Dating Older Man Vs Younger Man

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In my early twenties, I was very attracted to older men. In fact, older men were the only type of guys that I was interested in. I was very mature for my age, and my peers seemed childish and boring. Maybe that's the reason my first serious boyfriend was ten years older than me. A few years fast forward, I found myself in the arms of a much younger man that made me wonder what was with that fascination with the oldies.
Here are my observations with some pros and cons of dating an older man vs. dating a younger man.
When our common friend introduced us, I didn't see Luke as a potential partner. He wasn't exactly my type: too short to my liking, with a slightly receding hairline, and he seemed to be very reserved. And even though I preferred older guys, I thought he was too old for me. The three of us were hanging out together and having fun as friends would do. One thing that piqued my interest was that Luke was very attentive, much more than a friend would be, and who doesn't like attention? Certainly not me. Not sure if it was a coincidence, or a well-planned move of my friend when he bailed from our planned outing one night, but Luke and I ended up going to a concert together. That's when we finally exchanged our phone numbers, and the texting game began.
It took around a hundred text messages and one dinner date for me to start thinking that I am really enjoying conversations with Luke.
He was damn good at wordplay: sophisticated yet fun, saying enough to keep the conversation flowing and, at the same time, too little to satisfy my curiosity, leaving me hanging for more. There was always intrigue and great depth in our dialogues, making them stimulating, but not tiring.
Luke's worldliness and life experience made it impossible to run out of conversation topics. I felt like I had a teacher who could open up the doors to the unknown dimensions. He was teaching me about different grapes and wine regions; he was sharing his stories about traveling in Asia; he was introducing me to the best independent movies. And I was a young student who was eager to soak up all that knowledge.
Luke was financially stable, and he showed me a different side of life that I had never experienced before. Gourmet dinners at the best restaurants in town, craft cocktails at speakeasy bars, weekend getaways, flower bouquets delivered to my work became my daily life.
He was showering me with attention. It felt like he knew what to say and what to do to please me. My heart was melting when he'd show up before I finish work with my favorite coffee and a cupcake. Or when I worked late shifts, he would bring homemade dinner so we can have a picnic in his car.
Luke had excellent manners, and he was also good with compliments. He treated me like a lady, and his attention made me shine. Could I have asked for more?
Being almost forty, he had his ways of doing things, and he was not willing to change that. One of those things that drove me crazy was him living in his old family house, not wanting to move anywhere. I should probably add that his mum lived in the same house as well.
As our relationship with Luke progressed, I mentioned the possibility of living together, but his answer was a firm 'no.' The main argument was that his parents' house was big enough for me to move in and that renting a place was a waste of money.
As much as I liked Luke's mum, living together in the family house was not exactly my vision. For over a year we were altering the days we stayed in my place and his mum's house, while I still hoped he would eventually want to have a home that we'd call ours. When the lease of my tiny apartment was about to expire, I popped him a question about how he imagines our foreseeable future together. His answer was, "In my mum's place." That's where I left him, and I have a feeling I would still find him there today.
Gabriel appeared on my Tinder screen. That night I was bored at home, so I decided to adjust the age filter just to perve on some young scantily clad bodies with shiny bicepses and six-packs (oh yeah, there is no shortage of those on Tinder, especially in the age range of 20 to 25). Some of the guys were cute, but I never planned to contact them, let alone go on a date. That's until Gabriel's photo popped up. No, he wasn't showing off his sixpack, but he had this mischievous smile on his face and little devils in his eyes. I took a sip of wine and swiped right.
When I met Gabriel precisely 12 hours later (after some very intriguing conversation via messages), he was even cuter than in his photos.
Youthful self-confidence was radiating from his pores. He looked at me with his eyes slightly squinted, and the mysterious smile that I recognized from his photos revealed cute dimples on his cheeks. I was getting goosebumps even from looking at him.
The seductive charm of his tentative touch. The scent of his perfume when he'd lean closer during our conversation over a cocktail. The room was electrified with his presence. He wasn't even making a move, at least not an obvious one, but his confidence was so sexy, and my hormones were raging.
You have probably already guessed the direction things took. To my great surprise, Gabriel was quite shy in bed at the beginning, but boy, he built up his confidence quickly, and whatever magic he was doing to me, it was nothing like I experienced before. It's not that he knew it all, but he was reacting to my slightest hints, and he would not have enough of me. He reminded me how insatiable I used to be before sex with my older ex became a boring routine.
Gabriel woke up a wild puma in me: I was getting excited about the slightest thought of him, and I wanted him everywhere. We would escape a friends' party to have a quickie in his car. He would lift my skirt up in the hallway before leaving for work. He would come back to the room with a hard-on from the shower, moments later, after we had let some steam off in the bedroom. We would have sex a few times a day. Miss Insatiable - that's how he called me, but in fact, he was the insatiable one, and I was just playing along (and surely enjoying it).
Everything was amazing with Gabriel until I started thinking that I am ready to take the next step and suggested moving in together. He started stuttering, saying that he needs to think about it and kept on postponing the conversation until I asked a straightforward question if he imagines his future with me. He told me he needed space and that things were evolving too fast. He didn't break up with me, but I took the next step myself and moved to another city, putting an end to our steamy relationship.
Don't get me wrong; I never regretted any moment spent with Gabriel. However, I was at the stage of my life where I knew what I wanted and I was ready for a commitment more than ever. He surely wasn't a lifetime partner material, and I am glad I was able to admit it.
