Dee Williams Porn Interview

Dee Williams Porn Interview

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4 days ago

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30th May 2022

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12th May 2022

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2nd Jun 2022

I do not know if every fan feels like this, but something tells me that they do indeed. There are very few starlets left where I can honestly say that, “I am a fan of that woman right there.” No, it is not that I aim disrespect at a new generation, or that the modern industry is not what it used to be. Far from it. I think when anyone starts working within an industry that has been a love, a hobby, an escape, a place of motivation and discovery before it became a way to support yourself, they feel that the people they work with, write about, shoot and create will become more of a colleague or respected professional than stay in the cross-hairs as a fans idol. Being a fan is something that is a bias to me being an awards' voter for a few companies and I try to stay as true as I can to that professionalism. Call me a dreamer, call me a fool, but I love being able to say that my judgement, my writing that I bring the fans and reward the performers with, is left unbiased due to the fact that I do not mix business and pleasure anymore. At least in the traditional way. This brings us to part two of our interview with Dee Williams, or “Darlin’” as she was once known. Dee is a woman who I was a fan of long before I even put a pen to paper and made some money off the art that came out it. Dee has long been a woman who changed the world of fetish in so many ways, and she continues to do that within the modern industry. Her role in Women Seeking Women 172 was reviewed by our own James Sharp and is a great example how she has brought over her passion to the mainstream side of porn. In the last part of the interview, we talked about her industry love, now, we talk about the love of girlfriends and how she found another love of her life, as this was something I always wanted to know about Dee Williams the performer when I was strictly just a fan. I was always curious to know, how do you meet and marry one of the most unique women in the world? How does this amazing man proceed, how did it all come together? Now, being an industry writer, I have the opportunity to find out such things and I hope each and every one of you are looking forward to finding out these little tid-bits as I was. In my mind, a woman like Dee, she is one of the last true starlets of the adult film world. A woman who you can tell from one scene she stars in that she is the real deal and always has been.
Don Juan : I can see you being the one in the family who was meant to be an engineer in life. (Read the whole backstory in part one of our interview. Dee and I pretty much begin our talk on philosophy, and the little things that make us tick. As we worked our way up to this discussion about our families, our beliefs that we hold dear to our personas I learned Dee is one of the most intelligent women I have ever had the pleasure of interviewing and this is where we began to find out that the woman we see on screen is not that much different from the woman who loves to ride in fast cars, get tied up with leather, and bakes a cake for all of us after. Not only with a smile on her face but a joy that is very rarely seen in the world today, or maybe I should say, hardly ever reported upon. That is until today.)
Dee Williams : It is very interesting to me with the job that I have, doing what I do. I very regularly end up where my co-workers, how can I put this, the talent who are all typically twenty years younger than I am, a whole generation younger. One of the things that I struggle to really communicate is how different it was growing up in the seventies and eighties to them. Even growing up in the nineties was a completely different experience from what they have faced in terms of the freedom that you had to break gender norms and do what interested you without that sort of judgement .
Don Juan : You know, that is why I really enjoyed getting to ask you those questions about fetish because I always love to tell anyone who will listen, I was lucky enough, or blessed to grow up with an older brother who was gay. Like you said, it was a different time back then compared to how things are now. This is the early nineties we are talking about, and we were Catholic and came from a lineage of teachers in the family, so he wanted to be a teacher and the first shot he had at following in my mom’s footsteps was as a Sunday school teacher. Being a gay man teaching at Sunday school, that was not the best combination. Especially if you were trying to make friends and be accepted by the males. I was……
Dee Williams : Like how was your brother and I ask this being that I have a lot of lesbians in my family, and they range anywhere from so lipstick you would be shocked, to “wow, no, you are obviously gay and there is no hiding it!”
Dee Williams : So I am wondering where on that spectrum does your brother fall in?
Don Juan : Oh, we are talking full fledged flamer .
( I love this woman, can I say that again, I love Dee Williams. What I have always found wondrous about my brother and most other gay men, is that they do not like to make a big deal about who they are. Which is very hard for a straight person like me to not shout out to the rooftops for the person in their family they love unconditionally. What Dee and I are speaking about goes beyond stories of life. In years past, I think the gay and lesbian community had to create what I would call “a world onto itself” where they could escape the torment of the outside world and this goes beyond bars, clubs or other places of stereotype you may think even though those places existed. My brother was a flamer. Meaning that he was engaged to his feminine side in a very big way. He loved to be beautiful, and he was in every phase of the game of life. He is a man who has passion and control. A “ flaming ” homosexual is my favorite because they are people who take massive risks when in the company of people who accept them. For Dee to ask me that question meant a lot because this is one of the key wonders of sexuality. Getting to know how someone relates to the world they lived in. It speaks of the confidence and honesty you gain from giving into who you are no matter if you are gay or straight.)
