Describe An Orgasm
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Describe An Orgasm
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"It's like the burst you feel when you get a text from your crush... but in your vagina."
If you took sex-ed at school, you probably learned all about pregnancy, STIs , and safe sex practices . While all of that is super important, there's a pretty good chance that your teacher never once uttered the word "orgasm" throughout the semester. Which, is pretty weird, considering it's a natural biological function, and sexual pleasure is a normal, healthy part of life.
Let's actually talk about orgasms for a sec. An orgasm is what happens when a person reaches the height of sexual excitement, which comes with feelings of pleasure and muscle contractions in the genitals. For men, this moment also means ejaculating — but let’s talk about the other, awesome kind of orgasm: the vaginal kind.
Since sex-ed teachers aren't discussing it, I talked to Dr. Melisa Holmes, adolescent gynecologist and cofounder of Girlology to answer your most pressing questions about the biological reaction so you can feel more comfortable with your body and the sexual pleasure you deserve.
An orgasm is a physical reflex, brought on through sexual stimulation, most commonly that of the clitoris, which is the most sensitive organ in the vagina. "It's a build up to a time frame during sexual stimulation where there's just this big release of pleasure," says Dr. Holmes. During sexual arousal, blood flow increases to the genitals and your muscles tense throughout your body. The orgasm then "reverses this process through a series of rhythmic contractions," according to Brown University. During an orgasm, "endorphins are released into the bloodstream and these chemicals might make you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy."
Different people are stimulated by different sexual acts, but it really all comes back to the clitoris. Some people may also require the additional sensation of vaginal penetration to orgasm. In general, when you're reaching climax, the clitoris will get engorged and lubricated. "The clitoris may just look like a little bump on the outside, but it actually has a lot more to it on the inside and just the stimulation of that creates this intense kind of burst of pleasurable feelings," says Dr. Holmes.
There are other erogenous zones that feel good when kissed and touched, but they probably won't stimulate an orgasm. "A true orgasm really does require genital stimulation and most medical providers will tell you it stems from the clitoris," Dr. Holmes says.
There's nothing wrong with experimenting and figuring out what allows you to reach sexual climax. It could be oral stimulation of the clitoris, rubbing on the inner thigh, or a mix of multiple things. "The best way to learn, if you're curious, is to teach yourself, give yourself an orgasm," Dr. Holmes says. "Don't rely on other people. I think that's really important to understand that they can make themselves have an orgasm probably better than anyone else can. And they don't need a partner to do that."
An orgasm feels different for everyone, but there are some common experiences like heavy breathing, body vibrations, and sweating. Orgasms can be mild or overwhelming, they range from person to person and time to time. We asked some real girls what orgasms feel like and this is what they said:
"It's like the burst you feel when you get a text from your crush... but in your vagina." — Cam, 15
"I would compare orgasms to going out to eat. You wait and wait for your food, very excited for this meal, then the meal gets there and you take your first bite and you're flooded with happiness. Take a food orgasm and times it by 10!" — Evie, 17
"My clit pulses — a lot. It gets super, super sensitive. Also, I can feel my vaginal walls involuntarily clench, too." — Annie, 20
"Having orgasms makes me feel connected to my own body. It was revolutionary to me the first time I had one. I've had this body my whole life and was missing out on something so big." — Alexis, 17
"Uncontrollable, amazing tingling sensation all over the body." — Kendra, 18
"Like I have no control over my body whatsoever with a ticklish sensation... in the most sexy way possible." — Taylor, 22
As you can see, it feels a little different for everyone, but the common denominator is it feels good.
According to Brown University, one in three people have trouble orgasming from sex with their partner. Since some need clitoral stimulation to climax, simple penetrative sex might not get you there.
When you first start exploring your sexuality, it can take a little bit of time to discover what makes you climax.
Masturbation is the easiest way to explore what will allow you to reach sexual stimulation. Different rhythms, sensations, and pleasures affect people differently. If you're exploring with a partner, there's nothing wrong with asking them to focus on a specific area or action.
There are also external factors, like stress, that may affect your ability to orgasm. "A lot of an orgasm also stems from our brain," Dr. Holmes says. "We have to feel comfortable and safe to have good sexual function." Using drugs and alcohol can also affect one’s ability to climax.
