Deflowering Story
🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Deflowering Story
How to Obtain California State Driver’s License?
Why Your Business Needs A Customized Feather Flags
Advantages of Inexpensive Sex Cam Sites
July 7, 2022
6 Casino Games You Should Master First
July 6, 2022
© 2022 - All Right Reserved.
TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.
I’d never slept with a virgin. On our second date, Jim and I escaped from a hot and overcrowded bar and sat on a bench outside. Fueled by a few pints of Guinness and the urge to confess, Jim admitted to being a 30-year-old virgin . He’d never even had a girlfriend . After a long moment of silence, I asked him, trying to sound as non-intimidating as possible, why that was.
Jim didn’t have a concrete reason. He rattled off details about his life. He was Catholic, but didn’t go to church and definitely wasn’t saving himself. He went to an all-boys high school. He lived at home during college and grad school, though he owned an apartment now. He really didn’t know why. The desire was there; the opportunity just hadn’t presented itself.
I drew my own conclusions. Jim was shy. Awkward and nerdy. I could work with that. I didn’t unload my own virginity until I was 20. I’d had my boyfriends, my one-night stands. But I was no sex goddess .
Jim just needed an understanding woman to nurture and guide him. I was the perfect woman for the job. For once, I could feel in control. I liked the idea of being someone’s first. I wouldn’t have to worry if my body was positioned the right way, or if I was moving and making the appropriate noises to show how much I was enjoying it. I wouldn’t have to feel self-conscious about my white skin , fat rolls and slightly pregnant-looking stomach. There would be none of that with Jim. He’d just be grateful to see a woman naked. I’d deflower him and mold him into the boyfriend of my dreams. He was a blank slate, without bad habits to break.
His bar buddies (“BBs”) were glad he’d finally found someone, looking at our entwined hands with meaningful looks and slapping Jim on the back. One of them told me to “be gentle with him.”
About a month later, the deflowering happened after a late night out drinking . The blessed event unfolded as you’d imagine it would when a not-terribly-confident girl with slightly low self-esteem gives it up to an even less confident guy. He climbed on top of me, looking around like he wasn’t quite sure how he’d got there. Then he pumped up and down furiously before I could have a change of heart. As it wasn’t doing much for me, I watched his face redden and contort as though observing a science experiment .
After Jim finished, I told myself it would get better. I looked to him for his reaction, and asked him what he thought. “It was good,” he said. Then he added “thanks” as an afterthought, and fell asleep on his back.
Shortly after Jim and I did the deed, all of his BBs seemed to know about it. Comments were made to me about making a man of him. Normally, I would have been pissed at being talked about , at Jim kissing and telling about our private business. But I gave Jim a free pass. After all, this was a monumental occasion for him. Already tall and gangly, Jim seemed to suddenly pull himself up from his perpetual slouch. I told him how much I hated public displays of affection, but I still had to push him away over and over as he kept trying to devour my face in the middle of the bar.
Jim had another woman vying for his attention . The bar. He went there daily. When I managed to drag him out on a “real date,” he became restless. I wanted a real boyfriend I could talk to, order in food and cuddle with in front of the TV. The sex continued to play out the same as it had the first time . While I became more confident and aggressive in my teaching methods , hoping he would be excited to learn what made me feel good, Jim was a lazy student, happy to just coast and receive a passing grade. I’d had enough. I broke up with him.
But I wasn’t meeting anyone new. Had I given up too soon? I got lonely, which led to me flirting with Jim one night when I “ran into him” at the bar. Truthfully, I knew he’d be there. When wasn’t he? I was looking for an ego boost wherever I could find it.
One of his BBs approached me. “You shouldn’t lead him on,” he said. I waved him off, telling him I wasn’t. I reasoned that even if I was leading Jim on, I was justified. I was his first . I was supposed to be special . But Jim had acted like most of the other guys I’d known.
“You know, you weren’t even his first,” Jim’s buddy told me suddenly. “He slept with a hooker in the Dominican Republic.”
I didn’t believe him. But when I confronted Jim, he confirmed the story . “You’re lying,” I insisted. I looked at his face and realized he wasn’t. My demands to know why he lied to me were met with silence.
I felt like a beauty queen who’d been stripped of her crown.
What should have been obvious to me from the outset: a 30-year old virgin is likely one for a reason. His slate has writing on it you probably don’t want to read. And if you’re going to date a jerk, you should at least be getting some good sex out of it.
Original by Cristina Fahrbach-Connors
© 2022 - All Right Reserved.
TheFrisky.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.
Part of HuffPost Relationships. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
You thought your first time having sex was bad.
Apr 1, 2019, 05:45 AM EDT | Updated Jun 11, 2019
Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty Images via Getty Images
Subscribe to HuffPost’s relationships email
Wrap Foil Around Doorknobs When Alone, Here's Why
This time they decided to give it a try...
