who are suffering with devastating prolapse , or complications of pelvic surgery (such as constant pain that goes on for years), and they say…
“If only I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently!”
Today’s post is my attempt to help you, dear reader, to avoid that regret so you and your vagina can live happily ever after, without the needless pain and suffering so many women endure.
Vagina Mistake #1: Prolapse Repair Surgery
Some women get lucky and have satisfactory results. But this surgery fails up to 50 percent of the time. And up to one in six women have complications, some of which can lead to a lifetime of pain. Here’s the ultimate irony: even if your surgery works, all pelvic surgery increases your risk for prolapse. You may actually be at greater risk because you’ve had surgery, and you can develop a new prolapse after you’ve had surgery for prolapse of a different organ. This info can help you avoid prolapse surgery.
Vagina Mistake #2: Unnecessary Hysterectomy
Doctors often say to women, “You’re done having babies. What do you need your uterus for?” Answer: besides the fact that you might like to keep your body parts just because you happen to like your body parts, you need your uterus to help keep everything else in your pelvis where it belongs. Hysterectomy puts you at risk for bladder prolapse (the bladder bulges into, and sometimes hangs out of, the vagina) and vaginal vault prolapse (the top part of the vagina itself falls down into, or out of, the vagina). If your doctor recommends a hysterectomy because you have a non-life-threatening condition such as prolapse or fibroids, get informed about alternatives to surgery.
Sit-ups? Hurting your vagina? Absolutely. Not just sit-ups or crunches, but many core training moves, as well as high-impact exercises (yes, that includes your trampoline or rebounder), can lead to prolapse. I can’t quote a research study on this one, only the words of many very unhappy women who later joined the Kegel Queen Program to help with prolapse after “something went wrong down there when I started going to the gym.”
Constipation is more than just discomfort and inconvenience. Pushing hard on the toilet can literally pop a prolapse out. Get 2 new & natural constipation cures…
Vagina Mistake #5: Standard Birth Practices
Many common childbirth practices can lead to damage of the pelvic floor. (The pelvic floor is the bowl of muscle that helps your pelvic organs stay in place). Epidural, episiotomy, pushing and breathing when others tell you to instead of as your body directs you, pushing as soon as you’re fully dilated instead of waiting for the urge to push… all these can lead to pelvic floor damage that increases your risk for prolapse. And all are usually avoidable, if you choose a midwife or doctor who uses those strategies only as a last resort. (Tip: ask what percent of patients have certain procedures. It’s the only way to know what your odds are with that midwife or doctor. Answers like “only when necessary” don’t tell you anything — insist on a number. )
Vagina Mistake #6: Not Knowing You Have Prolapse
If you have mild prolapse, you might not realize that you have it. Amazingly, many health care providers don’t mention this to patients when they find a mild prolapse during a vaginal exam . If you know you have a mild prolapse, you can take steps to heal your prolapse, or at least to prevent it from getting worse. The next time you have a vaginal exam, ask, “Do you see any signs of prolapse?” If the provider wants to know why you’re asking, just say you know it’s very common and you’re curious.
Kegel exercises can actually relieve symptoms and even reverse prolapse , when you do them correctly. But many women (and doctors) think kegel exercises don’t work — because over 99 percent of women are doing kegels wrong. Find out how to do one perfect kegel, the first step to doing kegels right.
Alyce is known as the most sought-after kegel exercise expert around the world, helping women avoid dangerous surgery and regain health and control of their body down there. She is famous for creating the Kegel Success in Minutes a Day Program, the only complete, no-devices, safe-at-home kegel exercise program created and tested by a Registered Nurse.
The Kegel Queen busts the kegel myths that hold women back — even if they've learned from a doctor, physical therapist, or childbirth teacher. With Real Kegels That Really Work™, women reverse pelvic prolapse, stop urinary incontinence, and have the most amazing sex of their lives — with no annoying and inconvenient kegel devices, no drugs, and no ineffective and dangerous surgery. The Kegel Queen Program has reached over 1,382 women in 19 countries around the world.
Find out how to do one perfect kegel, and get started today!
You'll find out how to do one perfect kegel, the first step to doing kegels right. Get started today!
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“I’ve been doing the Kegel Queen’s program for only two weeks, and I’m already having better sex.”
“I’m no longer considering surgery.”
“I am so glad I didn’t do the hysterectomy and bladder lift… You really gave me back my life and my freedom.”
“I was so excited and relieved to find a solution that I cried when your information came in the mail.”
“Your program definitely worked for me. I never really understood Kegels before this…”
Different women get different results. Some names have been changed to protect privacy.
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Giving Birth Ruined My Vagina, So I Got a New One
It was at my six-weeks-postpartum appointment that someone in the birth world finally admitted what we all fear to be true: vaginal birth can ruin your vagina, even might ruin it—and, in my case, did. The doc inserted the type of speculum she’d always used on me in the past, then took it back out, turned to the nurse, and said, “The other one.”
“Other what?” I squeaked out, the fluorescent lights suddenly casting an accusatory glow on my splayed legs.