"Everyone thinks alcohol makes sex better," Dr. Holmes says. "And a tiny little bit of alcohol might enhance your sexual experience because it decreases your inhibitions, but too much alcohol can absolutely prevent orgasm. If you're drunk, you may not even notice the stimulation as much, you're a little more numb." Prescription drugs can have a similar affect. "Especially the SSRIs that are used for depression and anxiety. Those are the most common drugs that prevent or inhibit orgasm," Dr. Holmes says.
This is a complicated question because, no, technically you don't have to orgasm during sex. Vaginal penetration or stimulation can still feel good without reaching sexual climax. And biologically-speaking, even if you're trying to have a baby, a vaginal orgasm isn't necessary (of course, the penis must ejaculate because sperm is needed to fertilize the egg). That being said, there may be a biological reason why we have vaginal orgasms: so that we want to have sex again. "It makes sense that sex feels good so that you are willing to have sex," Dr. Holmes says. "So the species can be perpetuated."
So, if you're not orgasming every time with your partner, it's NBD. That being said, if you want to orgasm and you feel like your partner isn't spending the time on you to reach climax, have a conversation about it. If they care about you, they'll put in the extra work to make you feel good.
Carolyn Twersky is an associate editor for Seventeen covering celebrities, entertainment, politics, trends, and health. On her off time, she's probably watching Ru Paul's Drag Race, traversing NYC for the best donuts, or, most likely, enjoying time in her favorite place in the world: her bed.
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If you ask 17 women "What does an orgasm feel like?" you'll get 17 slightly different answers. Just like every body is different, every orgasm is different, but they all have one thing in common: They feel good. Whether from partnered sex or masturbation, there are few things that hit the spot as much as achieving orgasm .
"The brain and central nervous system are responsible for sexual responses like orgasm,” says Heather Corinna, author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College and founder of sex education site Scarleteen . “During sexual pleasure, all the nerve endings of your body (including your genitals, all linked to your nervous system) are in concert and communication with your brain, and vice-versa.”
The way orgasms feel varies from person to person. Here, we asked 17 women what an orgasm feels like and here's what they had to say.
“Screaming for joy. Feeling everything and nothing at the same time.”
“Like tangling up a bunch of Christmas lights inside you and then blowing a fuse.”
“The stars emoji mixed with the explosion emoji.”
“I think the best thing about an orgasm is that you can't really be thinking about anything else besides your own pleasure. It's all-consuming and euphoric.”
“In romantic terms: Uninhibited release of control, of self-consciousness, of everything.”
“If you were to ask me to physically describe the feeling: It's like a really wonderful and powerful sneeze in your vagina. The kind of sneeze that you can sense building up for a while, and then it happens and is just the most satisfying sneeze and you hope you have to sneeze again.”
“You know when Sailor Moon floats up into the air as a beam of light shines through her body and she transforms into a superhero? That.”
“The feeling is the same level of happiness as when you're sprawled out on a lounge chair on a tropical beach, and unironically order a [non-alcoholic] strawberry daiquiri because you are unstoppable.”
“An orgasm feels like electric dominoes are falling down in different directions under your skin.”
“It's a buildup of tension that arches your back and curls your toes, almost like a clenching feeling. And just when you think you can't take it anymore, suddenly all that tension is released and pulses throughout your body. It's the best relief.”
“Like a real moment in the day that's just for you (and maybe your partner too, if you have one). It doesn't work if you're distracted, at least not for me.”
“When it's really good it's like an out-of-body experience, like I can feel my clitoris on a roller-coaster ride but my soul and mind are on a whole other level of connection with myself or the person I'm with and it takes over my body. Usually it leaves my whole body shaking and I can't stand up for a few minutes.”
“It's similar to your body falling off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy. It's a sense of sensual release that you find yourself having no control over and letting yourself go because it's just too damn good. An earth-shattering female orgasm is one of a kind.”
“Like a hard candy and you suck on it and then all of a sudden you get to the center and it's the burst of flavor.”
“The relief of walking up the stairs to your fifth-floor walk-up into your air-conditioned apartment.”
“Like melting chocolate in the microwave.”
“Remember the first time you tried an avocado or ate avocado toast? That feeling of bliss and taste of deliciousness? That's what an orgasm feels like.”
Studies suggest that orgasms can actually benefit your health. Orgasms trigger the release of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin , which, in addition to making you feel amazing, have also been shown to lower blood pressure . Women who masturbate to orgasm also report having higher self-esteem than women who don't, leading to better overall mental health. Orgasms have even been shown to have positive effects on the gut health , improving digestion, decreasing bloating and ameliorating the negative effects of anxiety and depression.