In Race To Face DeSantis, It’s Ms. 'Something New’ Versus Mr. Seventh Time Around
11 Outdoor Games That Will Make Your House The Coolest On The Block
Carry-On Luggage That Meets The FAA's Size Requirements
An Invasive Creature Is Taking Over A Florida Community
Louisiana State Police Chief Left With Warning After Traffic Stop For Speeding
Penn. Rep Tees Off On Colleagues Without Uteruses Telling Women What To Do With Theirs
Doctor Looks To Provide Abortions At Off-Shore Site After Roe Reversal
Activist Group Offers Up To $200 For Public Sightings Of Conservative Supreme Court Justices
Trump Is 'Terrified' His White House Counsel Is Cooperating With Jan. 6 Panel: Mary Trump
Trump Calls On Wis. GOP To Nullify Elector Votes, Make Him Victor After Ballot Box Ruling
Kirsten Dunst Marries Jesse Plemons After 6 Years As A Couple
Political Violence Is The New American Normal
Subscribe to HuffPost’s relationships email
Part of HuffPost Relationships. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost
Your first time having sex is almost always going to be a letdown: You’ll fumble with the condom or underestimate the need for lube. Or maybe your partner will starfish their way through the whole thing ― all 10 seconds of it.
You’re a clean slate, sexually speaking ― anything and everything can go wrong. Below, comedians, entertainers and other funny people on the web share the funniest things that happened during their first time.
“I was 16 years old, had zero knowledge of porn, zero knowledge of sex. I was in my boyfriend’s mom’s basement and we used his mom’s strawberry scented body butter as lube (please for your genital health, do not try this at home). The radio was playing Adam Sandler’s ‘Lunch Lady Land.’ Have you ever tried to have your first non-solo orgasm while listening to the lyrics ‘Sloppy Joe. Slop-Sloppy Joe’? Not good” ― Kyra Kane , the host of the Sex Work BB podcast
“I was in college and determined to lose my virginity so I just grabbed a guy at a party and started making out with him. We went to his dorm, I got my cherry popped, it was fine, mission accomplished. Leaving his dorm the next morning I realized I had no idea what his name was and had to try to find it using the campus directory for that building. He had a roommate so I guessed at which one it was.
I ended up telling my friends I’d banged the wrong guy. I was eventually corrected when I was confronted by the guy’s roommate’s girlfriend who’d heard through the small-liberal-arts-college grapevine that I had sex with her boyfriend. I explained and she and I laughed about it and are still Facebook acquaintances to this day.” ― Allison Mick , a comedian in Oakland, California
“There are classes in school that give straight people a decent idea of how it’s supposed to go but there are some key things that differ from straight sex versus gay sex, especially when preparing yourself for what’s to come. Being the brilliant person that I am, I just chose to eat one light meal at breakfast because I definitely, totally planned to have sex that night.
When we were getting down to it, I was so frustrated because it wasn’t working (mostly due to the lack of lube which NO ONE WARNS YOU ABOUT). Once again, being the brilliant person I am and a former Boy Scout, I knew to think on my feet so spit became the next best option. Despite the hiccups along the way, it was a successful but challenging experience and it has taught me that I can conquer any feat put in front of me.” ― Miss Toto , a drag queen in Miami, Florida
“My older cousin let me use his place and left a pair of Ray-Bans on the coffee table with a note that read ‘take them if you do it, leave them if you don’t.’ Being young and stupid I thought he wanted me to wear them while having sex. I wish I could remember more about that night but I couldn’t see much.” ― Daniel Tirado , a comedian in New York City
“I thought my first time would be romantic. That’s the image I had fantasied over since I found out what a ‘first time’ was. For the most part, it was fun: the basic cute kissing, gentle fingering, PG foreplay. But the grand finale really wasn’t all that grand: After several attempts trying to get it in, his elbow slipped, launching him all the way in and that’s when I heard it ‘pop’. I froze and screamed, ‘DID YOU HEAR THAT, YOU JUST BROKE MY HYMEN!’ It’s fair to say we stopped shortly after that.” ― Georgette Olaiya , host of the Just The Tip podcast
“All I can tell you about my first time was that it was another trashy prom night tale of intrigue, disgust, and getting caught in an RV after vomiting in his lap. It was my senior prom in the middle of nowhere Texas. My boyfriend and I went to prom in a group but left pretty early to sneak away to a pool party. There I consumed my weight in sprite and cheesy puffs. We decided to drive to the campgrounds in his parents’ RV to enter into manhood together.
