Dear Penis

Dear Penis

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Dear penis
I don't think I like you anymore
You used to watch me shave
Now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh dear penis
I don't like you anymore

It used to be you and me
A paper towel and a dirty magazine
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things have changed
And I think that you're the one to blame
Dear penis, I don't like you anymore

He sings

Dear Rodney
I don't think I like you anymore
Cos when you get to drinking
You put me places I've never been before
Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip
On our man to hand relationship
Come to terms with truly how we feel
If we put our heads together
We'd just stay home forever
Dear penis, I think I like you after all

Oh and Rodney
While you're shaving, shave my balls

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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

^ Charles Stafford (1 June 2006). The Roads of Chinese Childhood: Learning and Identification in Angang . Cambridge University Press. ISBN 978-0-521-02656-7 .

^ Robert M. Laughlin; Carol Karasik (1988). The People of the Bat: Mayan Tales and Dreams from Zinacantán . Smithsonian Institution Press. ISBN 978-0-87474-590-0 .

^ Bonnard (1999), p. 24

^ "Deer Penis Loses Favor as China's Olympians Fear Drug Testers" . Bloomberg . March 23, 2008 . Retrieved June 23, 2010 .

^ Harding, Andrew (September 23, 2006). "Beijing's penis emporium" . BBC . Retrieved June 23, 2010 .

^ The Atlantic Monthly , Volume 274, Atlantic Monthly Co., 1994

^ Richard Spencer, On the menu today: horse penis and testicles with a chilli dip, The Telegraph

^ Jump up to: a b Jerry Hopkins; Anthony Bourdain; Michael Freeman (2004). Extreme Cuisine: The Weird & Wonderful Foods That People Eat . Tuttle Publishing. p. 99. ISBN 978-0-7946-0255-0 .

^ Stafford, Charles (1995). The roads of Chinese childhood: learning and identification in Angang . Volume 97 of Cambridge studies in social and cultural anthropology . Cambridge University Press . p. 98. ISBN 978-0-521-46574-8 .

^ Bonnard (1999), p. 125

^ "Three-Penis Rice Wine" . 11 February 2011.

Wikimedia Commons has media related to Deer penis .
In traditional Chinese medicine , a deer penis ( Chinese : 鹿鞭 ; pinyin : lù biān ; Vietnamese : Lộc pín ) is said to have important therapeutic properties.

In Angang , Taiwan , women are reported to consume deer penis during pregnancy as it is said to have a fattening effect and to make the mother and child stronger. [1]

The Mayans were also known to extract the penis of the deer and roast it. [2] Hippocrates recommended consuming deer penis to resolve sexual difficulties. [3]

During the 2008 Summer Olympics in China, the country banned deer penis wine, turtle blood and angelica root supplements from athletes' diets. [4] This is because according to traditional Chinese medicine, deer penis, especially if ingested while soaked in alcohol ( deer penis wine ), is an effective remedy for athletic injuries. Chinese Olympic officials advised national athletes not to take the traditional remedy because it may contain the banned herb Ephedra . It joined steroids and various stimulants on the list of banned substances. When consumed, a deer penis or tiger penis is also said to enhance strength, and is thought by some to be an aphrodisiac . [5]

Like turtle's blood and penis, deer penis is one of the "delicacies" served in large jars in Snake Alley , Taipei . [6] It is also served on the Chinese mainland in restaurants such as the Guo Li Zhuang . [7]
Deer penis wine can be sold at $12 a glass and often as high as $455 for a two-litre bottle. [8] Deer-antler wine, known as Lurongjiu , is also said to enhance sexual potency in men and to have a warming effect, aiding the joints. [9] [10] A deer's penis, turtle's penis, or bull's penis is consumed in restaurants and is known in Singapore to be offered as a soup delicacy. [8]

Powdered deer penis is mentioned in the 1996 Steven Seagal film The Glimmer Man during the scene where Seagal and Keenen Ivory Wayans enter a Chinese herbal store.

Weebam-Na, a miscellaneous character in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, mentions powdered deer penis when asked about Leyawiin, the city he resides in.

Deer penis is mentioned in the 2009 episode of The Office "Double Date" when Dwight corrects Michael's statement calling fish sticks an aphrodisiac: "you're thinking of deer penis," Dwight replies.

In season 1 episode 5 of The League , Ruxin and Taco go to Chinatown to buy "3 Penis Wine", involving the infusion of deer penises, dog penises , and snake penises . However, the real "Three-Penis Wine" contains a fusion of seal, dog and deer penis. [11]

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Dear penis: i dont likeu anymore
You use to watch me shave
now all you do is stare at the floor
Oh dear penis i dont like u anymore
It use to be you and me a paper towel and a dirty magazine.
That's all we needed to get by
Now it seems things has change
And I think that you're the blame
Dear penis I dont like u anymore.
He says: Dear Rodney i don't thing i like u anymore
Cuz when you get a drinkin'
you put me places i never been before
Dear Rodney I dont like u anymore.
Why can't we just a grip on our man-to-hand relationship?
and come to terms with truely how we feel....
If we put are heads together
We'd just stay home forever
Dear penisI think i like you after all
Oh and Rodney while your shaving
Shave my balls.
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