“Oh, I just need the other speculum. Childbirth… changes things.”
Here are all the other ways I’d noticed a change. At the gym, I couldn’t tell if I was doing crunches right because I’d lost the mind-body connection between my brain and pelvis. During sex, I’d try to tighten up around the penis (one of my specialties prior to baby) and didn’t feel like I was accomplishing anything. I’d stick a finger up there and it felt okay from the finger’s perspective but like nothing from the vagina’s. Sometimes, when I’d laugh or cough or pick my baby up too fast, a little bit of pee would spill out. The last straw came when I peed my pants at Coachella this year, unable to make the trek to port-a-pottys across a mile-wide field after a few glasses of white wine. I remember thinking, “I’m only 37, for fuck’s sake. I can’t live like this.”
So I did what any of us would do: called Brandi Glanville’s vagina repair dude. Brandi—star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills , ex-wife of LeAnn Rimes’ husband—talks about the miracle Dr. Matlock performed on her pussy in her bestselling memoir, Drinking & Tweeting . She took now-infamous revenge on her cheating ex, Eddie Cibrian, by charging the procedure to his credit card. “A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina.... I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one.” Go Brandi. Get it girl.
Dr. Matlock is an OB/GYN who pioneered the procedure in the late ‘90s. You may remember him from early episodes of E!’s Dr. 90210 —he’s the doc who operated on his own wife. Matlock initially developed what is now called Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation to cure urinary stress incontinence, but a happy side effect was that it tightens up the muscles and “restores youth” to your hoo-ha. This video, now 10 years old, is a good primer on the surgery:
I’m lucky enough to live in Los Angeles where he is based, so heading to his Beverly Hills office for a consultation was easy.
Here’s the scene in the waiting room: there are two beige—BEIGE—leather—LEATHER—couches for seating, and framed press clippings cover the walls. Brandi’s book is propped up on the window sill, pertinent pages marked with Post-Its. The first two times I visited, the only other women waiting were in hijabs. One had who I assumed to be her sister and either a brother or brother-in-law with her; both women were draped in black while the dude wore a polo shirt and jeans and talked on the phone the whole time. I overheard the nurse chatting with all three of them about re-hymenization, an even newer procedure that’s being used to re-virginize religious women in order to turn them back into marriage material . As the patient was filling out forms, she came to one that asks if she would allow the doctor to use photos of her procedure for educational purposes. She showed it to her male chaperone and he said “No, absolutely not,” so she didn’t sign it. I got a little sad at this whole scene, but my mood was about to change drastically.
Let me just say that I wish Dr. Matlock were my regular gyno. He had the best bedside manner of anyone who’s ever used a speculum on me: soft-spoken, he gave plenty of warnings before he touched me about where his hands were going and what temperature they would be. He was also surprisingly… light? I don’t know about you, but the majority of my gynecologists have been more on the “brooding” end of the spectrum. We chatted a bit about which procedure I wanted—he does vaginal rejuvenation, labiaplasty, rehymenization, etc. I said I like the look of my shit so don’t mess it up, but that I’d lost feeling and control.
“You’ve had a child, correct?” he asked. “Around 30 percent of women who’ve given birth vaginally have these exact same issues, and we’re going to fix it, okay? It’s going to be better, I promise you.” I was not expecting such a confident diagnosis that quickly. Perhaps, I had feared, my vagina was the only unfixable one on earth. Or perhaps I didn’t injure it during childbirth but instead I had a rare case of vaginal atrophy (a disease I hope I’m making up but I don’t want to Google it to check). But Dr. Matlock was sure he could help and that I’d have a great outcome—boo ya. I only had two decisions to make, said the doc: what kind of anesthesia we’d use, and how tight I wanted to be in the end. (!)
“We can make it like it was just before the baby, go back to 20, 18 or 16. Up to you.”
I chose 18, with a definite uptick in my voice that left other possibilities open. He said he’d take a look and help me decide.
Dr. Matlock did this nice temperature test on my inner thigh with the gel; said things like, “I’m going to touch you here [touches my knee], I’m going to touch you here [lightly taps my thigh], and now I’m going to touch you here [taps my vaginal opening before inserting the speculum].”
It was actually delightful. When he was done, he told me I could sit up, took his gloves off, and said, “Let’s go 16.”
The worst part about how bad childbirth fucked up my vagina was the fact that, to begin with, I hadn’t even necessarily wanted to give birth that way.
The reason I did was this: Five weeks into my pregnancy, I’d gotten a bad pap smear result. Not only did I still have all the HPVs humanly possible, but now something called atypical glandular cells showed up. My doctor called and said she couldn’t tell me what they meant—could be all sorts of cancers or nothing at all, further tests would determine that—but that we could wait 35 weeks until the baby was born to move forward on it.