Don Juan : Yes, now you are going to love this. Me being an inquisitive man, I learned very early in my life that this is something that we are born as. This is sexuality. I would routinely say when I listening the bullshit that is that age old load of crap; “pray the gay away.” Mind you, this is when we would go to Sunday school and I would see the nuns and I would say, “my brother, you think that if he had an freaking choice that he would choose to get his ass kicked every single day? Don't you think he has been praying enough?” I do not know anyone on earth who would choose that in life and they were wrong to judge him. Many were and I learned a very valuable lesson in life that day, all those days.
Don Juan : Growing up where we did, it was very difficult for my brother. All of our aunts, uncles, everyone always had their opinion about him and it was not a good one, and they always let our parents know how they felt. They would not tell you when they were cheating on their taxes but they told you what they thought of homosexual men and women. My family is the same as yours, except we have a lot of gay men in our family. I have always said that I was very blessed to know that side of my older brother. The bonus of such wonders in one's life, is that when you get to understand your own sexuality, like I did, and your brother was a flamer in the nineties, I got to be the one who met all the older girls that were my brother's only friends throughout his life. It was always the females of our species that treated my brother like a human being. Now, to lighten the mood, women, girls, that is where I was at my whole life and with him, I got to be a little ahead of the curve since my brother was five years ahead of me. I got to meet and shack up with all the older school girls when I was still a youngin'. They all thought I was the most adorable little brother and I was.
Dee Williams : That is brilliant! That will advance your education for sure.
Don Juan : Once again Dee, you being the intellectual person that you are, I know you can relate to such conversations. I think that gay men are some of the only " in tune ," honest males on the planet, and I don’t mean that in ways most think. I mean when you want to see the core of what “man” is, you simply look at a gay man. That is the honest, to goodness truth. At least that is how I see it. No matter what we call this type of characteristic that exists in all of us. A feminine side, or a sensitive side. It is something that exists in all of us and needs to be paid attention to more often in this world, especially with men.
Dee Williams : Once again, you see the yin to the yang,within the lesbian community with masculine traits. It is very freeing to be able to be in a community where OK, yes, we are all the same gender, but that does not mean that we all have the same outlook, interests and that sort of thing. It takes what you are interested in. What your dual masculine and feminine energies are and it separates that from sexuality in a way that is super helpful for the brain.
Don Juan : I love this, darlin’ you are walking into each question so beautifully. For me, I think that I have a more predominant feminine brain. I know that I have had that from the get-go. All the little things that make up a person. I have always shared that connection and common ground more with females than I do with with males, that has just been me my entire life. Getting to understand that is just like you said, freeing to the mind. I think most people do not get to know or enjoy that part about themselves ever in life. I don’t think men get the chance to learn such wonders until they are way, way older in life and that is tragic to me.
Dee Williams : I agree with you. I think that men in particular are kept away from their own conceptualizations as well as societies. Testosterone is one hell of a drug! So, you combine those three things and guys feel that they can only walk this one path, even if they are aware of the fifteen other ways that they could be walking, while interacting with the world. Discovering themselves and the interests that they could pick up. They feel constrained to do the “manly” thing like everybody else. Which, if that is your deal, do it! For a lot of us out there though, it is not.
Don Juan : Oh, yes indeed ! You said it all right there and I will tell you this, being a man and how many male, testosterone driven cousins I have, mixed with my very in tune nature that consists my feminine side, I have run into some instances where cousins, the men who I call brother, they would walk up to me out of the blue and ask if I were gay. I never looked at that as an insult. My brother taught me so much about intelligence, about the male mind and a person’s thoughts and what they mean deep down. What I routinely find, when others learn of what I do for my “other” job, their first questions to me are, “I love a man sucking another man’s dick” or, “I like watching “trans” porn, does that mean that I am gay? Or something else?” I have a bit of a chuckle but I truly enjoy getting to tell this big burly man that, “no, that makes you normal brother.”
Dee Williams : Oh, yes. A man being attracted to feminine energy is so not a gay characteristic . Furthest thing from it! It really is the furthest thing that there is.
Don Juan : I really appreciate you sharing the things you experienced and what your story is. That intricate thinking of who you are with your sexuality is something that I have been so curious to learn about you. I see it from afar and I always have. It is such a beautiful thing within you and it inspires so many people.
Dee Williams : Awe, why thank you. I feel very, very lucky that my brain started out being so kinky. I think that I would have had a lot more difficulty processing things if what I had tackled first in life was my sexuality. For me, the word that I use for myself is "queer." I just do not fit into the “hetero” norm that people like to put other people within. It is not going to happen to me to be drawn to souls who are clearly tagged to be the most feminine of fems, or the most masculine of mascs. Exclusively, I love for my partners to have a lot of duality. I like for us to be able to play. Where I am in this whole thing, it is very nice to simply have partners who reflect that but the fact that I was built this way, a lot of people come to kink as a choice, and then there are some of us who just came from the factory hard-wired like that. Just like your brother who came hard-wired from the factory the way he was.
