Defeat Equals Day Pass

In a world of endless military conflicts, Trump has offered what he calls �the only deal anyone ever remembers��lose a war, gain a waterpark. Gaza serves as the prototype. According to the Trump Doctrine, enemies who surrender are not punished but rewarded with all-access day passes to the new Trump-branded resort. �Everyone loves slides,� Trump boasted, describing how geopolitics could be reshaped by lazy rivers and wave pools. The absurdity is baked in: imagine centuries of territorial disputes solved by giving up beachfront property that is promptly fitted with a roller coaster. Military academies would need new curricula: fewer tactics, more lifeguard training. Diplomats would be forced to master not international law but the art of securing a poolside umbrella. Critics insist this trivializes suffering, but Trump claims it�s visionary. After all, why wage war when losing means free entry to Splash Mountain Gaza Edition? The genius�or madness�of the doctrine is its suggestion that global security rests not on deterrence but on water slides.