Apparently, she added, the kind of biopsies I’d have needed couldn’t be performed on a pregnant person, but the kind of cancers I could have were typically slow-growing. (I still can’t believe no one suggested I abort the pregnancy and get that shit taken care of, but that is for another essay.) She presented me with two options: One, if I did end up having some horrible cervical cancer and wanted to have another baby after this one, they could always remove the cancer, implant an embryo in my uterus and sew me shut behind it, a procedure called cervical cerclage. I said, “Nah, I’m cool.” And two, if I could manage to have a vaginal birth, it’s possible I could push all the bad cells out with the baby. Seriously. You shed a lot of tissue giving birth and there was a chance I could flush out whatever was wrong. Challenge accepted.
So I watched The Business of Being Born , I read all the Ina May Gaskin natural childbirth books I could get my hands on. I went to the hippie-dippiest birthing class I could find in Los Angeles. Natural childbirth advocates all tell you generally the same thing, which I’ll sum up here while leaving out all the important scientific info that backs up their claims: if you get an epidural or pitocin (a drug that induces contractions), your chances of having a C-section go through the roof. I did not want a C-section, because I wanted to flush out this possible-cancer by pushing my child through my birth canal, remember?
So I went hard in the natural childbirth paint.
Having a doula has shown to decrease the likelihood of getting an epidural, so I got one of those. (Sort of. She was barely certified, but that’s who I could afford.) Eating seven dates a day increases the chances of going into labor on your own, thus avoiding the pitocin trap, so I got way into dates. Getting acupuncture in the final weeks of pregnancy is also shown to support a natural birth, though when I asked my acupuncturist if I had to believe in acupuncture for it to work, she said, “It helps if you believe.” The repurposed back room of a dance studio on the top floor of a barren strip mall, it turns out, was not the place for me to have a spiritual conversion. Oh well.
Still, when I went into labor at 2 A.M. the night after my due date, I felt pretty positive, like I’d done a good job so far. Then shit got real.
I did all the hippie crap all day—bounced on a yoga ball, had a glass of wine and a bath, labored in the tub, got massaged by my doula, tried to get orgasmic with my partner—and by about 8 P.M. I’d had enough. The contractions were 3-1-1—three minutes apart, one minute long, for one hour—so it was time to head to the hospital. Except when I got there and they examined me, they said I was only 4cm dilated and 70 percent effaced. I almost punched someone, but let out a wail instead. The midwives I’d chosen to see instead of an OB/GYN because of that whole trying to rid my vagina of cancer thing told me I could go home or “lean into the pain” if I wanted to make progress. Maybe I said “LOL, FUCK YOU!” or maybe I just thought it? But I was trapped so I decided to try the leaning in.
For four hours I leaned in as far as I could. Walked the halls, danced in the shower, screamed at everything. And that’s when we all kind of noticed something was awry. I was not getting any relief between contractions; I was in constant, excruciating pain. They said I was experiencing “back labor” and that my baby was in the wrong position. The phrase that kept coming to mind to describe the agony was “I’m shattering.” At one point I wondered to myself, “We’re on the fifth floor. Is that high enough to kill me and the baby or just maim me and kill the baby or just kill me and maim the baby?” That’s when I asked for a progress report. And that’s when Polly, my midwife, told me I’d made no progress since arriving at the hospital. And that’s when I asked for the epidural, 24 hours in.
Seven hours later they manually broke my water. One hour after that I began to push. Three and a half hours later, my daughter finally got in the right position and came tearing through my body. Literally. I tore in three places, requiring over 30 stitches. Pushing that hard for that long apparently wrecks you. Shit got really, really fucked up.
The worst part was: it didn’t even work! I still had to have a LEEP procedure to rid me of the HPV six weeks after giving birth. (I’ve since gotten my first clean pap in five years, WOO HAH !)
The vaginal rejuvenation procedure itself only takes one hour. As I understand it, they go in and open up all four walls of your vagina using a laser. They trim off some excess tissue and then stitch your muscles up tight and close you back up. I chose general anesthesia, but some people do this under local, which sounded crazy to me—although, so did going under risky general anesthesia in order to have a tighter pussy. I agonized over that part: was I going to Donda myself for this? Well, yes. I like peeing on toilets and having good sex, so, yes. If my daughter grew up without a mother because I flatlined on the operating table, at least she’d know I had my priorities straight.
The day of surgery was pretty chill. My anesthesiologist chatted about the line at Starbucks while he injected me with that first woozy shot. I got pretty high. Then a nurse came in and covered me with a blanket that had hot air running through it. I loved it. Then Dr. Matlock came in and shook my hand and we rolled out to the operating room. I woke up a few hours later still super stoned and I don’t remember much of that first day.
The recovery sucked, though. I had a catheter—that’s right, a tube up my pee hole and a bag strapped to my leg—for five days. It was kind of cool, not thinking about peeing for a week; I just had to remember to empty the bag, which was a little troublesome since I couldn’t feel when I peed, so I had no idea if it was full unless I looked. I was also on Valium and Percocet, making the world very fuzzy (which was awesome). All in all, it was a week before I was really up and around. I couldn’t pick up my toddler, but that was a nice break. She was very sweet about the whole thing, checking on me regularly and bringing me supplies. Brandi said the recovery was worse than childbirth. Dr. Matlock explained that the baby distracts you from the pain so this can seem worse. I disagree with both of them: this was way
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