So what do I prefer, you may ask: dating an older man or dating a younger man? Honestly, both scenarios have advantages, but for the past couple of years, I've been dating a man of exactly my age, and I am feeling relieved. The fact that we were born around the same time makes it easier to understand each other, and we have similar education and likes for certain things. We are at around the same point in our lives, taking it seriously and not looking for short term flings. The best part is that we understand each other, sometimes even without words, and we are willing to adjust to each other. While I can't prove it depends entirely on our similar age, it is definitely one of the factors that come into play and make the relationship work.
About The Author: Emma enjoys observing and exploring the world around her and writing about her discoveries. Human relationships is her favorite topic, and she likes to analyze them from a psychological perspective. She is a contributing author at Thought Catalog, GoDates, and several other media outlets.
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Somehow in the recent past, the appeal of dating men who are either a number of years younger or a number of years older has grown in leaps and bounds. Maybe Demi and Ashton made it cool? Or was it Catherine and Michael? Who knows where the fascination stems from, but whatever the reason, there is no denying that there is something innately intriguing about dating a man who grew up in a completely different generation than your own. But why? And which one is the better choice? Is it either of them? We decided to thoroughly investigate and bring you our list of pros and cons to dating both younger men and older men.
Younger Men
There is a phenomenal generation of younger men growing up in the world today. More in tune with everything from gender equality to gay rights, these men are being raised to be some of the world’s most open-minded, forgiving, and genuinely kind specimen’s of the male race. They know how to make a woman feel desirable and respected, and even better, they expect the same balance in return. There is very little that shocks or appalls the younger men of today and they are often welcoming of a good debate and their opinions and beliefs are often more fluid and malleable than the older men sharing this earth.
In addition to this, younger guys are not only closer to their sexual peak, but they are also super eager to please you, meaning they will often take on your helpful hints with gusto. Oh, and did we mention stamina (in and out of the bedroom)? Younger men are more likely than their older counterparts to be up for just about anything. From teaching you how to scale a rock climbing wall to keeping you up all night between the sheets, these guys are likely to open your eyes to experiences you might never have the chance to encounter with an older dude.
But then there comes the obvious cons with dating a younger man. We all know that, for the most part, men don’t exactly mature at the same rate as women. You may find yourself attached to a 22-year-old man with the maturity level of a 15-year-old boy. Not fun. Often fresh off the university circuit, these guys can still be establishing themselves in their career, meaning that not only will they likely have less time for you, but probably less dispensable income to treat you to more extravagant nights out (not that there is anything wrong with takeout and cuddles on the couch!) Lastly, younger men are rarely looking for a super serious, long-term commitment. If this is what you are aiming for, it is probably best try a different tactic.
Regardless, these relationships (whether fleeting or forever) can be fun and liberating for both parties and there are definitely perks in showing off your hot younger man and being his sexy older woman!
Older Men
Hands down, the best part about dating older men is their experience. Not only do they have ample knowledge about everything from the best wine to drink with fish to how to (properly!) change the oil in your car, but they have usually been on their own and fending for themselves for a number of years meaning that (most of the time) they can do their own laundry with ease and whip up a decent meal without breaking a sweat. And luckily, this experience often stretches into the bedroom where they tend to be more confident than their younger counterparts and more willing to take the time to learn exactly what it is that makes you tick.
Older men are often well established and have finished, or are close to finishing, their trek up the corporate ladder. They have usually learned the art of work-life balance, and even though their partying days are likely behind them, they can still find the time to go out and enjoy a night on the town (and usually at a swankier locale than a younger guy could afford!). They are usually financial stable, and better yet, emotionally stable. The childish issues that can sometimes plague a younger man are (hopefully!) far behind an older man, and they have often learned to overcome silly insecurities and grown into a content phase of their life.
Unfortunately, like younger men, with the good must come the bad. Sometimes the world can be a harsh place for the older man. Exposed to many more years of living and sometimes very different life experiences, older men can sometimes be jaded by certain things that you may not completely understand just yet (careers, relationships, etc). Older men can also, very often, be set in their ways and are less willing to adapt to situations and/or experiences that might challenge their views and beliefs. And then of course, there is always that question…”why exactly IS he single at his age?”
Contrary to all of this, however, you will still always be his hot younger woman. And we guarantee he will remind you of that every single chance he gets.
The Verdict:
When it all comes down to it, there is no clear winner in the younger man vs. older man battle. There will be exceptions to every rule and some younger men will go against everything we have said here and the same goes for some older men. Who knows, maybe it is time to start worrying about things that are a little more trivial than the age on your crush’s birth certificate. After all, you know what they say: “age ain’t nothing but a number”. And here at 29Secrets.com, that is a motto we live by!
Over 50 and don’t really date a lot, and even less now simply d/t lack of trust, more so than when I was younger. Most of us over 50 have lived and experienced life, some more than others – i.e. marriage and divorce and carrying a lot of baggage. If a woman appears to be looking to get married I question her motives/sincerity. Does she really want me or my money, house, etc. I really don’t like the agenda of this video – “Engaged at any age”. I appreciate if a woman lets me know she is interested in me, IF she is truly interested in ME, not my money or possessions. If I question your sincere interest and I don’t call you then reaching out to me might help to confirm your interest. A very simple thing to remember. Most of us have been put through some amount of sh*t from the opposite sex so STOP PLAYING GAMES. BE YOUYRSELF. BE HONEST. BE SINCERE. Make your intentions known. If you put on an act and do some of the things she says in the video – for e.g. fake compliments – we are going to know. Smile if you are happy, fake smiling is irritating to say the least. I really hate when a woman tries to hard to appear upbeat and bubbly. Again, very simple, be honest with your feelings. Instead of faking happiness/smiling, just be pleasant company. Why does dating even at this time in our lives have to be such a load of crap???? It is very simple, two mature adults meet and think they might be compatible, let’s find out. Be yourself. Be honest. Stop the BS. Don’t waste each others time.
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