Things were going great until those cheesy puffs came back up and I threw up in his lap. He went and hosed off. We weren’t ready to call it quits so we continued until all of a sudden a spotlight flashed through the window and we heard the WOOP WOOP of a police car. Over the loudspeaker, we heard, ‘please exit the park.’ We left, showered and had regular, bad-first-time sex later that night, but I haven’t eaten a cheesy puff since.” ― Meatball , a drag queen in Los Angeles, California
″‘Sex and Candy’ by Marcy Playground was on the radio. She laughed but I’m not sure it was from the irony. Now every time I hear that song I think of Skittles and disappointment.” ― Jamie Arrington , a comedian in Hattiesburg, Mississippi
“The night I lost my virginity I had a tampon in but completely forgot about it because we had been drinking. When the much older loser I decided to sleep with tried to put his penis inside me, he said, ‘Wait, do you have a tampon in?’
I laughed in his face because what a crazy thing to ask during my first time. I said ‘Ew, no.’ He tried again and exclaimed, ‘No, I’m pretty sure you have a tampon in’ so I rolled my eyes and said, ‘There’s literally no way ―’ then felt the tampon. I uncorked myself like a bottle of wine (red, obviously) threw it across the room like I had just drawn a sword and hacked it toward my worst enemy. Neither of us came, and we haven’t spoken since.” ― Lili Michelle , a comedian in New York City
“At the end of sophomore year of college, I was hooking up with someone but I was still a virgin. I felt ashamed by my lack of experience, so I decided to keep this little secret to myself. One night, things were heating up and we decided to go all the way. This first time could best be described as ‘fleeting.’ A mere two pumps. Somehow, she caught on to my secret because she immediately asked, ‘Wait a minute, are you a virgin?’ I told her the truth: ‘Not anymore.’” ― Cam Poter , a comedian and co-host of the Sex Talk With My Mom podcast
“I was in China as a teenager, summer between high school and college. My first time was with another tourist, outdoors, at a construction site at night, because neither of us had empty rooms we could use. An hour earlier, I’d bought this whole Martin Scorsese DVD box set for like $7, which, I mean, great deal. Anyway, I was holding onto the Scorsese DVDs for most of the first time, because I didn’t want it to get scratched. Eventually, I set it down, but I kept it close. That’s something you don’t want to lose.” ― Dan Perlman , a comedian in New York City
“I lost my virginity when I was 24 years old (I was an un-fuckable dork for most of my life) to a short, stout, blonde Irish girl named Patty after we met backstage at a U2 concert. We hooked up in her parents’ bedroom because she said, ‘I prefer sex on larger-sized mattresses.’ I had so much horniness built up after all those years, I would’ve said yes to doing it on the N train during morning rush hour on top of a homeless man’s corpse. Location was the least of my concerns...or so I thought. We entered the master bedroom and as she disrobed, I noticed family photos sprinkled about everywhere: Disney vacations, Royal Caribbean and Carnival cruises to the Caribbean, birthday party at Chucky Cheese. Chucky...Goddamn...Cheese.” ― Allan Fuks , comedian and co-host of The Week In Sex and Judges of History
Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost
The Stranger
EverOut
Portland Mercury
Savage Love
Hump
Bold Type Tickets
Slog
Savage Love
Slog AM/PM
News
Weed
Music
Sticker Patrol
Arts
Food & Drink
Top Events Today and This Week
Live Music
•
Arts
•
Food
•
& More!
Masthead
Ad Info & Rates
Jobs at The Stranger
Contact
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
Takedown Policy
All contents © Index Newspapers LLC
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
Extras
Dec 15, 2005 at 4:00 am
Tags:
Extras
Savage Love Extra
Savage Love
The Stranger depends on your continuing support to provide articles like this one. In return, we pledge our ongoing commitment to truthful, progressive journalism and serving our community. So if you’re able, please consider a small recurring contribution. Thank you—you are appreciated!
is a proud member of the
media network
Masthead
Ad Info & Rates
Jobs at The Stranger
Contact
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
Takedown Policy
All contents © Index Newspapers LLC
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
My humiliating loss-of-virginity story is so incredibly unbelievable that it’s virtually an urban legend among my friends. But I swear that each and every word of this is true.
When I was in high school I was awarded the opportunity to go on a foreign exchange to a lovely tropical paradise—ah, Brazil—for senior year. As high-school girls are prone to do, I met a guy, another exchange student. We were the queen and king of virgin teenagers: I never had ANY dates in high school and neither did he. After the first kiss all thoughts went to sex almost immediately. We decided that AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE we were going to lose our virginities to each other.
We first tried at his house. We thought the shower would be a “sexy” place to do it and that the rushing water would also be a nice cover for any strange noises. In this particular tropical country, showerheads are often electric and some fool had made theirs out of metal . I touched the showerhead briefly and was shocked so severely that I fell and spun out across the floor. At that point his host mother barged in, dragged me out of the house by my feet (buck naked, mind you), called me a ”whore,” and kicked me to the curb.
We came up with another brilliant idea: We would borrow something similar to a rowboat from a friend, paddle out onto the local lake, and get the deed done. This boat was something like 20 feet long, about 1 foot deep, and about 4 feet wide, and made of wood. We
Wife Sharing Sex Story
Mother And Son Sex
Caught Using Moms Dildo