That is a different kind of way of approaching the whole concept from the traditional aspect. Then, if you have to spend a lot of time questioning, “what am I? Do I like this? Why do I like this?” You will miss those questions like, “could this be a part of my interest or not.?” It was just clearly so much a part of things that it was almost my exclusive interest. I am talking about the kinky stuff. The question did not become, “do I shove this down and fake it, or not?” There was no faking, there was no leaving behind my interest in BDSM. From my very first boyfriend, I absolutely had the strategy of, "well they got to be kinky." I can not start in the “normal” dating pool and just hope that I can find someone kinky. I need to be the person that starts in the kinky dating pool and hope that I find someone who is a normal human being above and beyond that.
Don Juan : We are cut from the same cloth woman, I love it!
Dee Williams : I mean, it makes the search very different. In some ways, I think that it made my search a lot easier. I feel that trying to find somebody who matches your kinks, in the “normal” dating pool, it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Well, the kinky dating pool, it is an odd pool of fish, I am not going to say that it is not. You kiss a lot of frogs. Let's just say I run into this a lot; “you're weird in a way that is not my kind of weird.”
Don Juan : I love that term and I mean this in the most compassionate way. It is finding that person who lets you feel comfortable showing your weirdness to them, that is special beyond anything else in life. When I met the love of my life we were speaking about off the record earlier, I met her at a convention, and we met the people behind our alter egos and that was such a breath of fresh air. She even told me later that she loved the romance, the kindness and this comes from a very, very stern woman. Then she told me, “being how romantic you are, you made me feel so safe and not strange when I asked if I could kick your ass and you did not look at me like a piece of shit.” I know that sounds vulgar as hell but that was her discovering romance and acceptance in other forms and seeing acceptance in a place she never thought possible. We taught that to each other in many ways. She taught me so much about where my mind could go. What I could do with ferocity, with intensity, with thought in other places. I was blown away in every way that a thinking mind can be blown away. We broke up but are still great friends and how this relates to what you are saying, I tell her, “finding someone after you who fits the bill and pushes me, it is so difficult. It is not as easy as the first time.”
Dee Williams : Well, it took you nearly fifteen years of dating before you even figured out that was something that you wanted to find. It took you fifteen years to accidentally stumble upon it not even knowing what you were looking for. Once you realize that is what you are seeking out, it does become a demoralizing search. Once you realize that you are looking for that one in a million, then discover you are not going to find that one in a million if I have only looked at thirty-five people. You have to look at a million people, that is a lot of people.
Don Juan : I will say this again woman, we are so cut from the same cloth. Speaking of the romance part and finding that "one in a million person." I love how you just keep walking into every single question. I think this is the perfect time to bring about some tales of romance. Your fella, my goodness, he is a treasure of this business.
Don Juan : Oh me, oh my, he sure is. I got my intro into the intricacies of rope binding and rigging through my girl and her girlfriend. Her daddy dom was a master rigger here in Colorado. Here is what I have been dying to know from the great Dee Williams. I would love to know the story of how Dee met Matt. I would love to hear this tale of how exactly you both fell for each other. For me, what is coming to mind is something way fucking better than “When Harry Met Sally.”
Dee Williams : (She starts with that wonderful Texas laugh and…) It is a story that spans multiple years. I originally met him when I was twenty-five, and I was getting into the bondage world as a model. I took me a little bit of time from when I started doing sex-adjacent work. I started in LA and I had done some bondage performances and that sort of thing from the time that I was in college and when I moved to LA, I had been a teacher for about three years in Texas, then, when I moved to LA, I got a job doing the same there. The difficulty of getting a position in LA, is that all of Los Angeles is just one giant school district. Where in Dallas, there are about fifteen school districts between all the little suburbs that they have. I mean we are talking about every single suburb except maybe two have their own district. Now, in LA, everything is together, and we are talking everything from Beverly Hills to South Central, it is all one giant district. So, if you are going to get a job there, and there are jobs at great schools do not get me wrong. They are massively outnumbered by the jobs at difficult schools. You are going to have to do a couple of years in a difficult school and you must pay your dues as a teacher before you get your transfer to a good school. So, I took this job down in South Central. Yeah, it was rough.
Now, for stress relief I took a job at a dungeon. In LA at the time, the city had about four or five dungeons I believe. Can you believe now it is down to only one or two? Now, they had these dungeons where you could just walk-in and book a session with a mistress for one hour or so, but they also had professional switches and submissives on site. So, I took a job as a professional submissive on the weekends to go get spanked and get money for doing such things. It is stress relief, right? So that is really how I got my start in all of sex work in general.
So this is where I met someone who also produced spanking videos. This gal, she put me right into the thick of things and before you knew it I was in a spanking video and I met a few models while partaking. These models asked me if I wanted to do a “ cat fight ” video with them. I told these ladies, “I don't even know what a cat fight video is.” They said to me, “that is exactly the kind of woman I want to have a cat fight with.”
(The fact that Dee is sharing this, it is something very rare. I don’t often think enough that we get to hear not just the tales o
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