Dating Your Female Manager

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Is dating a female boss good for a male employee?
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Updated 7 years ago · Author has 266 answers and 948K answer views
Dating your boss is not a good idea but I see no point in advising against it as I presume few readers are considering courting their manager with the conscious goal of carrier advancement. Sometimes things like this do happen and you just can't help it although you know it's not a good idea. Love is very much capable of finding its way around common sense.
Some will point out that there is a noticeable trend for women to have relationships with higher-ranking men, seemingly as a form of gold-digging. I doubt that this is most times a conscious decision - women just get attracted to men with hi
Dating your boss is not a good idea but I see no point in advising against it as I presume few readers are considering courting their manager with the conscious goal of carrier advancement. Sometimes things like this do happen and you just can't help it although you know it's not a good idea. Love is very much capable of finding its way around common sense.
Some will point out that there is a noticeable trend for women to have relationships with higher-ranking men, seemingly as a form of gold-digging. I doubt that this is most times a conscious decision - women just get attracted to men with high social status, and their bosses spend most of their time around them, projecting higher status. It's the same with teachers, religious/cult leaders, yoga instructors - you name it.
The same thing is, of course, going on for men but the observable result is that men pay more attention to looks than social standing (while women get easily "blinded" by status) - that's why men are more rarely accused of using their charm to get unfair advantages.
This is not to say that men don't reap the same benefits though. Direct advancement in the organization as a result of the relationship is unlikely but their are other indirect benefits:

Speaking from experience, by the way - but it didn't start this way. I started going out with a girl that was reporting to me but over the course of our relationship she ended up being my manager. It was nice while it lasted but the break-up was very painful for both, having to work together and all.
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Answered 8 years ago · Author has 30.9K answers and 299.5M answer views
Originally Answered: is dating a female boss is good for a male employee?
A subordinate dating their boss is always a poor idea, regardless of gender.
Not only does it open up the subordinate to potential exploitation, it can open the boss to charges of sexual harassment if the relationship fails. It can also be viewed as being unfair to co-workers who will question if your success, if you have any, is due to your personal relationship.
This is one of those situations where if you have to ask if something is a bad idea, it probably is.
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I'd also broken up with my boyfriend of six years two months earlier, and I hadn't been on a date since. I was immediately struck by how much cuter he was in person than via Skype we'd only done video interviews up until that point since he was based in the company's Chicago office. Though I would have to be blind not to notice how attractive he was, I told myself he was off-limits since he was my boss. He said, "Yeah, some of my friends got married so they could have sex," Justin said. Shortly afterward, Justin said, "So, uh, should we order a second bottle? Even though two bottles of wine at a work meeting seemed aggressive to me, I agreed because I didn't want to turn down my boss, and I was really enjoying the first intimate conversation I'd had with a guy since breaking up with my boyfriend.
Men can counter this tendency by thinking before they speak in stressful moments with their female boss - and remembering that her opinions deserve respect.
But maybe the best, and simplest, advice for men being managed by women is to just stay quiet and listen. Men, even subordinate ones, interrupt women as much as three times more often than they interrupt other men.
A recent study published in The Harvard Business Review showed this as a major concern for even for women at the executive level. Women in Business. Next Article - shares Add to Queue.
Image credit: Shutterstock. Anna Redmond.
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A bit of casual flirting with your boss might attract just enough extra attention to land you that key assignment you were hoping for, or help you secure a more desirable shift. Of course, this could also backfire depending on the culture of your workplace.
Think about your limits. Do you intend to simply flirt and leave it at that, or are you hoping to eventually begin a romantic relationship with your boss?
Figure out what your limits are, and don't offer more than you intend to offer. Leading someone on is unlikely to get you anything you want. Be aware of possible consequences at work. Relationships in the workplace, especially between supervisors and employees, are prohibited in many companies. Getting involved with your boss might put one or both of you at risk for losing your jobs.
If your flirting is unwelcome or excessive, you also run the risk of crossing the line from flirtation into sexual harassment, which in many offices can result in immediate termination. Finally, you might run the risk of losing your credibility or reputation for trustworthiness at work.
Even after-hours interactions with your boss can be used as a legal basis for one or both of you to be fired, so beware! If they aren't published, ask an HR person for assistance.
If you are afraid to make these inquiries because you fear that people will gossip, remember that they will gossip even more if you get involved with your boss, so factor that into your decision.
Consider possible social consequences. If your flirting doesn't get you in trouble at work, it could still make you very unpopular. Other coworkers might look down on you for flirting with the boss, or become jealous if it looks like you are getting special treatment because of your flirting.
You might also suffer from considerable embarrassment if the flirting goes badly, or you do end up in a relationship that doesn't end well. Part 2 of Proceed cautiously.
You've decided that it's worth the risk, and you want to go ahead and flirt with your boss. Now be careful! Since there are so many possible risks, the best approach is to be very sensitive to any responses you might receive for your efforts, and subtle enough with your behavior that you can deny that flirting was your intention if it doesn't go off as planned.
Try to flirt without looking like you are flirting. Make eye contact. Making and holding eye contact is the first lesson of Flirtingand is sometimes the only tool you need to convey your interest in another person.
Eye contact is an equally effective tool for men and for women, and can even make someone feel more attracted to you. When your boss addresses you, be sure to look her directly in the eye when she speaks to you. Create more opportunities for eye contact by intentionally walking past your boss's office more often, or arranging in person meetings in lieu of phone calls or emails.
Note that it takes more than a single passing glance to get the message across. It might take between 3 and 13 soulful looks for your boss to realize that you are trying to signal attraction. If your boss tries to avoid your gaze or seems shifty or uncomfortable, be sure to back off. It seems like a simple piece of advice, but there are few things more appealing than a friendly, genuine smile.
Interestingly enough, crow's feet are the marker of a happy, non-forced smile, so don't worry about any wrinkles you may or may not have. Flash your boss a real smile every now and again to let her know that you are pleased to see her.
Be attentive. Pay close attention when your boss speaks to you and try to act interested, even if you aren't particularly excited about the subject matter. Ask follow-up questions that show you are engaged, and make comments that show your enthusiasm.
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