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Daughter brings early Father's Day gift on the way to prom The senior at Mission Oaks High School made 25-mile detour to drop by and surprise her father.

Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
I n September 2000 my daughter was nearly 13 and had just started secondary school. She had always got on well with other children and worked hard. But after a couple of months things began to change. She started wearing lots of make-up. The school was a stone's throw away, but friends began calling for her as early as 7.30am. Next my older daughter spotted her hanging about in the local park with some lads from school who introduced the girls they befriended to older boys and men. I was very alarmed. Then she started missing certain lessons, sometimes whole days.
When she started disappearing overnight, I trawled the streets looking for her. I had no control over her. Sometimes she would say she was going to have an early night, then she'd turn on the shower and climb out the bathroom window. Once when she disappeared, I went through the park looking for her and asked a teenage boy if he'd seen her. I was horrified when he said, "Yes, all the prostitutes hang out by the bowling green."
I confronted my daughter. "That's not true," she said. "Those boys are my boyfriends."
As far as she was concerned, she was doing what she wanted to do and I was hindering her. Money didn't seem to be changing hands, but the girls were getting drink and drugs and mobile phones. The men flattered them into believing they loved them as part of a process of grooming them to have sex with lots of different men, some in their 30s and 40s. People ask me why I use the word "grooming" rather than referring to them as paedophiles, but most of these men haven't been convicted.
I felt as if my daughter was sliding away from me and I'd never be able to get her back. Every minute of every day became a nightmare. I couldn't eat, sleep or function properly, and I could see no way back. Every time she disappeared, I thought I'd never see her alive again. If a girl is over 13, she has to be the complainant in a case of sexual assault. Because this was happening outside the house, there was nothing I could do. The worst thing, as a mother, was not being able to prevent my daughter from being abused.
At the end of 2001, a year after her first disappearance, I put her into care. She didn't want to go, but I could no longer cope. My lowest point was the first time I visited her. Seeing her and having to walk away was unbearable. Everything exploded while she was in care, and I had a breakdown.
My nephew killed himself unexpectedly during this time. My daughter and I attended the funeral, and were both extremely upset. Afterwards, I took my daughter firmly by the shoulders and said to her, "You'll never know how many times I thought I'd be going to your funeral."
Then I walked away. She seemed to turn some sort of corner that day, and so did I. She started to realise what she was doing to herself and I could see for the first time that she needed me. I think I had to feel as low as it was possible to feel before I found the strength to fight what was happening to her and other girls.
I started campaigning with Ann Cryer, the MP for Keighley, for a change in the law to make hearsay evidence admissible in grooming cases, a change we secured last year. I'm proud of what I achieved and my daughter is proud of me, too.
After two years in care, she came back to live with me, went back to college, got qualifications. At times she feels down about what happened to her, which she now recognises as abuse. Last year Channel 4 made a programme about the grooming issue in this area and, although some white men were involved, the BNP hijacked it as a race issue: Asians exploiting white girls. I was furious because this is not a race issue.
The men live locally and we see them from time to time. They call my daughter names, and me, too, if I'm with her. I say to them, "I'm not frightened of any of you." My daughter calls out, "I've moved on with my life and it's a shame you can't move on with yours." Our relationship is better than it has ever been. We talk to each other and if she goes out with friends, she leaves a note on the fridge telling me where she's gone and when she'll be back. It's fantastic to get those notes.
· Do you have a story to tell? Email: experience@theguardian.com

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The father was confronted by another swimmer for his 'inappropriate' behaviour. But his wife says he did absolutely nothing wrong.
Pip Christmass / Parenting / Updated 19.01.2021
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A dad has been shamed for showering naked with his six-year-old daughter after a swim at a local public pool.
The wife of the man took to Kidspot to share the altercation between the dad and another man in at the pool’s change rooms.
The dad Kyle had gone swimming with his daughter Isla (not their real names) on a hot day.
For more Parenting related news and videos check out Parenting >>
Everything went along wonderfully until it was time to get out of the pool and have a quick shower before heading home.
“Kyle collected the bags and towels and ushered Isla into the men’s change room to have a quick shower and get dressed,” the mum wrote.
The change rooms were empty so Kyle decided it would be OK for him and Isla to have a quick shower to wash off the chlorine and for him to wash Isla’s hair.
“But as they stood together under the water, a man in his 50s walked into the change room and saw them,” the mum wrote.
Kyle saw the man’s “disgusted” look before the man in his 50s spoke up.
“Not really the right place for your daughter, is it?” the man said.
“This is the male change room, not the female. She shouldn’t be showering like that in here.”
Kyle was in a state of “shock” at the man’s comments, his wife said.
They quickly got out of the shower, got dressed and left.
Back at home, Kyle discussed the incident with his wife, who became “absolutely infuriated.”
“He asked me if I thought that him showering naked with Isla was inappropriate in the men’s change room,” she wrote.
“He explained that while he hadn’t given it a second thought at the time, now he was second-guessing himself and his decision to do it.”
But Isla’s mum said it was a completely “normal and practical” thing to do.
“Not only was I infuriated that this man has made this remark to a father caring for his daughter, but infuriated that now my husband was insecure in his own parenting abilities and the decision he made,” she wrote.
“How is a father helping his six-year-old daughter shower in a changeroom after a swim wrong?”
" ‘How is a father helping his six-year-old daughter shower in a changeroom after a swim wrong?’ "
The mum pointed out that Isla, at six years old, was too young to be sent off to the female change room by herself and it was the most “responsible” option for Kyle to have taken her with him.
“I understand that everyone comes with their own views and beliefs and perhaps if Isla was older ... I would have understood where this man was coming from,” she wrote.
“But she is a six-year-old girl - and nothing about her using a public changeroom, even if it is the men’s, with her father, is wrong.”


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