Dating Terminology

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A person's dating profile says a lot about them, but only if you can decipher the code. No one is going to admit to being a gold digger... but they might hint that they "enjoy the finer things." Master the online dating jargon with the series premiere of Online Dating Rituals of the American Male Sunday, March 9 @ 10/9c on Bravo!
What it actually means: It means it's going to be a while before you get past first base. It's not a bad thing... prudes need love too.
What it actually means: When someone describes him or herself as "outgoing," it means one of two things — 1) They're extremely talkative and opinionated, in an often off-putting way, or 2) They get drunk, like really drunk.
What it actually means: Oftentimes, "great personality" actually means that the person has a pleasant demeanor, but it's also sometimes code for not excelling in the looks department.
What it actually means: When a guy says he's of average height, it means he's one to two inches shorter than average height. When a girl says she's of average height, it means she's one to two inches taller than average height.
What it actually means: Person believes that the man should wear the pants in the relationship.
What it actually means: When a girl describes herself as athletic, she's letting you know that there ain't no booty in the pants and that she doesn't spend much time shopping for bras.
What it actually means: Gold digger alert! Hide your wallet!
What it actually means: "Distinguished gentleman" is just a nice way of saying "senior citizen."
What it actually means: Any girl that describes herself as girly is just trying to cushion the fact that she's high-maintenance. But hey! At least she's aware of it.
What it actually means: Cheater! When someone tells you they're discreet, they actually mean that they're in a relationship and looking for a quiet thing on the side.
What it actually means: Synonyms for "playful" include "kinky," "freaky-deaky," and "experimental."

Ever been benched? What about stashed, or breadcrumbed?
If you've spent time in the online dating world (and therefore met a jerk or 10), it's likely you've been victim to at least one of these behaviours, even if you don't know what it's called.
Being across the lingo isn't just about keeping up with the cool kids, it can also be healing and empowering to know what happened to you has a label — and that you're not alone.
Brisbane's Phoebe Parsons recently had this revelation and she's been sharing her newfound understanding of dating terms in her podcast on dating.
"The one that got me the most was finding out there was a name for when someone ghosts you [ceases contact without warning] but still watches you on social media," she says.
The 29-year-old realised she was being "haunted" by several past flames.
"That one really gets to me because it happens all the time," Phoebe says.
"[It's like] he's watching your every move."
She says learning the terms has been "eye-opening and powerful".
"It's very comforting there are names for these things. It reaffirms the fact that you are not alone, it is happening to other people."
In the online dating world, we judge books by their covers. So, how can we tweak our profiles and photos to maximise the chances of finding love?
Technology has changed the way we move on from relationships, Phoebe says.
"People have previously waited for that classic closure, but unfortunately in the day of social media, closure is not a thing you will get," she says.
"Recognising people's behaviours and identifying them with a name, like ghosting, benching or cloaking — that gives you closure.
"You know exactly what they are doing, and it can put you back in the driver's seat and help you get back into dating."
Get up to speed with our dating glossary to learn a little more about 2019 dating behaviours — whether it's for you or even your teenage kids.
When someone puts a potential relationship on ice for the sake of a more promising one. They may revisit the benched person if the other option falls through. It's great for the bencher who basically gets a captain's pick of romantic partner, but if you're playing the role of benchwarmer, it probably doesn't feel as good.
Like leaving a trail of bread crumbs, breadcrumbing is when someone leads a romantic interest on. They keep attention from afar by dropping little bits of attention here and there, whether it be a text or Instagram 'like'. Sucks to be Hansel or Gretel in this storyline.
The new ghosting. Where ghosting just sees a potential love interest go quiet on all channels of communication, getting cloaked means they have blocked you as well. Burn.
Technology and shifting value systems are breaking down traditional definitions of cheating, but we haven't quite figured out what is definitively good and bad in this brave new world.
When you find a bae for winter just to keep company during cold nights indoors. Uncuffing is when you dump them for summer fun.
If a romance with someone isn't going swell, one or both people might begin flirting with others to cushion the final break-up blow. You're starting to test-drive other models before you've returned the keys for what you're currently operating.
Ever been drilled about kids and marriage on the first date? You attended a dateview. It's like an interview but even worse (if your date took notes that might have been another sign).
Define the relationship. It's that big awkward chat where two (or more?) people discuss "where things are going".
You've been dating for a while, but the question remains — is this going anywhere? It can be a scary subject to raise, so we got some advice on how.
When the effort in a relationship is one-sided, that is firedooring (because fire escapes only open from one side, duh). For example, a romantic interest may never reply to your texts, but you'll hear from them when they want something. Booty call, anyone?
Brutal and unexpected. Ghosting is when someone cuts contact with a person they're seeing on all channels without warning. Basically, it's a coward's way of ending a relationship.
Kind of like ghosting, but the ghoster continues to watch the ghosted person's Instagram stories, or like their posts.
When you turn up to a date and realise the person's profile picture must be 10 years old, you've been kittenfished. Like catfishing, but a person painting a much prettier picture of themselves on dating apps than what they are in real life.
Classic jerk behaviour. Someone reads a message, but doesn't reply. Possibly the dating world's most frustrating behaviour. JUST REPLY TO MY MESSAGE GOD DAMMIT, SUSAN!
If conversations on the internet leave you scratching your head thinking WTF, this glossary of current online terms and acronyms might be just what you need.
Ah, the backhanded compliment with a sinister twist. This is what manipulators use to undermine your confidence and therefore increase your need for that person's approval.
When someone lets a former fling know they are still interested by still liking their social media posts. Easier than picking up the phone or showing up on the doorstep with a dozen roses?
Ignoring someone in favour of a phone. Guilty. As. Charged.
Like the critters hiding in your kitchen cupboard, this is when a romantic partner hides the fact they are dating around.
If you subjected yourself to last season of Married at First Sight, you'll know all about this term. "He's a total snack." Short story short, when someone looks good, they are a snack.
Haven't met your beau's friends and family? No photos of you on their social pages? They could be stashing you and the relationship to keep their options open. Also known as pocketing.
It's like ghosting, but when the person pops up again out of the blue acting like nothing ever happened. Just like a submarine.
Even if the intent to hurt isn't there, the silent treatment can have "torturous and upsetting" consequences for the recipient. Here's how to approach being frozen out by your partner.
Someone gradually losing contact with you. Like ghosting, but a softer blow with more warning signs.
A sexy photo posted on social media to attract attention. We've all done it.
When someone a person has swiped left on via Tinder finds them on Instagram and hits on them there. (Also known as stalking, don't do this.)
This one's a dead giveaway. BOOM TISH. It's when your ex comes back from the grave to say "hi".
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Posted 27 MayMay 2019, updated 10 SepSeptember 2019
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Dating Terminology

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