Dating Your Spouse After An Affair

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The initial discovery of an affair usually triggers powerful emotions for both partners, as well as a sense of loss . The partner who has been cheated on might feel traumatized by the betrayal of trust and obsessively think about the details of the affair . The partner who committed the infidelity might fear being punished forever .
Here's 8 tips to help love grow for your spouse again: 1 . All contact with an affair partner . needs to end completely . This is for the unfaithful spouse … . I know this is obvious, but it needs to still be stated . Your marriage will never stand a chance as long as there's any contact with the AP at all .
Phase 2: Attune . The second phase, attunement, is only possible when a couple moves ahead with forgiveness and is ready to rebuild their relationship without blaming the victim of infidelity . During this phase, the couple must make a commitment to learning how to handle conflict so that it doesn't overwhelm them .
Sex with your spouse or committed partner is normal after an affair and happens when you are both scared to lose one another . You may desperately want to connect, or want to hold each other . You may each crave the feeling of being intimate and in each other's arms .
The idea of coming to an agreement with your spouse after the affair defining your relationship, writing it out, and signing it . Dr . Frank Gunzburg states that, "This contract becomes a symbol of your renewed relationship and the practices that you intend to institute throughout your relationship ." . What a great idea!
After an affair is discovered, in most cases a metamorphosis begins for the unfaithful spouse . Up until that time he/she may have been carrying on as if nothing was going on . They were stealthy in their ways and they thought they would never get caught . Then it happens .
Cheating in and of itself won't necessarily end your marriage…how you and your spouse handle the fallout from the affair will . It takes hard work, dedication, and honesty to stay together . You may be someone who knows immediately that staying after betrayal is not for you, and the moment there's infidelity, you're out .
4 . Avoid Cheap Forgiveness . Sometimes the desire to salvage the relationship (and on the flip side, the fear of losing a partner) overwhelms the necessity to vent anger, and wronged partners . . .
Consciously check in with your partner . For dealing with infidelity, be intentional about checking in with your husband or wife's level of happiness within the marriage . It's a very real possibility that someone may have cheated because they were miserable with the circumstances of the relationship at that time .
Other couples "wax a dirty floor," avoiding discussions of the affair after sharing a few factual details . They resume a relationship of pseudomutuality . An unfaithful husband who had a second affair stated that his wife showed so little concern about his first affair that he thought it didn't really bother her much .
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Dating Your Spouse After An Affair