Over half of American adults say they masturbate one to four times a week, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior , making it an easy and popular way to reap the health benefits of regular orgasm. Another huge benefit? Better sleep.
“For people having difficulty sleeping, it helps them sleep,” said Dr. Jennifer Berman , urologist and sexual health expert. “It can help to limit stress and tension. It can help to relieve pain in the body. It can even relieve menstrual cramps."
The best thing about getting to know your body and your sexuality is that you don’t need a partner to reap the benefits of orgasms.
Shailene Woodley said it best when she talked about the importance of young women learning about masturbation. “As a young woman you don’t learn how to pleasure yourself, you don’t learn what an orgasm should be, you don’t learn that you should have feelings of satisfaction. I’ve always had a dream of making a book called There’s No Right Way to Masturbate ," she said .
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The female orgasm is generally regarded as a magical, mysterious thing. It’s tricky to attain. It’s the best feeling on earth. It relies on all kinds of intriguing bits like the G spot and the clitoris.
But what does it actually feel like?
As you might expect, it’s different for different people. But the overall sense is that it’s rather nice.
We asked a bunch of women to describe what exactly an orgasm feels like for them. Here are their answers – some names have been changed as not everyone wants to publicly talk about cumming.
‘An orgasm feels a bit like the nice scratchy tickling feeling when someone strokes the inside of your arm, only way more intense.
‘It tends to build from moderate to really intense, and when you actually come it’s like a powerful rush which slowly subsides.
‘The sensation is closest to getting a really great massage, but with a sharper sensation.’
‘You just forget about everything shite for a moment, and the physical and mental kind of merge and it’s all good. It’s like a wave through your whole body that makes you lowkey high and completely glowy.
‘Basically if you’re wondering if you came you definitely didn’t because you could never mistake the feeling.’
‘I would say what I have felt is akin to finally scratching the itchiest itch.’
‘I think it feels like a massive release, and a way to be out of your own body for about ten seconds (I don’t know if that’s how long they last, it’s probably less than that, right?).
‘I don’t think it feels in any way like a sneeze, BUT the build up and release is similar but much much more satisfying.’
‘It feels like an all-encompassing avalanche.’
‘The best way to describe it is like a very intense, pleasurable sneeze. It’s like a release but because you’re not technically ‘releasing’ anything so it’s hard to explain.
‘On top of that you get a really warm fuzzy feeling throughout your body. A bit like after you have the first few sips of a really good gin and tonic.
‘If it’s a really good one your body kind of shudders and your clit kind of pulses and your cheeks feel hot.’
‘If it’s really intense I hysterically laugh after as the emotions all pour out of me. Or my eyes squeeze shut because I feel like I am going to cry and I can’t open them for a few mins.’
‘Well the feeling after is like when someone jumps out to scare you but then you realise it’s a joke and you feel satisfied that you’re safe. Like a deliciously tingly warm wave.
‘The actual orgasm is like an explosion.’
‘Like that loggers leap at Thorpe Park – Up up up intense intense and then boooooom splash a rush.’
‘Bottom of feet tingle and burn when I am about to release, that’s a constant thing but a lot of orgasms are different depending of how much build up there was or how into it you are feeling etc.’
‘I can feel downstairs squeezing tighter and tighter and tighter and then there’s a sudden burst and a rush through my entire body. it’s like a release, I tingle all over and there’s a pulsing as I orgasm.’
‘The climax feels like when you’re on the descent of a roller coaster, there’s a heartbeat in your groin and then suddenly you orgasm and it’s like jumping head first into a pool of pleasure.’
‘My spine tingles and I feel a massive euphoric feeling over my whole body and sometimes my vision goes blurred.’
‘It starts in my legs and moves up, my heads starts throbbing everything is pulsing I feel like might burst and I’m always a little scared.’
‘It just feels really warm, if that makes sense. Like, the warmth when you tuck yourself into a blanket – just really warm and comforting all over my body.’
‘It’s a release. It’s like you’ve got really tense without noticing, then you hit a threshold and all the tension floods out.’
‘At their best it is absolute euphoria where your entire body is in sync. A warm and intense pressure that builds and builds. If it’s at this level it is the best feeling in the world.’
‘What I imagine the physical embodiment of euphoria would be like.’
‘My description of an orgasm is that it feels like a warm sensation crawling all over your body.’
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